Wise, funny, or in some way memorable things we've heard our colleagues say...
Enterprise Architecture Quotes
"Usefully Ambiguous" Darin Hawley
"This slide is eye numbing" Darin Hawley
"Are we giving in on this.... I mean 'compromising'?" Michael Dockham
"Everyone has the right to hang themselves." Anonymous
"You're too machine focused" Trevor Hebditch (comment to Geoff Boileau in a meeting)
"Ruthlessly crush all the definitional fiefdoms" Darin Hawley
"We've flipped, like a waffle house" Michael Dockham (in reference to a changing a decision numerous times)
"Go slow, to go fast" Michael Dockham (how planning properly ultimately benefits overall initiative perfomance)
"Is 'Data Retension' what you do when your information starts to sag?" Kyle Wiese (in reference to a misspelling)
"Oh, I'm optimistic, I'm just insane!" Geoff Boileau (when asked whether his optimism was flagging after he vented a little)
"Bait arc repnrt tn eb?" Trevor Hebditch (e-mail content of 3:30am flash of insight on EA organization structure)
"Spreadsheets are the accountant's cocaine!" Mike Burstein
"Architecture is like salt & pepper, you have to sprinkle it in many places" Mike Burstein / Raman Johar
"Not really; really, not." Michael Dockham (when asked whether progress had been made on a deliverable)
"The higher we rise, the louder we fall." Raman Johar (when describing the success of the EA Team's efforts to date, and how the bar has now been set higher)
"It may not always be easy to understand, but introducing a new term does not simplify the communication." Trevor Hebditch (You're right, Trev, it's not easy to understand!)
"Put some assets in the bin, and go!" Raman Johar
"It won't be a lighbulb going off type insight, it will be more like a dimmer switch" EA Team Member
"It doesn't offer anything to the sentence, if we assume people are intelligent." Trevor Hebditch (in response to a suggested change to a presentation!)
"The decision log is something which we don't have a decision on, yet, ironically." Darin Hawley
"Understanding of Dynamic capacity planning/DLPAR use, vitalization in an IBM hardware platform ..." A Tartan Document (Those IBM machines sure are vital!)
"Collective editing, can be a violent sport" Mike Kline (in reference to attempting to wordsmith and edit a document with a group of 8 - 9 people)
"Facilitate the Chaos" Trevor Hebditch (in reference to one of the delivery steps to operationalize BAITS)
"PITfalls: If you do not follow Process, Information and Technology in order then you will fall. PITfall" Trevor Hebditch (dreamed up at ICEX conference over drinks)
"Make sure we use the tool, and the tool doesn't use us" Raman Johar (in reference to our planning of how to structure ARIS IT Architect.
"In Principle do you agree with the Principles?" Joe Inserra
"Can you show me where I put my document?" Jay Robeson (the defining moment, proving he's now a veteran member of our team).
"You have to think two to three chess moves ahead." Michael Dockham
"The choir is preaching to you!" Pam Hullander (to Robin Cotton after Dave Cecchi promoted the value of Metadata Manager).
"It seemed to make sense last week." Mary Auer in ARIS design meeting after team flips on database approach.
"Can you appreciate the irony, EA team recognition event and we spend the entire time looking ahead to what's next." Geoff Boileau
"Are we all on the same page?, Yes... Page 53!" Raman Johar (in reference to the Operating Model picture in the "EA as Strategy" Book.
"SharePoint is a great example of where our ability to create has outstripped our ability to control" Dean Swann (in a ShareIT meeting on RIM / ECM)
"Honestly, there is not much we can do about the speed of light." Nels Looser (on the topic of network latency during ShareIT network presentation.)
"imho we need more tla it is part of our culture." Craig Peters (smart comment in an IM chat about the standard glossary footer cautioning against the use of acronyms)
"I am in the hairy apes category." Michaeleen Kruger (in response to the maturity of EA BAITS' evolution - some are apes, some are fully upright humans).
"Questions... is that really the answer?" Darin Hawley (when discussing the creation of filtering questions for EA involvement in projects).
"We are all non-conformists, that's why we are on this team" Michael Dockham insight into EA team membership.
"That's like giving a monkey a razor." Don Phillips (on being responsible for filtering/consolidating status reports).
"The gorks are coming." Beth Moran (demonstrating her familiarity with the Lord of the Rings trilogy).
“Way to go Charlie, you really know how to park a car.” (an example of overuse of supportive feedback, from Cargill Performance Management's "Giving Feedback Guidelines.")
"I have to plan to be spontaneous." Carlyn Sivoravong (on her planful nature).
" 'I' is the center of BAITS, you're just a bunch of BATS without us" EIA Team (jesting during a team meeting).
"Sometimes there is a fine line between vision and hallucination." Jim Bauhs (regarding the Vision Statement for EA).
"It's too bad people aren't smarter." Aaron Hangge (while dumbing down the design of a Sharepoint site).
“It’s not hypocrisy, it’s bureaucracy” Geoff Boileau (on the immense challenges involved in gaining project approval and then the even greater challenge of actually getting a project started)
"If there is any tool or technology that we can use to complicate things we will." Darin Hawley
"This work is so good, I'm going to have to give you a high 5!" -- "With all the fingers up?" EA Team Member (in referencee to potential creative use of the new recognition note pads).
"Just to clarify... you're aligned to US" Trip Brubacher (in responce to Troux declaring that Cargill is aligned to their approach to modeling capabilities).
