Friends forever

कबीरा खड़ा बाज़ार में, मांगे सबकी खैर,

ना काहू से दोस्ती,न काहू से बैर।

Kabira Khara Bazaar Mein, Mange Sabki Khair

Na Kahu Se Dosti, Na Kahu Se Bair

Once we pay some attention, we will be surprised to observe, how quickly we classify someone as our friend or foe. Also its very interesting to analyze, when we interact with the world, how we tag others as a friend or as a foe. And like many other important life lessons, understanding this subconscious activity is totally ignored in our development process. The only way to realize this with right sprit is, through our own experience and soul searching. In this dynamics of interacting with outside world understanding Prakriti ( nature) is a very important.

Human life is expression of some behaviors sparked from our very own unique believe system ( sanskar). At first some elements of this believe system we get from parents and relatives, then comes contribution from friends and our educational systems, thirdly all the pleasant and painful experiences we go through in our life and some parts of it, nobody knows from where it comes, this is what some of eastern philosophies say, we inherit from our previous life. Characterizing of this believe-system into a person or in a living being, is called as its Prakriti (nature).

All of us have our unique nature(prakriti)  and which not only other considers as us but also more often we ourselves consider as ourselves. So it is very loving to us. And all living beings has a tendency to confirm ( to prove it is the only truth ) its nature in outside world. And this is very very powerful in the world of action, this phenomenon  is named as Maya ( illusion) . All living beings [ including us :) !! ] interact with world through that Maya (an unrealistic view of existence). The strange thing is, it is so correct to us at this very moment  that we can’t think of any other idea to be correct but in a short while our  view itself get changed and another view appears as perfect truth. So in reality, we all are perceiving the world through an unique glass of maya of this very moment but strange thing is we are not ready to accept it. That gives all the diversities in the world.

The moment our nature or believe system get challenged by another nature we become very arrogant. This phenomenon is called as our ego. So it is wise not to challenge any nature not for a little kid too, it only results arguments neither does good for who is challenging nor to whom is being challenged. But when other challenges it to us, we don’t have any other option than defend it, at that time we should try to justify only our action with reasons nor by challenging others nature or action and at the same time if we can remind ourselves,  they are just criticizing our nature and our nature has a momentary existence, that’ll help us to calm down and won’t hold us back with that incident.  We should neither get flattered with praise of our nature for the same reason.

For us the first thumb rule for productive interactions  is : never challenge any prakriti nor go out of the way to praise it ( Praising nature and action is different), because the nature is ever changing.

One thing we all observed, we feel very comfortable with whom we consider as friends and those people have a lot of similar life experiences. A man, they say, is known by the company he keeps. This is because there are lot of similarities in our nature and we can easily confirm or get assurance about  our nature is correct, from that company. That’s what we all want to see world is doing to our nature. We must have observed when somebody gets in line with our thought we just get some comfort but really not expanding, it just pamper our ego and get some sense of relief. Many times,  those friendly interactions are not much productive but more self-assuring. That is why gossiping ( পরনিন্দা পরচর্চা ) is so delicious. As much as possible we should try to avoid seeking for these relief as no Prakriti is exactly identical so at some point staying without purpose won’t n be that comforting.

So, when we are among others, it is wise to try to offer an active spirited presence but just in case if we don’t get enough enthusiasm and can’t be out of that situation also, at least we should try to appreciate creative inspirations flowing from others more importantly not to criticize them.  In the world of action dynamism is more accepted than inactive virtue.

Then what would be the secret of creating a good friendly time in our path of life or what is the right way to interact with our world ? I think, it is not attitude to help or being helped not even exchange advice, not praise each other, answer will be what Puru replied to Alexander. The expected behavior is what a King does with another King, not a boss and subordinate, not a customer and a service manager, not a driver and the rider , not even a teacher and a student, not any other relationship tagged in our society. In more worldly terms, by getting engaged in some spontaneous and creative activity. From my experience it gives the best possible time in any team activity at any situation, anywhere in the world. Then only we can get a sense that we are getting connected to the other person and our heart says he/she is our friend forever. And we would be able create more friendly time, out of the limited time we have in this world, জগৎ , যার গতি আছে …যা চিরপরিবর্তনশীল…. তার আধারে  চিরমিত্রতার অনুভূতি.

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