Coping with Death

Have you ever lost someone so important to you?

Many people have lost someone important, and they have lost their mothers, fathers, pets, siblings, cousins, and friends. Many people have lost the people that they loved and cared for in so many ways like suicide, gun violence, gang violence, drowning, old age or other ways. It's really hard to get over someone's death, and you have the feelings of being lonely, depression, grief and not being able to accept the fact that they are gone. But we can learn a lot from others who have gone through grief, which can help in our moments of sorrow.

Personal Experience

I have lost so many people who were important to me to death. I have lost my older brother on January 5th, 2019. He was 18 at the time. I lost my brother to gun violence when I was only 12 years old. I was so devastated because that was my brother and my best friend.

I had to miss two weeks of school so I could attend his funeral but I did not want to see him lying there because the first funeral I ever went to was, my brother's. I just supported my family until I got the courage to finally see him. I had to take a little break from everything so I could spend time with my family but I still go visit him at his grave and spend lots of time there.

In 2020, I had also lost my cousin who was in his late teens, due to gun violence. It was really hard for my family and I because he lived in Utah so we had not really gotten to know him very well. We still went to his funeral all the way in Utah and supported our family. It is really hard to get over the passing of someone so please know that it is okay if you want to be angry, sad, etc. Just know you are not alone and that people do love and care for you.

Mrs. Goodwin-Wittry’s Experience

I interviewed Mrs. Goodwin-Wittry. She has lost all three of her grandparents and two of her uncles over the last twelve years. The most difficult part about losing them was knowing her time with them ended, and that she could only embrace the happy memories that she had with them. She would not be able to make new ones with them. The way that she reacted towards them passing was by going through the stages of grief and it really depended on the day for which she was in.

For each of them, she had to fly out of state to say goodbye and attend the funerals since she was in Colorado and they were in the midwest. When she was at the funerals, it felt hard for her since their passing was right there and she had to confront it. Mrs. Goodwin-Wittry’s life after was pretty hard since she knew that the feelings were never going to completely go away. She stated that she had so much support from her family and friends.

Some advice that she would like to give is if you are feeling lonely or going through something to please go to our counseling departments, and embrace the loved ones that you do have.

Mr. Miller’s Experience

I also interviewed Mr.Miller, he lost his father in 2018 when he was barely starting with his new job of being the principal of our school. The most difficult part about losing his dad was that his dad was his guidance for him, that he always wanted to make him proud, but when he passed away he felt that he had one less person to work hard for.

The way he had to find out was by his brother texting him that his “dad isn't doing so good.” Mr. Miller became emotional because he knew that his dad was sick. He took a day off from work, made phone calls, and flew out to support his mom and the rest of the family. When he was at the funeral he could not go in, he had to stay outside with his little brother because he did not want the last memory of him to be of him laying in a casket.

He was thankful that his dad was not hurting anymore and that he got to spend a week with him for the last time before his dad passed away. His friends and family were supporting him and respecting him as much as they could. Mr. Miller is still grieving, but said that overall his life is doing a lot better!

Some advice that he would like to give is that it is okay to feel how you are feeling, but if there is someone who is grieving to please talk to the counselors that we have at Galileo so you know that people love and care for you.

Ways to Cope with Death

Study shows that you can cope with death with therapery, finding people who can understand you, taking care of your health, and being patient. Everyone copes with death differently but I have coped with death by spending time with family, taking a break from everything for a little bit, making sure I eat and being patient. Dealing with death takes a long time, it does not just go away because you grieve for a while. It takes time to move on and be okay again and that is perfectly fine. But make sure you do not push away people who care about you. It could physically and emotionally hurt you and them.

If you are dealing with death or feeling lonely, please do not forget that you are not alone. Many people love you and care about you! Also do not forget that it does take time to heal. It could take a week, months, or even years and that is perfectly fine.