"Tax Man Max"
Music by Stephen Flaherty
Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens
Performed by Patrick Quinn
January 7, 1995
Welcome to the new variety, sit and relax
I'm that song and dance phenomenon, Max
Let me sing for you, do my thing for you
Until they give me the axe
Here's the song I'm doing, going to fill you in about tax
Tax is that familiar melody, sinful and true
Hum it if you've earned a dollar or two
Bucks are being spent by the government for whatever they do
Anyone who earns a living gives more than a few
So our schools can be their best, so our roads will have no cracks
Someone fix those train tracks!
I hear you calling Uncle and I'm paying my tax
Oh, these are my girls, hello girls
Hello, Max, nice outfit
There are many different ways we pay what we owe
Ladies if you'll form a lovely tableau
Income, property, sales, utility, candy bars in my show
Licenses for dogs and cats, and that's not all you know
Out of almost every dollar a person can make
City, State and Federal governments take . . .
Take what?
What they think is fair you giving your share
Now and then there's a break
Max is talking taxes
Hey, have I kept you awake!
For the things your town may need
For the things a country lacks
All good things take greenbacks
We hear you calling Uncle and we're paying our tax
People do complain
Say their taxes are high
What am I to get in return?
Look around you friend, Max is showing you why
With your taxes you support
How we live and how we learn
Now here's the good news
Many things are tax deductible
Which means their cost can be subtracted from the amount of income you'll be taxed on. Things like medicine, doctor bills, and supplies for your work.
So keep those receipts
Be kind to your parents at tax time
And remember April 15th, April 15th
What a showman you are Max
Entertaining us with tax
In those snazzy plaid slacks
These slacks are for my business
I tell you I'll deduct them
I hear you calling Uncle, and I'm paying my tax
His tax, our Max
And I'm deducting my sax