Staff Bathroom Reunites Mr. Roenicke with Lost Treasures

For decades there has been a mystery consuming the minds of the Students of East Middle School. Fortunately with the unprecedented access of the Yearbook Pass (available in NFT form for $99.99) the Shallotiers were finally able to gain exclusive access to find out what’s going on behind that concrete curtain. Through hard work and perseverance, one of our very own anonymous sources is now able to reveal the elusive secret that has long been hidden in the staff bathrooms.

“It took hours of emails,” says our source, “and about 4 twitter rants, but in the end, I was able to crack them down. Mr. Thomas gave me the key the very next day.”

What our source found was shocking, “it brought tears to my eyes! Piles upon piles of NFTs, everywhere the eye could see!”

This is not all our source found, “there were also piles of rubik's cubes, thrown haphazardly into a corner by Mr. Roenicke.” Our source dug behind the mountain of rubik’s cubes and found about 19 coffee mugs hidden there. When requested for comment, Roenicke responds, “It’s been 84 years. It’s been 84 years, and I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used. I lost those mugs my first year teaching, and I can’t believe I’ve finally been reunited with them,” Roenicke says with a tear in his eye. Roenicke went on to say, “I searched all over the school. From the reclusive cupboard in the staff room, to the hidden recesses of office drawers. But I never found them! I’m just so happy to be reunited…”

At this point, Mr. Roenicke broke down into sobs, as he hugged his lost treasure. The Shallot reached out to Mr. Thomas for comment, but he declined to respond, putting his head down in shame. The Shallot reached out to Mr. Roenicke for further comment the next day, but, having been reunited with his long lost coffee mugs, he felt this chapter of his life was complete. And so, when the Shallot reporters came to his house, he was discovered to have died peacefully in his sleep.

The Shallot does not know what else may lay hidden in the staff bathroom, but we are happy to have brought Mr. Roenicke closure.