BEST Colleague Quotes

Wise, funny, or in some way memorable things we've heard our colleagues  say...

"We have waited so long for this topic to get resolved Chad had hair (currently no hair) and Tim lacked a beard (currently with a full beard), May 9, 2024

"What is cool is that we get to make mistakes...", Paulo, April 29, 2024

"This is just computational geometry..." after a computational physics modeler explained an extremely complex math model. Florentina, April 30, 2024

Co-worker asks, "Can I get access to that report?" Other co-worker says, "It is behind an Only Fans pay wall...". April 25, 2024

Michael mentioned to Dan, "You sound like you're another Forrest Gump like Mark is." Dan, "I am certainly at the intelligence level of Gump...". February 29, 2024

"Are you performing tech support on the Abacus?," Bob asking Alex...February 26, 2024

"Window's protocols are the Super Highway for ransomware...", Bob, February 23, 2024

"You don't want to be below the security poverty line...", Doug S., January 26, 2024

"We don't want to have so many pilots we could start an airline...", AB, January 26, 2024

'I'm not going to tell you how to suck eggs..." from a vendor explaining how to perform challenging tasks, January 10, 2024

"Can I ask an inflammatory question?" asks Tim. "You can do it better than anyone!", Bob, January 4, 2024

"I'm ironing in the background...", when someone overhead a noise during a call, Chad, December 20, 2023

"When it rains it pours and then we are living in Seattle...", Ian, October 31, 2023

"This is the takeaway I took...", Michael in regards to key learnings, October 12, 2023

"We are using the system to dream in the right direction...", presenter, October 11, 2023

"Hopefully it wasn't as terrible as it could have been...", Jared after presenting on an AI topic, October 10, 2023

"What I know about S4 (the SAP project) is that it is a letter, a number and a date...", Bruce, October 5, 2023

"We are not very mature. Some of these we are starting from nothing...", Jim, September 22, 2023

"I was trying to say you were on mute and I was on mute...", Shipi S., September 19, 2023

"It is unrelastic expectations that people can read my mind...", Bob B., August 15, 2023

"Life is tough when you lose your dongle...", Dan G. referring to losing a USB dongle, August 15, 2023

"No slackers; no jerks", Greg G., July 10, 2023

"It's a custom built squid and it will puke out ink at you...", Bob B., June 26, 2023

"This will require a multi-faceted assault to implement", Jennifer M., June 22, 2023

"It is like architecting by braille...", Bob B., June 14, 2023

"We're ready to be cutting edge guinea pigs...", Sarah C., June 8, 2023

"This is good...it's actually written down.", Bob B, May 10, 2023

"One size fits none," anonymous, April 21, 2023

"It's analogous to someone vetoing my airfare expense, because I've got a mountain bike in my garage...", anonymous, April 21, 2023

"We are enacting our 2023 eMail Reduction Act by using this software...", Mike W., March 23, 2023

"If this were a hockey game and I get a penalty at least I show up on the score sheet," Eileen S., March 8, 2023

"Embrace the 'crazy'", Tanja, March 8, 2023

"Don't be the first to tell yourself 'no'," Sheran, March 8, 2023

"Leading with empathy," Sheran, March 8, 2023

Work intake without additional funding and investing in solutions during uncertain economic times is like, "running down the dirt road with your pants at your ankles...," Anne C., March 6, 2023

"The 4th of Neveranuary", Joel, March 2, 2023

"It's a good place to go to die," referring to FL, Don K., February 23, 2023

"Colony Collapse Disorder is the unexpected death of a full hive. We have too many 'swarming' projects," Tim K., February 22, 2023

The cashier says when she rang me up, “the only reason I am breathing and standing here is to ring up your food.” 🤖👽, Michael, February 18, 2023

"What does the FOUP acronym mean? Is it 'Flying Overhead Unidentified Products'?", Tom J., February 4, 2023

"I'm too close to the end of my life to care..." Anonymous, February 2, 2023

Being distracted, "It's like lighting a handful of bottle rockets rather than a roman candle," Chaz, December 14, 2022

"I think this slide needs a little 'church up'", Joseph, December 9, 2022. Definition: Church up is the act of increasing the fanciness of a slide.

