Aftershock

Aftershock

I lay there on the couch, frozen and numb. My skin crawled, and my stomach churned. The room was closing in on me. That didn’t happen. I tried to reach my phone, reach for my shirt, reach for anything- but I couldn’t. Laying there, stripped of my clothes and my dignity, taking short, rapid breaths seemed to be all I could do. That couldn’t have happened. The memory would be forever burned in my mind, but I wouldn’t unlock it until later. For now, I just needed to survive.

I heard heavy footsteps walking back to the room I was in, and despite the fear dripping from my every cell I couldn’t bring myself to move. Why am I frozen? My limbs were heavy, and the walls were closing in. The scent of cinnamon, once pleasant and soothing, was now burning my lungs, and I struggled for air. A tear ran down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away; I couldn’t let him see.

He walked into the room, but his footsteps sounded almost distant, as the heartbeat thundering in my ear drowned him out. The sound of my heart racing was deafening, and I resisted the urge to scream. I need to get out of here. Grinning, he sat down next to me, enveloping me in his arms. Buried under the covers and in his arms, I was smothered, suffocating, and yet I had no escape. I tried to take a deep breath, but the air was stale, and both he and the room pushed tighter. Pressed against the couch, I had no other choice but to lie there.

The room started to spin, and my body went limp, just as it had before. You’ve only got so much fight in you before everything gives out, before the fire behind your eyes turns into a quiet resignation. I had always thought there would be more of a fight. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore my surroundings, but I could still feel the weight of the man pressed against me, the heaviness of the cinnamon air, the arms that were slowly crushing my lungs. I can’t breathe.

Suffering in silence, I waited for my escape.

Although her writing can be dark, Natasha Halovanic is a ray of sunshine.