Deja Vurushiol Hash trash

Post date: Aug 17, 2012 3:23:08 AM

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different outcome"

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

-Ivy League Legend George Santayana

"So like, you're gonna double back the way you came for about 5 minutes, then when you get to the top of the hill turn in the opposite direction from the way you came..."

-I Like Head, fucking TWICE!

Pack gathered at the 181st street A stop, at the cloisters. Leading the hash were Copa Cum Bloody and I Like Head. A sizeable pack of 30 or so half-minds came out for a summery Saturday hash, in the beautiful cloisters area of uptown. Promises of multiple drink checks didn't hurt either... but more on that later.

Trail started out heading south on Cabrini Street, but wasn't to remain on surface roads for long, as trail led up and over a locked (but only waist high, and as every NYC scumbag knows unless it's locked, covered in concertina wire, under CCTV surveillance, and patrolled by security guards, feel free to wander in and take a crap/jack off/tie off and shoot up/all of the above.) gate and down a steep, tripwire strewn hill into a pit full of used condoms, which makes perfect sense as nothing damps up a pantie quicker than a moonlit night in a filthy holler screened by a scraggly bush or two from a major highway, splitting a tallboy of steel reserve with your teenage heartthrob/homeless lothario/other kind of man who for some other reason doesn't have access to an indoor bed.

Scampering on from there, we ended up at the first drink check, near the Ft. Tryon offramp on the Henry Hudson Parkway. Flabonghissimo tried to entertain his his crewof barely legal European hardbodies by foaming over a beer and holding it over his crotch (Get it? Like, the beer is his cock, and it's cumming foam?) and managed to smash the neck of one bottle and waste the contents of two others before he finally got it right. After a round of the North Atlantic Squadron the pack was off.

Into the park proper, the pack wasted a bit of time trying to figure out a *4* mark check (sigh) but afterwards we were led up a narrow hillside trail directly to the Cloisters Museum. Pack was concerned and unsure how we'd manage to get through without being arrested or at least paying admission, but the hares had located a side passage out. Skirting along the riverside cliffs, the pack ran down through an overgrown path and ended up at the second drink check. The half-minds were overjoyed to see the suds, but a few hashers expressed a disquieting sense of deja vu. Maybe it had something to do with the first quarter mile of the third leg running back over the last quarter mile of the second...

Anyway, pack headed out and down, bushwhacking their their way down to Dyckman Street over a sheer rock hill with only a downed rusty chainlink fence for purchase. Pack got back on the sidewalks, but it wasn't to last as they immediately went into a quarter mile of shiggy that was almost entirely poison ivy. After everyone had been completely doused in poison Ivy grease, trail led under a bridge and down to Inwood hill park, where a linear quarter mile in direct sunlight made the drink check beer all the sweeter. Lil Dirty decided to skip the death march, and the backtracking that was the theme of the trail apparently, and headed off onto the 4th leg, never to be seen again until the on-in.

The rest of the pack headed up and into the park again, running along side and under the Henry Hudson bridge, where Lunch found a tarnished old serving spoon he'd use to sling chili the next weekend at the hash he hared. (And people were bitching about having to drink old ice beer!) As always the last leg is the fuzziest, but On-in was in the same spot as the third check, with a keg cunningly hidden by draping a blanket over it. Circle went as randomly and ramshackly as usual. No accusations stand out.

Tomorrow is the Hashlympics at Lazer's place! 1 Maria Lane, Ossining NY. Hope to see all you wanks there!