"WebEx is our snapchat," due to the 24 hour messages disappearing after typing them, Mark M., December 5, 2022

"We use water like its water..." talking about the usage of water at the factory, November 29, 2022

"It is like putting sticks in the raging river," when you're trying to start with some of the tasks in a project, Chaz, November 16, 2022

"I am trying to drink through a fire hose.", Michael "Does it feel like you're being water boarded?", Melissa M, November 7, 2022

"The Planning role is like 'winning the lottery'", Diana, November 4, 2022

"Our (Lenovo/ Dell) laptops are nothing more than Internet machines...", Amelia M., November 3, 2022

"Inventory: it's the cholesterol in the (manufacturing) plant", Rick, November 1, 2022

"Don't create islands of success in a sea of waste", Rick, October 31, 2022

"It is like doing the stupid stuff but with more energy...", Rick, Lean Facilitator, October 31, 2022

"A great watch needs no grease...yes, I referred to people as grease", Clint, October 31, 2022

"Is your dance card open for the next two weeks?", referring to a resource needed, Rich, October 28, 2022

"Some people want to print their pick list, they like a pen and paper to check it off. Just like some people drink buttermilk after their porridge," Ramesh Y., October 17, 2022

"Data is the new toxic waste dump," Brandon D., October 13, 2022

"Let me try to rain on your parade...", Rubin, September 28, 2022

"I have 48 process flow maps. It took a long time to build them...", Kate J., September 27, 2022

"I'm pretty happy with SAP." Laugher in the room. "I've never heard anyone say that before!" September 27, 2022

"I try to keep our customers equally unhappy...", September 27, 2022

"If we talk about product returns that may heighten the alcohol consumption tonight...", September 26, 2022

"I am so busy I feel like a drop of water on a hot skillet...", September 22, 2022

"My job is like fishing for sharks!," Anna C., September 7, 2022

"Is the business working for the ERP or is the ERP working for the business?", Diana S., August 31, 2022

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger," Bill S, August 31, 2022

"Hundreds of valves are missing nuts...they are nut-less," Anonymous, August 31, 2022

"Do you have any dietary restrictions?", asks Mark. "No, I eat rocks...", Rolando, August 15, 2022

"This year is whole new level of intensity...", says Michael. "It is Entegrifiied!", Mark, August 15, 2022

"They acknowledge Operational Technology when they are drunk...", Craig Z., August 9, 2022

"Improving the work is the work", Laszlo, August 9, 2022

"We need to have a genuine distaste for the status quo...", Joel O., August 9, 2022

"I pulled a muscle rolling my eyes...", Bob B., May 10, 2022

"The moose is designed by committee..." Doug M, March 31, 2022

"Sounds good in a poem..." Bob B, March 28, 2022

"There is no clean way to drink from a firehose..." Graham on KSP, March 23, 2022

"It's like running in a bucket of mayonnaise...", the amount of time moving data manually, Rich T., March 23, 2022 

"You want to customize an end-to-end pokes yoke system where trained ferrets can do the work since the system does all the work? It can do that." John St., referring to the features of an MES system, March 8, 2022

"When you go to lunch with someone you end up messing with the silence..." captured by Melissa from a memory care patient, March 8, 2022

"Nobody cares about infrastructure until it no longer works.....like the toilet," Anne, February 22, 2022

"Good enforcement leaves no mark," Anne, February 16, 2022

"It sure seems like a booger floating in the wind," Anne, January 28, 2022

"The suspense is better than TV..." as Mark watched the team work through networking issues with a lot of people on the phone. January 11, 2022

"It's like seeing your aunt in the shower," when observing a major security risk... Rich, November 16, 2021

"We have SAP therefore we have Excel," Twan, November 16, 2021

"It's in my book. I wrote the book," Twan, November 16, 2021

"If costs were no object we wouldn't need architects!" Rich, October 22, 2021

"You think I'm a teenage girl that can text you back that fast?!?" Overheard from a phone conference call, October 19, 2021

"Its like grasping diarrhea vs. turds..." when trying to nail down something intangible. Anne C., September 30, 2021

"Are you happy with me?" so asks my son, Mark M., September 24, 2021

"As I peel back the onion on this problem I start crying...", Don, September 21, 201

"Sometimes it is like 'chaos on a stick'," says Dean, September, 15, 2021

"The best kind of Monday is a Tuesday," said on a Tuesday after Labor Day, Don, September, 7, 2021

"Hurricanes, earthquakes, droughts, fires, wars, terrorists, mass shootings, riots, political meltdowns, global virus - this is daily life in 2021," Michael, September, 8, 2021

"We have these sessions on Work Life balance and I don't have time for that..." Don, July 14, 2021