"We'll follow your lead.... to hell and back" Andy (Troux) (in rebuttle to Trip's quote a above).
"The cloud, its above me." Kelsey Holthus (at an ICEX conference talking about Cloud architectures)
"We need to better explain what the 'dealing with ambiguity' survey question really means." Kelsey Holthus (ironic comment during EA All Hands presentation on culture scan).
"Don't worry, nobody is managing anything right now." Robin Cotton (in reference to not having a 3rd party service provider on the Cargill network untill first getting the required authorization).
"Does anyone else get this excited about content management?" Darin Hawley, "DEAN!" Nancy Wirth Drahozal / Geoff Boileau / Michael Dockham in unison.
"At Cargill there is no 'draft'" David Mundt in reference to estimates related to strategy work.
"For those of you that are looking for black and white answers on this issue, prepare to be disappointed." Trip Brubacher
"All it took is 'one beer,'" Trip Brubacher making a comment about putting the "E" in front of eInsight and how it showed up in EPDT.
"If you leave money on the bed at a hotel rather than elsewhere in the room that lets the staff know it is a tip. That is the EA Standard." according to Daryl Lee .
"I think you call a group of IT managers a gaggle, correct?" Curt Bruss "Ekta says it is really a brood." Ekta Marya
"You have to assume people are doing things the way they are, not always because they are lazy or stupid, but maybe because things are more complicated than you think." Darin Hawley,
"I made coffee for a guy with nine shots of espresso in it. I haven't seen him since." So says a barista, Ayla, to Darin Hawley and Michael Dockham at Jazzman's.
"We have some really old applications here, that seems to be part of Cargill's culture" - Kathy Peterson durring EA All Hands meeting
"You need to lower your requirements!" said to Michael Dockham from a vendor to Cargill evaluators during their demo when their solution was not meeting our expectations.
"Who told you your laptop needed more memory?" asks the Service Desk to Michael Dockham when experiencing slow performance.
"With a name like Reed Moore (read more), you're already qualified to be an Enterprise Architect." -Rogier Jacobs
"As Enterprise Architects, we are knowledge brokers" - Sherry Gabrielson
"If we need more cowbell, we can (a) upgrade AD to 2012, and (b) use add-on MS directory capabilities like LDS." - Bob Bassett
"Why do we need to think about the future?!" - benjamin abraha pondering the role of EA over a beer to Darin Hawley and Geoff Boileau
"I have access to your Universe!" - Robin Cotton when she was explaining to Michael Dockham challenges around accessing data within eInsight.
"All dreamers are not Einsteins" - Satish Bengeri, as the role of EA in innovation was being discussed with Joe Inserra
"Containment - thats what they try to do with you!," - Mike B. Smith referring to Rik Geerts during the Application Portfolio rationalization and lifecycle discussions.
"We need more bang and pow on this slide!," Kerri Athmann tells Michael Dockham and Landon Leischner
"Some of your best work, is your rework." - David Mundt to Cathy Medich in reference to EPDT deck revisions
"It's good. It tastes like Ovaltine. I love Ovaltine!" Geoff Boileau exclaims when Darin Hawley gives him a taste of the dried malt extract before pouring it in his beer recipe. Michael Dockham gets to share Geoff's fiinal-EA Colleauge-Quote. We're sure going to miss him being on our team!
"We are now consciously incompetent. At least we are not unconsciously incompetent." - Rogier Jacobs while discussing the new Application Portfolio Dashboard with the EPMs.
During a CIO leadership panel discussion in the EA Seminar, Joe Inserra said to Kim_Skanson@cargill.com, “I heard you say, Future State Architecture but now that you work at Cargill instead of Target you can now call them Target Architectures.”
While preparing for a conference call Michael Dockham asked, "You mean we can use the full Lync experience?" The group responded in unison with a resounding "yes!" Alison Frank responds with, "hmmm, I've never had the 'full Lync experience' before!"
As said during a TGRC assessment Steve Winsor says, "One gets the idea the stable door is wide open and horse long gone...whilst we are being asked to place a saddle on the missing animal and manage its future welfare..."
"Now I understand why Reykjavik is the suicide capital of the world after living in Duluth", so says a vendor during a conversation about traveling
"Random acts of mobility do not constitute a mobile strategy!" uttered by Edgar Dorn/General Mills at the 20 May 2015 EA Sharing Forum (a gathering of Cargill, General Mills, and Medtronic colleagues) where the topic was “Mobility Experiences”
"It seems easy... but we don't execute on 'easy'!" Michael Dockham pondering why Cargill's contracts with its teir 1 vendors are not incorporated into architecture planning
“You can throw the navigator out of the plane at any time – it won’t crash right away….” Geoff Boileau pondering the future after learning of the untimely demise of so many of his former colleagues in EA
Other Non-EA Quotes
Useful sayings attributed to people outside of Cargill (links welcome)...
"A manager is responsible for the application and performance of knowledge. Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done." Peter F. Drucker - this is one of my favorite reminders Michael Dockham
"Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow" - Linus's Law
"The work will teach you how to do it" - Estonian proverb
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice." - Unknown
"Stick out of the bag" - Jost Hopperman, Forrester Research (used multiple times in "Global Enterprise Architecture" tele conference, yet we still don't know what it means.
"Just cause you have a picture, doesn't mean you have a model." - SYSCO, durring ICEX virtual session, business modeling for IT.
"99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, patch it around, 117 little bugs in the code."