Pumpkin Spice Gets Political

Emma: The Case for PSLs

Now, let me preface this by saying that I think pumpkin spice lattes taste like an ungodly amount of sugar mixed with twenty-year-old sewer water and a dash of nutmeg. Yeah, they’re gross. However, I’d like to take a more holistic approach to this debate. I’m a utilitarian at heart. “Function over form” is my motto.

Besides the typical fall craze, here’s what the PSL really brings to the table.

One grande (medium, that is) PSL has 150 milligrams of caffeine, 52 grams of carbohydrates, and 50 grams of sugar. Now, you might think this is perpetuating the downfall of American youth, but I’d like to contend for the contrary.

Let’s take a look at our student body, my dear peers. How many of us are subsisting on sugar and caffeine to sustain us through school, work, sports, and homework? More than any of us are willing to admit.

The PSL offers one thing that I believe compensates for its atrocious taste: convenience. Sugar, carbs, calories, caffeine… These things give us the energy we need to get through school! And the PSL offers all of them in abundance.

I’m not saying I’d enjoy downing a PSL. But it sure as hell would get me through an AP Calc test. 

Nick: The Case Against PSLs

You couldn’t be more wrong. Pumpkin spice lattes are an abomination to society, there are no positives to the creation nor consumption of a PSL. It is a FACT that pumpkin, spices, and coffee do not go together. If we lived in a better world, they simply would not exist.

If you want a drink for the Fall, have a nice cup of spiced herbal tea, or maybe apple cider, and if you need energy, drink a separate cup of coffee or other caffeinated beverage. You know, like you would any other time of the year.

Some people like the flavor of pumpkin spice, which is totally understandable, but instead of committing sacrilege, simply have a slice of pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, or a pumpkin spice bowl at Nella’s.

Don't get me started on the abbreviation PSL. It is literally the same abbreviation for the US Party of Socialism and Liberation, a communist political party. Does anything scream unfavorability more than Communism!?!? Come to think of it, Emma CASTRO… any relation to Fidel?