The sexual life of the camel,
Is stranger than anyone thinks,
At the height of the mating season,
He tries to bugger the Sphinx,
But the Sphinx's posterior sphincter,
Is plugged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel,
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.
Singing: bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, titty-bum.
Singing: bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, aye.
Singing: bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, titty-bum.
Singing: bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, aye.
The sexual life of the ostrich, is hard to understand,
At the height of the mating season,
It buries its head in the sand.
And if another ostrich finds it,
Standing there with its ass in the air,
Does it try to give it a jump,
Or doesn't it bloody-well care?
Chorus*
In the process of civilization,
From anthropoid ape down to man,
It is generally held that the navy,
Has buggered whatever it can.
Yet recent extensive researches,
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall,
Have conclusively proven that the hedgehog,
Cannot be buggered at all.
Chorus*
We therefore believe our conclusion,
Is incontrovertibly shown,
That comparative safety on shipboard,
Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone,
Why haven't they done it a Spithead,
As they have at Harvard and Yale,
And also at Oxford and Cambridge,
By shaving the spines off the tail?