By Shiv Patel
I was just sitting there at this pond, minding my own business. Bored and got nothing to do. Well, actually, my Dad told me to get off my lazy ass and get a job or something, but I don’t feel like it. It’ll change nothing about me, after all.
Anyways, I was just sitting down on the grass next to some water at the pond, half-inclined to just lay back and relax. Y’know, appreciate my goddamn lazy and worthless life.
Before I could though, I spotted a little shadow wavering on the shore towards me. Quickly enough, that shadow revealed itself to be a frog with…fish fins?
“Huh, is that some kind of frogfish?” I thought aloud.
Apparently, the thing heard me because it just started speaking out of nowhere. It opened its large and pretty disgusting mouth, croaking out “No, I am not a frogfish. I am a creature with no name.”
Okay, so I had to pause for a moment there to process in my brain that a random, unnamed, never-before-seen abomination of an animal just swam up to me and started talking loud and clearly in the freaking English language.
Though, the truth is, I didn’t really care too much about it, so I just said nonchalantly, “Kay, so you want a name or something?”
“I don’t know.” The so-called creature with no name responded. “I come from a time before names existed.”
Cool story, bro. So, what was it doing here again? It was just staring at me now with those large, bulbous eyes.
I kinda waited a bit before speaking again, “Well, I’m going to leave now. Bye, frogfish.”
“I don’t have a name.” It responded in a matter-of-fact tone.
I apologized, “Oh yeah, my bad.”
You see, I left cause I couldn’t really relax with whatever that thing was just staring at me the whole time.
The next day though, I went to the pond again, same spot and same time, blah blah blah, and guess what? That “creature with no name” appeared again, though now it had some small feathery wings in addition to its fins.
I could’ve asked why the hell or how the hell it suddenly grew wings, but I didn’t feel like it. Plus, I was more annoyed that it was ruining my peace and quiet again with its obnoxious presence.
“So, whatchu doin’ back here again?” I asked the creature with no name.
“I don’t know.” It responded with the same apathy as last time. “I have wings now.”
The creature started to hover above the water, flapping its tiny, little wings. Guess it was just trying to show them off. Honestly, the only thing in mind at that moment was wondering how in the world did those wings support that chonky body.
“I see. Guess I can call you a flying fishfrog, then?” I asked.
“No, I have no name.”
“Well, then what am I supposed to call you?”
The creature stood still for a moment. I could only guess that it was thinking of some sort of answer, before it opened its gross mouth again and stated that “You don’t have to call me anything. I am a creature with no name.”
Well, that’s stupid. If you say you’re a creature with no name, isn’t that what you call yourself? So, isn’t that the name you’re making for yourself? Come to think of it, this thing’s pretty annoying with how it doesn’t like to be called anything. Can’t it just be normal?
Though, again, I didn’t really care about this thing, anyways. It’s just a stupid frog-legged fish with wings, who cares about its damn name? I just stood up and walked out on it again. Whatever.
But anyways, you could probably guess what happened the third time I went to that pond. Yup, it was there again, and now it was wearing a whole, long-ass monkey tail.
You see, I’m not much of a curious guy, but this whole situation was pretty damn absurd. So I asked the creature, “Okay, how the hell did you grow out a monkey tail?”
“I don’t know.” It croaked out the same response as the other two times, so I honestly should’ve expected it.
It did choose, however, to add that, “I like monkey tails. They use them to hang on trees and grab things.”
Its tail wagged and grabbed a leaf floating on top of the water. It seemed to not know what to do with the leaf though, since it just dropped it again right after.
“Wow, you surely know what’s up with monkeys.” I said sarcastically, even though he didn’t say much at all.
Since I was also feeling like being a little annoying that day, I then said, for the hell of it, “So, now you’re a fishy winged monkey-frog, huh?”
“No!” It gave me the same response again, just as expected. “I am a creature with no name.”
“So what, if you don’t got a name, do you at least have some hobbies or something?” I wasn’t too interested. I just wanted to know.
It responded with, “I have no hobbies.”
“So you just eat food and sleep all day?” Honestly, I was only asking because it would be my kind of life.
“I don’t know.”
“Huh, how the hell do you not know what you do? Do you really just do nothing all the time?”
“I don’t know.”
Alright, this thing was starting to piss me off. It had no concept of self-identity at all.
But like, even so, I couldn’t be bothered to care that much. So, I kinda just decided not to say anything more and walk away. Before I could walk away though, the creature asked me a question.
“What is your name?”
“My name? It’s Nate.” Not exactly the most interesting of names; it was pretty average, honestly.
“Why is your name Nate?”
“Uh, cause my parents named me that, duh?”
I was thinking about asking it where its parents were or if there even were other creatures like it, but, y’know, at this point I was 100% certain that it was just going to respond with “I don’t know.” So, I didn’t ask.
Instead, the creature continued speaking, “Parents…named you…Nate.”
“Nate.”
“Yeah, what’s up?” I ask, kind of annoyed on how it was just starting to say my name a bunch of times.
“I like that name, ‘Nate.’ I think I’ll call myself ‘Nate.’ That will be my new name.”
I rolled my eyes, “Ok buddy, why are you just stealing my name? Look, there may be hundreds of Nates out there, it ain’t special or anything.”
“But it’ll be nice to have a name.” It suddenly was switching up, like it wasn’t just being so damn fussy on how it didn’t have a name before.
“Ha, what? So you don’t want to be unique at all?” I said that in a kind of annoyed tone. I think I was starting to get angry and I didn’t even know why, to be honest.
“I mean, c’mon, look at you, you’re just a bunch of random parts of other animals stuck together. You’re not really original or anything; you’re just weird!”
After saying that, I had to like, chill out, for a few and take some deep breaths. Still, in the meantime, that damn creature Nate was floating there on the water with its damn impassive expression. Well, I thought it looked deadpan anyway; I couldn’t really read its freaking frog face.
Calmly, it spoke up and began to tell me that “I take parts of other things to see if I like being like them. How else would I know what to be like?”
“Like…? What? How do you even know if you really like something, anyway?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I try, Nate. I think I like trying new things.”
Okay, I was super confused. But, I think what it was saying made a little bit of sense. Some things you just like and some things you just dislike. I’m pretty sure I like hanging by this pond. I just have the urge to stay here now and then, so that’s why I’m guessing so.
Nate, the creature, then made an announcement, “I think I’ll leave now. There’s more places to be than just this pond.”
It lifted itself with its absurdly tiny wings, hovering itself above the ground once again.
“Thank you, Nate, for showing me you. I think I like you.”
It then flew away, never to be seen again. Well, the other times I went here to this pond, it didn’t appear again, anyway.
I managed to yell out a “Uh…ok, bye!” before it left, however. I don’t know why, but I kinda feel like I’m missing that thing now, even though it only showed up for like, what, 3 days? And my few interactions with it weren't really too positive.
But anyways, after it left, I kind of told my Dad I was going to get a job at McDonalds. Yep, I was going to work at that god forsaken place, with all those weirdo customers and those annoying ass Karens.
I figured though, maybe I can meet some cool new people that come from different places and all that crap. Not specifically at McDonalds, I mean. Like at other places and stuff too. Hell, maybe I could even find something I like if I start going out more instead of just staying inside or at that crazy pond all day.
I’m not counting on that too much, though. After all, y’know, I do feel like I can be a bit indecisive at times. I think so, anyway.
Shiv Patel is a junior that appreciates the wide variety of media through which people tell their stories. His favorite? Video games. This short story was inspired by J.D Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye in terms of writing style and a certain unnamed creature in the Netflix TV show Hilda.