Post date: Oct 19, 2011 3:33:07 AM
Sorry about the delay, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND7yJ7sMosk is
pretty much what it's like for Stain to get a Hash Trash out of me these
days.
ANY-way... The hash got off to a somewhat slow start as none of the
CUNTHHHers who weren't actually haring managed to make the bus on time, but
then again, some guy had a diabetic attack on the bus we ended up taking and
I was the only one on the scene with dried fruit snacks. I blame his
shitass, inconsiderate guardian angel for making me miss the bus so I could
save the man's life, so what's *your* excuse?
By the time the pack was fully gathered, the natives were getting restless,
and were also *not* getting drunk, which may have had something to do with
one another. Blame it on NYC's Open Container Rapid Reaction Strike Squad
for making us a little jumpy about boozing in the open. Sorry guys!
Our Hares I Am Cumstain and Pre-Dick-Table (on his virgin hare!) had laid a
heapin' helpin' of shiggy on our plates, so much so that we may as well have
had a plywood chicken indicating how many inches high you had to be to ride
this hash, as people with small dogs and smaller children ended up having
trouble in spots. But more on that later. Chalk talk was given, using dry
cake mix which the dogs were certainly fans of, the rest of the pack doing
their best to speed read before the mutts snarfed it all down, and we were
off.
Leg one took us through scraggly undergrowth beside some warehouses (some
halfminds must have gotten lost, cause they went through the warehouses'
parking lots, like a bunch of idiots) through a pungent Jersey river, some
equally pungent swamps, and a lake that looked as nice as bad it stank.
What? The water crossings were a little much for those with kids, as there
isn't enough money in the world for the medical care the defects those
kids'll come out of the river with would require, and they chose to autohash
to the next check, and then to the On-In.
After the woods, and through downtown.... somewhere in Jersey, what do I
look like a map? We ended up at the first beer check, manned by
Anal-Lick-It-All of Summit, where yours truly found out Sucks it Up was the
ghost hasher he'd been hearing but not seeing almost the entire leg. My
relief that we wouldn't need to send out for an exorcism was such that I
forgot myself and let slip some Type-A comment about being in the front of
the pack. Nice to run with people who make you drink for that sort of shit.
The second leg was somewhat more straightforward, as the trail then turned
into a wild goose chase through a weedy field, and then into a long,
abandoned parkway trail along side a slightly less stinky body of water, and
then into the Chateau d'Cumstain for the on-in. Two trashcans full of
choice beer, all of which would eventually get drunk, helped refresh the
halfminds, although most had lost so much blood along the way it didn't take
much to get things going. The grill was lit and soon Stain's magical
multiplying mysterymeat was sizzling along, with special thanks going to
Anal-Lick-It-All's kids whose youthful pyromania meant the grill was always
running like a blast furnace.
The hash circled up, and the hares did their downdowns, I did a few for
general race-ism, I think we had a few birthdays, honestly the blackout
curtain was starting to descend at this point, BUT one bright spot is
CUNTHHH has a new named hasher. After long and intense collaboration with
the Summit hashers, who kept us on track with shouts of "Not dirty enough!"
we settled on Second Cumming (Once Removed), based on an incestuous hookup I
can only imagine took place after a barn dance, under the influence of a big
jug of moonshine with X's on the side, in a haybale deep in the heart of
Texas.
At this point Sucks It Up turned into our personal Jukebox, cranking out
awesome old hash tunes, none of the words I remember. Ah, the bittersweet
pitfalls of having the person with the worst memory, work ethic, and alcohol
tolerance do the write ups!
All in all, and awesome hash, and thanks so much to Summit for coming out
and making it a blast. Same time next year?
Current word is, Lazer Labia and I-Feel Tower are planning a hash to take
place on 20 Nov. Stay Tuned.
On-On,
Type A-Hole