Match vs The Other Not the MCC

Regis takes the attack to the bowlers with all the style and panache of Geoffrey Boycott

So, 124-3 at lunch. Fine, the pre-match target of 200 looked within our grasp. Regrettably, the pre-lunch fall of 3 wickets for 14 proved to be a grim portent as NTMCC collapsed fairly dramatically. After a lovely dab for 4, Jobling fell foul of a tight run out decision with the score on 128.

Seaton Gordon, ex-Christ’s College, looked vaguely promising for 4 balls before getting a good one (which he played fairly badly!). 134-5. Fellow debutant Swanston was the unfortunate victim of Boot’s glorious comic timing in the commentary box just 2 balls later:

“Swanny looks like a blind man... [crash]... he’s batting like a blind man!”

If you will wear those sunglasses...

Watching this sequence back, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. At the time, I think I settled for the latter. 134-6 wasn’t really what we’d had in mind 24 runs earlier, but they say with every cloud comes a silver lining. In this case, the silvery blubber was that of The Dolphin, who jauntily bobbed up to the crease with all the enthusiasm of a lamb skipping into a slaughterhouse. He and the Captain sort of steadied the ship, taking the score along to 163.

The Laser later claimed that the Captain’s mid-pitch pep-talks has “calmed him down”. Regrettably they had rather the opposite effect on Muttukumaru, who aimed a huge hit over long on and was bowled, miserably, for 27.

Pretty much everyone was expecting something stoical from Beacham at this point. How wrong we were, as The Great Beach was bowled second ball. 163-8 was effectively 163-9 given our lack of an 11th man, so it was up to Olly Malcolm and the Laser to save us. After surviving a huge lbw shout in the next over (and gathering a rather useful 4 byes), The Dolphin gave up the ghost and was bowled for a fairly respectable 1 (fifth highest run scorer).

167 all out, having lost 9 wickets for 57. It had all gone a bit Devon Malcolm.

Anyway, we hoped that the spirit of Derbyshire’s finest would be channelled into one of Derbyshire’s more recent exports, our own Oliver Malcolm. Olly and Dave produced probing opening spells against a very decent Musicians batting line-up. Olly was hostile and Dave found some good movement off the pitch to cause all of the batsmen trouble. It was the ever-dependable Beacham who struck first, skidding one into Desai’s pads to take the first wicket.

Malcolm followed this up with the wickets of Rymarz and Zemlich, the second of these with a brutish delivery that reared up off a length – great bowling. Rymarz, it should be said, had looked in very good touch and was generous enough to walk when he got a very fine snick to a full delivery.

Ouch - Malcolm bowls a beauty and Regis takes the catch...

Hopes were high over the tea break that a couple more breakthroughs might result in a collapse similar to our own. Such hope seemed justified when Beacham took out the opposition captain to leave the Musicians on 80-4.

Gordon and Williams then took up the attack as the openers tired. Both bowled good spells but didn’t really receive just rewards. Williams, in particular, looked to have the measure of a number of batsmen, only to be denied by the narrowest of margins. Seaton finally showed that Geoffrey Boycott’s old phrase about wickets coming in pairs is true, snaffling two good wickets in quick succession. 127 for 6.

Seaton celebnrates a first NTMCC wicket... Swanny taking another catch (seems like the sunglasses are fine for keeping)

The captain toyed with a number of options at this point. Bring back the openers? Bring on himself? Bring on... Jobbers? No, no, don’t do that. Where’s The Terror when you need him? Where’s The Beckmanator when you need him? Where are all of our new recruits? G’ah, I’ll just bring back Beacham then.

So Beacham and Malcolm rallied themselves for one last assault, backed by a somewhat dwindling target and some obdurate lower order batting from the Musicians. Tempers frayed as Malcolm’s bouncer-rib tickler-bouncer routine was played out repeatedly. The run rate slowed to a crawl, building the tension still further.

Malcolm took two wickets to leave the Musicians needing just six runs with two wickets remaining. In a tight finish, the Musicians quite justifiably rode their luck and just made it over the line after fine batting from Murton Laight (6 off 25 balls).

Summing up, it was a great first outing of the season. Of course we were a little disappointed not to have won. Obviously, we were disadvantaged by the lack of an 11th man for batting (to which no guilt should be attached to Lincoln Hall, who we were delighted to have along to field for us after our man failed to show). We had a quite stunning batting collapse (again, no one in particular to blame, we just all got out rather too quickly). We also lacked a little depth in the bowling department – there were literally three frontline bowlers in Seaton, Olly and Dave. We look forward keenly to the return of Messrs Sharp, Tomlinson, Bartle, Beckman and Mostofi and the debuts of Messrs Housden and Bilson in that regard.

To dwell briefly on the positives, it was a truly outstanding opening contribution from both Hamer and James. Particular note should be made of the fact that Boot now has scores of 50+ in his last four innings for NTMCC. Great start for Olly this season too – getting some of the breaks that he didn’t get at the start of last season. Very tidy glovework from Swanny too - minimum of fuss in some tricky conditions and held everything that came his way. Special mention to The Dolphin, who stood firm (albeit briefly) in the face of things falling apart around him. And also to Lincoln for coming along to field (very well, it might be said) – we hope to have you back in the side in future games.

By the way, check out the Twitter feed for future reference! See http://twitter.com/notthemcc...

Anyway, here are your points:

Fantasy League Points

Williams: 42

Boot: 56

Regis: -5

Muttukumaru: 27

Jobling: 9

Gordon: 30

Swanston: 5

Critchley: 1

Beacham: 30

Malcolm: 85

Hall: 0

Club Man Points

Williams: 1 (umpiring)

Boot: 1.5 (scoring, making teas!)

Regis: 1 (sympathy point after getting a dubious lbw decision)

Jobling: 4 (excellent teas +5 which were complimented by opposition, -1 for showing off with teas and upstaging captain)

Gordon: 1 (umpiring)

Swanston: 1 (scoring)

Critchley: 0

Beacham: 1 (scoring)

Malcolm: -1 (mixed umpiring performance, though refusal to give skipper out was noted/appreciated)

Hall: 5 (last minute call-up, cat-like fielding, general enthusiasm)

Supporters Points

S Watson: 2 (attending 1 innings)

C Lees: 2 (attending post-match drinks)

S Farrington -1 (where were you?)