11/19/21-

After rereading my original blog, I realized that Wicket was much smarter than I was. In hindsight, it's obvious he claimed me on his first night in my home, tiny paws on my leg going from sprint to sleep in a snap. I take a lot of pictures of all of my fosters- posting less than 5% in my blogs, but the number of Wicket pictures and Wicket stories in my blog... I should have seen it coming. Wicket knew. I thought he was a funny looking kitten, with the little smudge on his face. I remember getting the pictures sent by his first foster and wondering who would pick his odd little face. But looking at his pictures now through the eyes of love, I can't imagine why I thought that- because now everything about him looks adorable to me. I guess it's like my dad- who first thought Jigsaw was an ugly kitten and told her so repeatedly when she was little. He thought her markings were too confusing. He preferred the sleek sheen of Tetris. But now he thinks Jigsaw is so beautiful and he doesn't believe us when we tell him he used to think she was ugly. Writing this paragraph has taken me 2 hours because I keep stopping to stare at his pictures.

Wicket surprised us when he morphed from a fat munchkin kitten into a lanky teenager cat. But his sweet personality never shifted an inch. He was the BEST foster kitten dad.... accepting every new litter of kittens on sight. He was always with them and never minded being the bottom of a kitten pile-up. He was my secret weapon as a foster- because kittens learn by observing other cats. They learned unconditional love from Wicket. Also- many of them became big kissers or nursers, lol. But the kittens Wicket helped me raise are supreme cuddlebugs.

But Wicket had URI after URI- he'd finish antibiotics and seem healthy for awhile before getting congested and going back on antibiotics. The intervals between rounds got shorter and shorter. He charmed the vets at multiple vet visits by being such a good boy, but he really just wanted to be home, sucking on my ear. We were in the middle of a series of appointments and tests when he lost the energy to nurse or leave his cat bed on a Sunday evening. We decided to take the next day off of work and take him to the vet- if our vet didn't have his latest test results or couldn't get him in that day, we'd ask for his records and take him to the emergency vet. But he woke us up yowling. He'd lost control of his limbs and we couldn't wait for our vet to open. The emergency vets ran what tests they could- and all signs pointed to FIP with neurological impact and his prognosis for recovery, even with aggressive treatment, was very poor. They gave him medications that helped revive him from his lethargy just enough to tell us he loved us and nurse on my ear again. The vet let us hold him up and help him spend his last moments doing the thing he loved the most until his very last breath.

I think Wicket knew he didn't have much time, so he made the most of every second he had- filling his life, and the lives of everyone around him, with love and tenderness. The loss motivated me to complete a project I've considered for several years- ever since I first started seeing advertisements for cremation jewelry. My family had 3 cats when I was growing up, and I don't have their remains. But I had the cremains of all of my pets from my adult life and had them made into beads. SouthernImprint Etsy Shop
I'll be adding spacers in when they come, but I received it just in time to wear it yesterday, one month after his death. It really helped me make it through my grief.

The scabs on my earlobes are nearly healed but my heart has a permanent scar. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I was lucky to have loved Wicket and for the extra 7 months he lived with us after his sister died.