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2021-2022 Articles

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First Case of Noterasingthewhiteboard-itis Discovered in Local Classroom.

CHRISTIAN LARA

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Mr Thomas is outraged when all the teachers show up to meeting with fidgets.

OLIVIA BRADLEY

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Local Middle School Students Sneak Into Hallways to Trade Pencils.

QUINLAN SEEMAN

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Drowning Fish Saved by Bird on EMS Field Trip

RYAN HATFIELD

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Local Teacher Makes Popcorn and Refuses to Share With Students

CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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Discounted Water Filters are a Discounted Disappointment.

MCKENZIE O'DELL

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Teacher Realizes That Hat is Actually “Pretty Dope” After Taking it From Student

BEN GARMANY

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Boy Dress Coded: Students Stunned, School Shut Down

KARMYN LONG

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Noterasingthewhiteboard-itis makes its way into 20 different countries.

CHRISTIAN LARA

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Kid Expelled for talking about Religion and Politics in Social Studies.

MACKENZIE O'DELL

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Middle School Science Teacher Mr. Siefken Suspected of Being a Tortoise.

QUINLAN SEEMAN

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School Fight cancelled when nobody shows up to break it up.

PLAID DAD

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Leaked Info Regarding Mr. Carei's Haircut Sends Students Into a Frenzy.

CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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Gru in retirement acquires wig.

MACKENZIE O'DELL

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EMS Sets Record for 38 Fundraisers in One Month

BENJAMIN GARMANY

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Secret Colony of Old Students Found Hiding in Ceiling

CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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LITTLE SISTER IS WATCHING YOU

GEORGE BOREWELL

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Late Bell ruins 2's Day

OLIVIA BRADLEY and KARMYN LONG

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Students Shocked as entire Bathroom deviously licked.

RYAN HATFIELD

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Mr. Bolotin Arrives Back from Break Rejuvenated.

CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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Kids vs. Adults Basketball Game Causes Controversy

HAMMY MCDESITES

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Mr. Siefken Spends Entire Science Budget on Didgeridoo

CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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Mr. Moreno bans Socks and CROCS

CARMYN SHRODER

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The Shallot gets a new crew; Somerville Disappointed

CHRISTIAN LARA

Stanfield's globe might be holding Soviet leader from the cold confines of death.

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DREAMY JON AZBELL

Mr. Roenicke vs. Impossible Hot Wings

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BENJAMIN GERMANY

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Thousands of Partially Written Manuscripts Found in Christian's Folder

BEN GERMANY

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JOJO Reference gone wrong.

CARMYN SHRODER

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What Really Goes on in the Staff Bathrooms?

RUSSELL WHITE

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Mr. Clark Looking Dapper

HAMMY MCDESITES

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Mr. Stanfield Assigns Time Travel to Ancient Greece for a Four on Weekly Assignment

DREAMY JON AZBELL AND RUSSELL WHITE

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McGaffey’s Hopes and Dreams of Being a Pop Superstar Destroyed When She Realizes She is a Teacher.

NOAH WOOTEN

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New Endemic Focused on Dreamy Jon Azbell

BY ANDREW LYNN

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Siefken Inspires Staff to Put on Concert

BY CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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Shallot Guide for Departing 8th Graders (2022)

BY HAMMY MCDESITES

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Redlands Kid Crashes Mercedes on the Way to School

BY MADDOX URROZ

SIEFKEN LEAVES EMS FOR AUSTRALIA TO CHANGE THE WORLD

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BY CAMERON KIRKEGAARD

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2021-2022 Comes to an End

BY CARMYN SCHRODER

Man of the Woods in Office Told Students to Finish Strong; EMS Students Become First People on Mars

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BY RUSSELL WHITE

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