By Kiefer Rhoades
Senior Skip Day was on March 15th, and the cautiousness shown by the senior class to engage in this mass rejection of learning is noble. Many emails were sent to the school asking if Senior Skip Day was an excused absence, which shows that our great 12th graders care far more about the state of our nation than this frivolous holiday.
There have been extremely damaging and radical examples of how Senior Skip Day has been used in the past. In 1987, an extreme stock market crash which was referred to as “Black Monday” was not caused by stagflation and paranoia, but rather that American 12th graders held about 30% of all company investments in the country at the time, and decided to pull all of their investments at the same time for fun.
This was preceded by the introduction of Reaganomics, a plan by the senior classes of 1981-1987. Ronald Reagan is well known to have never been able to make decisions without a script or someone telling him what to do, so the 12th graders throughout his administration spent their Senior Skip Days demanding him to better implement a tax-cutting economic policy that would better support their incredible wealth, prior of course to 1987. Reagan himself was also completely unhelpful in tracking down the culprits as the senior classes failed to write a script for him that would hold up in court.
This could all happen as by taking days off without notifying anyone, Senior Skip Day was naturally spontaneous and lawless. Only the seniors themselves knew when Senior Skip Day was, so authorities were unable to keep track and document when these dangerous escapades would occur in the future, however, with the cautiousness shown this past March, they absolutely can. I have to commend the class of 2024 for assuring our great country that they have no interest in crime by voluntarily publicizing and subsequently giving up their one day to destroy the world, and instead striving to have as great a school record as possible. No more will we have to fear things of the past like stock market crashes or political puppets in the federal government.