Player Profile: Chris Martin

Profile by Abteen Mostofi and James Williams

Our Persian correspondent writes:

"With express pace in excess of 85 mph and hard-hitting strokeplay Chris Cairns would be envious of, Chris 'Gutbarger' Mar(t)in would surely be gunning for Freddie Flintoff's place as the England side's premier all-rounder were it not for the fact that his would-be England team mates are predominantly Labour voters. The ECB's loss, however, means that both NTMCC and Hindhead CC (I'Anson League Division 1, no less) can profit from Chris's availability.

Chris was a key player for the CCC(CC)C between 1998 and 2004 both sportingly and financially, having bankrolled the club with his fines. With his 2 yard saunter to the crease, many an opposition batsman has been fooled into expecting loopy left arm spin. After one ball, most recognise their mistake while others don't even realise the ball has been bowled, such is the blistering pace unleashed by his shoulder (assuming it's still in the shoulder socket at the time - N.B. this is not always the case).

With a fearless approach to batting, Chris has been a heavy-scoring middle order batsman for Christ's, routinely plundering such ferocious bowling attacks as Woozlers CC and Hughes Hall II.

Having led the Christ's University Challenge team to the semi-finals of the competition, he contributes in the field with a wise head, sharp reflexes (injury permitting) and intimidation of the batsmen with knowledge of obscure trivia. Whether or not Myleene Klass is still as impressed now as she was then remains a mystery."