By Edwin Demper
This question has been setting classrooms on fire at Croton-Harmon High. The question, which might seem too basic to even consider, has now captivated some of the finest minds in the building and is causing deep divides in the student community.
“Of course!” Say some, “If water isn’t wet, what is? It’s like, it’s defining point!”
“Well actually,” others object, “it’s not the water itself that’s wet, it’s what is touched by water that’s wet, and water’s not touching itself. It’s causing the wetness, but it’s not the wetness itself!”
Others yet try to fuel the fire and muddy the waters of debate. “What about milk? Or Diet Coke?” they demand.
According to water enthusiast and English teacher Mr Demper, the whole debate comes down to a confusion about language.
“Students are not really talking about water, but about what the meaning of the word ‘wet’ is,” Demper explained. “If you mean by ‘wet’ something that is liquid, then water is wet. However, if you mean by ‘wet’ something that is no longer dry because it has a liquid on it, then you think water isn’t wet.”
“Ultimately, the two sides are only arguing because they can’t agree on the meaning of a simple word.”
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary,
Definition of wet (Entry 1 of 3)
1a: consisting of, containing, covered with, or soaked with liquid (such as water)
Water is wet.