By Olive Copeland
America is the only country in the world that relies on a rodent to tell us the future weather. Now don’t get me wrong I am proud of the groundhog (go off, I guess) but I am a little confused on why there isn’t an animal for each season.
Groundhog Day is one of our most beloved traditions, so why not take the logical next step? You might not know this about me, but I actually come from a long line of animal fortune tellers, which makes me the right person to suggest an animal for each season that we can rely on to to predict the weather.
Spring:
With countless amounts of research I have come to the conclusion that the amazing bold and smart worm should be given the position of determining if we get less or more weeks of spring. The worm will be placed between 2 slabs of dirt, and if the worm swivels to the left side then there will be 6 more weeks of spring.
Summer:
I took summer into deep consideration, for I know many people might be mad at an animal if it said we would have less summer. That is why I have decided to choose a goat because who would be mad at a goat, it’s just a goat guys! Basically the goat would be put into a truck blindfolded, don't worry they won't be harmed, and they will be driven away from the farm. Once they are placed in their unknown location they will have 2 days to find their way back to the farm. If it does not, well then RIP, but if it does then 6 more weeks of summer!
Fall:
I personally love fall in all it’s glory but I feel that the animal that should be depicted with fall is a naked mole rat, to just throw everyone off a bit. The rule with this season is you need to find a little child, and then show them the naked mole rat. If there are no immediate tears streaming down their face, then Congrats!!!! There are 6 more weeks of Fall!!!
Winter:
And we have finally arrived at the thing we came here for, the wonderful and astonishing GROUNDHOG!!! As probably most of y’all know the groundhog is taken out on groundhog day and if he sees his shadow then there will be 6 more weeks of winter…obviously!!!
I hope everyone enjoyed my pitch on the animals and their seasons that they should be assigned. I am excited for the upcoming years and to see what the weather will have in store for us.