Player Profile: Tim Muttukumaru

Profile by Oliver Charles Malcolm

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few".

Winston Churchill's immortal eulogy, uttered at the height of the Battle of Britain on August 20, 1940 is perhaps the most perfect encapsulation of human endeavour in the history of the English language.

Yet, if there is to be a criticism, it is that Churchill's comparison of collectives (of course spoken to emphasise the epic significance of that event) has ultimately left an unintentional sense of de-personalisation, and perhaps unfairly therefore, an unintentional self-reverence. It is not a single hero that remains, nor heroes, but only Winston himself, his words the definitive representation of his own eloquence, rather than a perfect testament to the dead.

Yet Churchill’s words form a fitting base, and fitting tribute to our own great leader: Tim Muttukumaru (né. Muttukumaru). Not only is Demon's batting average significantly higher than the combined scores of the entire top order for the past three seasons, but he has turned a fairly inexperienced group into a highly respectable unit. His unparalleled excitement - infectious for team mates/highly irritating for opposition batsman – instantly sets a somewhat hysterical tone, which is amplified still further by his aggressive, helmeted stance at silly mid off - yelling instructions, laughing at overthrows, insulting batsman’s regalia. In the mould of Kevin Pietersen, Demon’s captaincy is of course solidified still further by his own wonderfully ebullient batting technique - every shot a pre-conceived launch over the top, with not a shred of respect for fast/spin/swing, and 'twos' successfully taken when a 'one' isn’t on. In fact, with regards to the latter, Demon has effectively become anti-Inzi. Though both are fine batsmen, Demon runs out his team mates for being too fast rather than too slow – which is of course massively handy if the Gunz is prodding along at snails pace at the other end (a la Botham/Boycott)

His bowling remains an unknown quantity (as indeed are the number of wides he has bowled between 2005 and 2008). Our fear is that, if both Jabaz and the Virus are playing, Demon might just combust, leaving our season - and dreams in tatters (a la Cheryl Gascoigne).

Career Statistics

Not the MCC

Batting

Bowling

Bowling