Dear HKMS Families,

Happy New Year!

As you have heard Mrs. Mohr and me say at nearly every parent orientation, coffee, and open house, we should not prepare the path for the child, but the child for the path (based on Tim Elmer, 2001).  As a parent, this is much easier said than done.  Recently my daughter's friend group had some trouble at lunch.  The teachers supervising lunch felt they were excluding other students from joining their table.   Without interviewing the students, the teachers decided to assign everyone a lunch seat to break up any clicks that might be forming.  My daughter had a much different version of events, and became very upset when she shared this with us (of course at bedtime).  My urge was to get involved and ask questions of the school like, "Were students asked what happened? Was my daughter involved in excluding behavior? Why is the whole grade being punished for what could be an isolated event? What's the plan to given them back some autonomy?" 

I knew I had to resist my protective parenting instincts to "fix" the problem.  In order to give my daughter a chance to advocate for herself, I had to step back and hope my coaching was a success. The research says children who are given the opportunity to work out their own challenges leads to more mentally resilient and healthy adults.  Raising an emotionally healthy human does not mean shielding them from everything that upsets them, its about guiding them through the tough times so they can solve their own problems. 

After some emotional regulation of my own, I gave my daughter a few ideas and coaching tips.  In the week before break, my daughter and some of her classmates met with the lunch supervisors (giving up their recess time!) to advocate for a modified plan with a seating rotation that allowed for some choice and some mixing of groups.  I'm not sure how it's going to work out, but am proud of her for organizing and speaking up.  

The author, psychotherapist, clinical social worker, and professor Dr. Amy Morin describes what we as parents should and should not do when our children are dealing with an emotionally difficult situation. She says, not to become our child's "emotional manager" by cheering them up immediately, jumping in to calm them down, or intervening too soon.  What we should do is be a "supportive presence" by modeling healthy coping skills, normalizing tough feelings, encouraging problem solving, teaching emotional skills, validating their feelings, and recognizing their progress.   By doing so we help them to develop problem-solving skills, stronger relationships, better academic performance, and a reduced levels of anxiety and depression.  If you want to know more, I recommend checking out Dr. Morin's article linked below. 

In this short but sweet week students and staff returned from break with wonderful energy and eagerness to reconnect and get to work.  I hope you can take a few minutes to check out what was accomplished in just two days!  

Wishing you a joyous, successful, and inspired 2025!

Steve Clapp, Ed.D.

Learning how to take notes during a science discussion is a vital and tricky skill.  Mrs. Piacente, is modeling for her students using a documnet camera.  As students share their thoughts during the class discussion, Mrs. Piacente helps them to synthesize the information and add it to their notes.  

Before diving back into the land of mathematics, students spent a few minutes setting their intentions, hopes and aspirations for 2025!

8th grade ILA students are doing some group writing to test their knowledge and application of sentence writing.  Each time the bell sounds, the papers rotate.  Students roll the dice to see what type of sentence they need to add to their group's writing piece.