Post date: Nov 1, 2015 10:19:26 PM
On a lovely Halloween afternoon, CTD, Bollywoodless, and Topless Barbie hared a 3.1 mile trail around Harlem. Trail began with a back-check along the Hudson, and proceeded into Riverside Park, where there was a circle jerk around Grant’s Tomb. The largest mausoleum in North America, it seemed an appropriate to visit for a Halloween hash. Bollywoodless, dressed as Elliot, raced the pack towards the first drink check on his bike, where he met them in Sakura Park with spiked cider. The pack proceeded towards 125th street, where they encountered some people shiggy around Apollo Theater, and then went north on St. Nichols Avenue, where they crossed into St. Nichol’s park. While crossing St. Nichols Park, the pack was rewarded with a second drink check, provided by yours truly, Topless Barbie, dressed as a Freudian Slip. The drink check consisted of mango-rum soaked gummies, which initially were shaped as ghosts, pumpkins, werewolves, and worms, but after several days of being bathed in rum had the consistency of brains. After the drink check, the wankers proceeded west on 129th street and back to Floridita’s, as the trail was A-to-A.
After filling our bellies with lovely spider cupcakes (provided by CTD, who was dressed as Dora the Explorer) and much candy, circle began.
Down-downs
After the hares were provided with down-downs, the virgins were up next. Of the six virgins, Lexi’s Bitch brought four of them.
Dead Hooker, who was appropriately dressed as a dead hooker, complete with a sparkly dress and fake blood on his face, was quite into his costume. Our sister hasher complained, “my boobs are too small” and “I’m bloated”, for which he received a down-down. Sister hasher, you should be warned that all that beer won’t help with feeling bloated…
We had a visitor, Dog Shit, dressed as a NYC tourist in a shirt proudly announcing that he <3’s NYC. He served as a stunt liver for all the civilians inquiring, “you guys running a marathon?”
Cheeky Bastard was quite a selfish bastard, dressed as a New York Met but abandoning them during the World Series, when they needed him most! Perhaps if he had been pitching at the game instead of imbibing at Flordita’s, last night’s game might have had a better outcome. But it didn’t—so thanks Cheeky.
Visiting from Skull and Boners in New Haven, Shut the Fuck Up and Just Amanda “got lost” and missed the drink check. Having been responsible for laying this well-marked trail, I am certain it takes a level of ignorance and inattention to not follow the marks and I have a higher level of faith in these two individuals’ abilities to follow trail. Therefore, they were accused of sex on trail and we sung them “20 Toes”.
I will conclude with best costume. First place was Bollywoodless, dressed as Elliot, complete with his bike and ET in his hash backpack. In second place was Tequilla Whore, dressed in all green, including a wig and USDA label, as organic broccoli. A virgin, Just David, won third place, as Indiana Jones.
For those of you who missed the marathon hash this morning, come out and cheer along our raceists at 96th St and 5th ave!