“A truly selfless act always sparks another” "

-S. Pablos, 2019, Klauss

Dear HKMS families,

Gift-giving is an interesting aspect of culture and a trending area of sociological and psychological studies (see  An Integrative Review of Gift-Giving Research in Consumer Behavior and Marketing and Gift Recipients’ Beliefs About Occasion-Based and Non-occasion-Based Gifts: The Importance of Signaling Care and Meeting Expectations in Gift Giving).  These and other recent studies have concluded that gift-giving is both a worldwide and historically consistent phenomenon.   So, as a species, we have been giving and receiving gifts throughout known history and across all cultures, ethnicities, and nations.  That is pretty amazing!  Not surprisingly they also conclude that unexpected gifts have a disproportionate benefit for both the giver and receiver. 

This week the benefits of providing unexpected gifts were evident at HKMS.  The student government has taken on the initiative of rescuing food from the trash which will go to local food charities.  By partnering with Food Rescue US, the student council saved over 100 pounds of produce (apples/oranges), milk, and dry products (chips, dried fruit, etc). That food went to “Fridgeport” where it was immediately distributed to the food insecure.  That 100 pounds also was not hauled away by waste services and not incinerated (which is how our food waste is disposed).  

Our Grade 8 Council facilitated a successful toy drive that culminated with a day at  Curiale Elementary School in Bridgeport.  Coined “the best field trip ever” by the students because they got to work, play, and facilitate learning with young, socially and economically diverse students.  The “we didn't know how good we have it” sentiment was only rivaled by the pure joy they left with after bonding with these students, especially after giving them an unexpected gift from the toy drive!  As the quote above from the movie Klaus says, these selfless acts will only spark other acts of kindness.  From a brain-based perspective, parts of the adolescent brain “lights up” on MRIs when acts of kindness are presented.  These areas of the brain are responsible for social and emotional control, and deeper levels of thinking skills which leads to permanent rewiring of the brain, called neuroplasticity (see Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s The Power of Neuroplasticity, 2014).

At this, the darkest time of the year, we light up trees, put menorahs in windows, and light up kinaras.  We give and receive gifts, provide for those less fortunate, and act in service to others.  We do this to enlighten our world, to give hope, and to improve ourselves and our communities.  It is amazing to watch our young adolescents, often viewed as selfish and self-centered, show all of us the best of humanity.  

From my family to you and yours, we wish you a happy Hanukkah, a merry Christmas, a blessed Kwanza, and the happiest of New Years!

Sincerely,

Steven Clapp, Ed.D.

Principal

Helen Keller Middle School

Find your strength, build upon it, and share it!

Names Matter

 by Arjun S. Phatak & Aniket Gupta  (grade 7 students)

Last year we made a big change. We moved from elementary school to middle school. Elementary school lets you interact with only your single class, but middle school allows you to interact with everybody. Of course, this means problems will occur. In our grade, there are 3 Indian kids, 1 girl and 2 boys. Aniket and Arjun (Us) are the two boys. And since this school is predominantly white, we are the minority. This leads to both of us being clumped together. 

Before we go into great depth, let’s talk about how we look. To make a side-by-side comparison, here are the differences. Aniket wears boxy, red glasses, Arjun wears circular green glasses. Aniket is 4.11 ft tall, Arjun is 5.2ft tall, Aniket doesn’t wear a mask and Arjun wears a big, black mask. There are still more differences but we constantly hear students and teachers make these mistakes. “Hey Aniket. If you were in a show, Arjun could be your stunt double.” This comment just hurts. 

What drives us even more insane than that, however, is when teachers make this mistake. One time a teacher said “ Hey Aniket, can I show this to the class?” Arjun put his hand on his chest and said, “ I am Arjun.” The teacher instantly apologized and looked truly sorry. They then said, and we quote, “ I promise I will never do that again.” They seemed genuinely sorry so Arjun was content. He even forgot about it until about a month after this incident. Arjun had done something well in his essay we were writing that the teacher liked so the teacher asked Arjun if his work could be shared with the class. "Hey Aniket, can I show this to the class?” They asked this even after the teacher PROMISED not to. Arjun once again put his hand on his chest and said, “ I am Arjun.” They then owned up to it and realized that they broke their promise.  Even today, at least once a week, a teacher or a peer makes this mistake. Every time this happens, we always converse about the situation.

You see, the reason people make these mistakes is because we stand out. We have brown skin. People can’t tell the difference between our names, and that’s a problem. Names define people, and they hold a lot of power. Putting somebody’s name in a negative light can taint their name while putting it in a positive light makes them seem like a great person. But if somebody gets their name wrong or mixes it up, how do they define you?  

Something many people don’t realize is how it makes us feel. People think it is a small mistake, which it is, but what happens is that the mistake is made so many times, it builds up. Every time, there is a little stinging feeling, and each time someone mixes up our names, it adds on and on. Eventually, you start to believe you are each other in a way. You don’t care anymore, just giving in. It makes you feel like you aren’t important enough to be your own person. And that feeling is the worst of them all. Not feeling important makes you feel like everything good you do is pointless. You can’t make an impact. You can’t do anything worthwhile. We know this sounds overdramatic and exaggerated, but it isn’t either of those things. You just don’t see it because we don’t show how upset or angry we are, just like many other kids who hide how they feel for the sake of pride.

This is happening because the school is, for the most part, not very diverse. There are very few students of color. We are minorities. This doesn't just happen to us. It happens to a lot of minorities in the school. We are asking you to tell your kids about these problems. Make them more aware of this issue and help them NOT make this mistake. This will make the school a better place and will make the minorities in this school feel like they are important because they are!