"I'm aligned as of today," Anne C., July 8, 2021

"PTO stands for 'part-time off'," Anne C., July 3, 2021

"A dog makes you more human," Anne K., June 29, 2021

"Its like using crayons on tin foil," Doug M., June 11, 2021

"A day in the company is akin to a dog year", Diana S., Michael D., March, 2021

"It's both frustrating and amazing," when Michael referred to architecture and Jenny says, "that's the definition of life!", April 29, 2021

"That person's role is a one person wrecking crew," Scott P., April 26, 2021

"Let me get my head configured," Steve M., February 10, 2021

"That's the first time I've heard IT being compared to a septic system...", when using architecture analogies, Jim, February 1, 2021

"We need to be good for more than just good snacks," Jeff B., January 28, 2021

"Do you want the romance before the chase scene?", Tim K. explaining a project's gyrations, January 13, 2021

"...otherwise you get the dog's breakfast...", Doug M. when talking about someone returning to their work, December 17, 2020

"Bewildering constellation," when referring to a daunting set of challenges, Simon C., October 21, 2020

"Chewing old soup...", Doug M., October 6, 2020

"Butts in chair, they don't care," Lisa P, August 25, 2020

"Unicorns and ponies don't exist," Jennifer M, August 20, 2020

"You can't have an IT meeting without talking about viruses", Todd E, August 17, 2020

"I've never swum in a data lake!", Tim K, August 13, 2020

"Part of my job is getting stood up!", Barbara, March 10, 2020

"It may not be Mrs Right but it is Mrs Right Now!", Dean S., March 5, 2020

"Data is the plural of anecdote," Dean S., March 5, 2020

"When I die I want to be buried by the Vikings so they can let me down one more time!" Mike Be, November 25, 2019

"Not every silence (between people) is awkward," Grayson U., November 25, 2019

"I like to count my blessings every day but I run out of fingers," Grayson U., November 25, 2019

"Where there's mystery there is (profit) margin," Dean S., November 21, 2019

"I'm a pretty good thinker and you're a pretty good talker so let's work together!", Dean S., November 21, 2019

"Google Sheets is good enough for Grocery Lists!," Ross S., November 19, 2019

“We shopped for women’s clothing together," so said two guys that worked a lot together in the last week Eric D, Dan B June 19, 2019

"Life insurance is useful for anyone that is alive," March 18, 2019 so says Katrina H

"My mood didn't change color, it stays black." March 6, 2019, Lisa F regarding her mood ring

"I am more deficient than normal", January 31, 2019 so says Garrett G

"We don't have to go very far to go forward" Renee, January 30, 2019

"My main goal is to kill the blue cards!" Bruce, January 30, 2019

Michael says, “You've drunk the Kool-Aid!” and Kristin says, “No, no, I made the Kool-Aid!!!” January 30, 2019

"You don't share your (pink) speedo", says Bill M, January 16, 2019

"I like closing the door and shaking the snow globe," says GU

"Its like punching me in the face with the Bible" when there are too many notifications on the app, TW

"I consider myself a human API between Chris and Scott", Dan B

"East-Coast Interesting" - (adj.) Kopkish for describing something as being truly interesting as opposed to the implicit meaning of the word "interesting" in cultures geographically located in the Midwest where it is meant to subtly imply "different", "odd", or "foreign" but in a passive-aggressive polite sort of way that is not meant to offend.

"Just say it" - (phrase) A term coined by Teresa I's during a social faux pas in which the intended subject of the directive was, in fact, already saying it. Used presently as an exclamation when directing someone to live into our cultural tenet of transparency, or in celebration when someone does so.

Kopkish - (noun) A word used to describe the sometimes cryptic language of the division's president, CK

"I don't like where the survey is...I think the name looks weird...I think the layout without photo IS weird...I think this being not mobile is very, very weird...AND not acceptable....Who designs for desktops any more? Are we in the 1990s? Do I need to run and meet the school bus? Sooo...a design not approved was implemented for the 1990s?" December 5, 2016

"Change is happening at the speed of wine fermenting...." Grayson, December , 2016

Wise, funny, or in some way memorable things we've heard our collegues  say...

Enterprise Architecture Quotes

Scott Beck Quotes

Richard Frasch Quotes

Definitions

What is a Horizontal?

What is a Vertical?

What is Learning - (noun)?

What is a Stage-Gate - (noun/verb)

Other Non-EA  Quotes

Useful sayings attributed to people outside of Cargill (links welcome)...