Player Profile: Leo Critchley

Profile by Tim Muttukumaru

Leo "The Laser" Critchley is feared throughout the Alpha Quadrant for his incredibly accurate bowling and knowledge of inverse tachyon pulses. Having originally started playing cricket as a means of adding to his vast knowledge pool (consisting of virtually anything there is to know about everything), the Laser has come to love the game of cricket and is now a member at Hove.

The Dolphin's initial forays into cricket were unsuccessful. As C.E. Thomas discovered, knowledge of advanced fluid dynamics did not automatically lead to instant cricketing glory. However, upon application of Bernoulli's principle, the Dolphin mastered reverse swing and is now considered one of its finest exponents alongside Waqar Younis.

Like his mentor Wasim Akram, the Laser's primary weapons are fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency. One victim, former Christ's captain Piyush Mahapatra, is rumoured to be living in a cave in Mongolia (such is his fear of the left armer). Further, and with an almost Churchillian defiance, the Dolphin continues to frustrate the second law of thermodynamics and achieves 100% efficiency whenever he approaches the bowling crease.

With regard to batting, the Laser has limited experience. Deployment of his full brain power (processing power equivalent to 2.4 petaflops) for bowling/fielding means he is usually utterly exhausted by the time it comes to batting.

When it comes to fielding, the Dolphin can often be found reading Frank Herbert novels on the boundary. He assures us that he is paying full attention to the cricket too.

Career Statistics

Not the MCC

Batting

Bowling