Quenching
This is the moment where you finally got yourself some time and space to quench your anger. There are numerous methods to quench your anger from time to time. I went through some reading like:
STPHFR Model
This model is more of self-diagnostic healing. Strangely, it works backwards for you to root cause an the anger origin, thus taking action to manage the stimulus. Similarly, you can work from top to bottom to control your reaction (action) based on positive stimulus and actions.
Stimulus (S)
What happened? What event or experience are you responding to?
Backward 6 > Can you influence this stimulus (S) not to create such thinking anymore, thus eliminate anger causes.
Thinking (T)
What are you thinking about the stimulus (S) that got your attention?
Backward 5 > To find out what makes you think so badly and repeatedly (P), find out the real stimulus (S).
Playback (P)
What thoughts (T) are you playing back over and over again in your mind about S?
Backward 4 > What thought made you unable to let go and made you keep thinking of it (T)?
Heart (H)
What thoughts (t) did you buy into, identify with, own, or take to heart?
Backward 3 > To know why you taken it so deep in your heart, what is the thought that you can't let it go (P)?
Feeling (F)
What feelings are you having about what you owned (H)?
Backward 2 > Feeling can be negative, neutral, or positive. What had you taken into your heart (H)?
Reaction (R)
What is your response to your feelings (F) about (H)?
Backward 1 > Are you sure you want to take an action based on this anger feeling (F)? Will you regrets after that?
Anger Redirection
Another way is to redirect anger towards the stimulus of the anger like the origin of the thinking using the source of angers. Example:
BAD HAPPENS
I pay attention to some negative things. I experienced/did/had/knew the following negative experience (add your own).
BLAME SELF
I know better than myself (masochism). I am smarter than that. I know better than to do that.
EGO PLEASURE
I experience self-pleasing feelings. I feel pride, conceit, self-important, arrogant, haughty, boastful.
BLAME SELF
I should on my self (shoulda/coulda/woulda). I should not have done (add your own) and it (number one) would never have happened.
DEMONIZE SELF
I damn my self for knowing worse. I am inferior, stupid, and/or worthless for experiencing, doing, having, and/or knowing bad (number one).
EGO PAIN
I experience hurt feelings. I feel hurt, ashamed, depressed, discouraged, despair, helpless.
ANGER DEFENDS
My anger moves my focus to others. I am mad at you/them/it/life/God for giving/causing me bad (#1).
Redirect to: I am mad at my self-deifying for motivating my self-blaming and self-demonizing that caused my ego pain (number four).
DEIFY SELF
I know better than others (sadism). I am smarter than they are. I know better than they do.
Redirect to: Truth is better and smarter than my knowing better.
EGO PLEASURE
I experience self-pleasing feelings. I feel pride, conceit, self-important, arrogant, haughty, boastful.
Redirect to: I enjoy the truth, the good thinking that is in me. I am grateful for it.
BLAME OTHERS
I should on others (shoulda/coulda/woulda). They should not have done (add your own) and it (#1) wouldn’t have happened.
Redirect to: I blame my stinking thinking for causing me to have pride, feel bad, and to react poorly to adversity. I refuse to blame human beings.
DEMONIZE OTHERS
I damn others for knowing worse. They are inferior/stupid/worthless for causing me bad (number one).
Redirect to: My self-deifying is driving my self-demonizing which is causing my ego pain. It is stupid and sick to enjoy hurting myself (masochism).
DEMAND CHANGE
They must know and do better. They must stop, change, and/or fix it (number one). They must make me feel better. They must suffer for causing my pain. I must punish them for causing me pain. I must teach them a lesson.
Redirect to: I must blame and damn myself and others less and less. I must blame and damn my stinking thinking more and more. I must make myself feel better. I must stop deifying and demonizing human beings.
These are the existing anger quenching techniques that I learnt so far. Hope you get some stuff out of it.