Sunday Family Humour 19th February Page 2
Sunday Family Humour 19th February Page 2
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Married for Thirty Years
Thanks to Captain Bob
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks ... "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
Looping a Helicopter - almost
Thanks to David H.
Tyres coming soon
Thanks to Tony H.
They have been testing these for several years now.
Resilient Tech was developing them for the military.
Amazing new tires.........................
Michelin Tires... Absolutely SCARY looking...
Look for 'em in August.
These tires are made in South Carolina, USA.
SEE THROUGH TIRES
Radical new tire design by Michelin.
The next generation of tires.
They had a pair at the Philadelphia car show.
Yes, those are 'spoke' like connections to the inner part
of the tire from the outside tread 'wrap!' The next picture
shows how odd it looks in motion...
Makes you wonder how the ride feels doesn't it?
These tires are airless and are scheduled to be out on
the market very soon.
The bad news for law enforcement is that spike strips
will not work on these.
Just think of the impact on existing technology:
A. No more air valves...
B. No more air compressors at gas stations...
C. No more repair kits...
D. No more flats...
These are actual pictures taken at the
South Carolina plant of Michelin.
Creative Way to Hide Dead Trees
Thanks to David M.
All the old cottonwood trees in the area of Craig , Colorado , had some disease
and needed to be removed. So the city council approved a Chainsaw competition
in the park and offered a prize. The attached pictures are a result of the competition
in the park. Great artists! Great public service.
The English Plural
according to....
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing..........
If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.????
Remembering Elvis
Thanks to Captain Bob
Turn the sound on, Click on the song title below and that song will play.
Sleepwalking Dog
Thanks to John H.
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