Sunday Family Humour 1st January Page 2
Sunday Family Humour 1st January Page 2
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Australia, here I come
Thanks to Tony H.
A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life
by throwing herself into the sea,
but just before she could throw herself from the wharf,
a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man.
"I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia tomorrow.
I can stow you away on my ship.
I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Australia,
the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard
and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine,
and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied.
"He brings me food and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added,
"Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain.
"This is the Isle of Wight Ferry."
The Miracle of Computers!
Thanks to Cory A.
Hope you enjoy this one
- it's interesting to see all that is included.
It would prove invaluable assistance to anyone studying history or biographies.
Well worth saving for students.
Painted by Chinese Artists, Dai Dudu, Li Tiezi and Zhang An,
oil on canvas, 2006.
This painting is truly remarkable.
Even more amazing though,
is that the canvas has been computerized.
When you click on the link below,
a much bigger version of the computerized painting appears.
Run your cursor over the people.
The program tells you who they are,
- every single one of them.
BUT (click on a person) and you obtain the individual’s life history.
This is fascinating...
Can keep you busy for hours!
Cool Parrot dancing to Ray Charles
Thanks to Lee
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Save the Antelope
Thanks to Chris A.
Certainly makes you think!
I love It
Thanks to Ray M.
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Buy Smash mashed potato mix.
Keeps in the cupboard for up to a year.
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of dry cake
mix instead and there won't be any
white mess on the outside of the cake.
Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Celery? Never heard of it!
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.
Leftover wine??????? HELLO!!!!!!
Lastly, if you don't forward this to one of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your bum will fall off.
A Highway through A Building?
Thanks to David M.
Gate Tower Building is a 16-story office building in, Osaka , Japan .
And what makes it notable is the highway that passes through the 5th-7th floors of this building. The highway is part of the Hanshin Expressway, a network (239.3 km) of expressways surrounding Osaka , Kobe and Kyoto , Japan . The Gate Tower Building is Japan 's first building to have a highway pass through it. And it had been nicknamed "beehive" referring to its appearance as a "bustling place". The Umeda Exit of the Ikeda Route of the Hanshin Expressway system passes through this building.
The expressway is the tenant of these floors. The elevator doesn't stop on floor 5th-7th, floor 4 being followed by floor 8. These floors consist of elevators, stairways, machinery and other stuff. The highway passes through the building as a bridge, held up by supports next to the building making no contact with the building itself. The building has a double core construction, with a circular cross section and special care is taken by providing surrounded structure to the highway to protect the building from noise and vibration. Generally expressways are built underground, and passing through a buildingis an extremely rare occasion. It dates back to 1983, when the redevelopment of this area was decided upon, "building permits were refused because the highway was already being planned to be built over this land. The property rights' holders refused to give up, and negotiated with the Hanshin Expressway corporation for approximately 5 years to reach the current solution."
Doormats With Attitude
Thanks to David M.
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