Review of Paragraph
When we evaluate a paragraph, we evaluate its focus, unity, completeness, and coherence:
focused--The paragraph has a single point. The point is limited and argumentative. By “limited,” we mean the paragraph contains a point that can be proved/supported/developed within a paragraph. By “argumentative,” we mean the paragraph has a point which is not a statement of fact, but a statement of opinion.
unified-- All details in the paragraph relate to the point of the paragraph.
complete--A paragraph contains sufficient detail to prove/support/develop the point.
coherent-- The details in the paragraph are organized in a way that makes sense to the reader and supports the point. The organization is suggested by transitional words or phrases and by the logic of the detail. Methods of organization include: chronological, spatial, sequential and logical--cause/effect; general to specific; specific to general; order of importance.
Below is a paragraph on Billy Elliot which incorporate all the elements of a good paragraph.
In the film Billy Elliot, Billy faces a serious conflict within his own family; in order for his dream to be fulfilled, he has to confront the people he loves the most. Billy’s brother Tony has followed his father into the mines and sees no reason why Billy shouldn’t as well. He is also concerned that Billy’s unconventional behavior may reflect on his own masculinity in a world with clearly defined male/female expectations. Billy has to go behind his father’s back to take dance lessons; he takes the money each week to take ballet instead of boxing. Billy knows his father would never accept his desire to dance, but would see him only as “a disgrace to [his]father, a disgrace to those gloves, and a disgrace to the tradition of the boxing club.” Billy’s conflict is symbolized in the scene where he is forced to stand on the table in the kitchen while his father, his brother, and his dance teacher argue about his dancing. Billy stands there powerless to do anything, to speak, to fight back, or to move outside the boundaries of the small world he lives in. The resolution of the conflict comes within the family as his father recognizes his son’s talent. He sacrifices his pride to help him by crossing the picket lines to work at the mines and by supporting Billy’s audition at the ballet school. His brother comes to accept and love Billy for what he can do and the love he wants to have, and Billy is able to fulfill his dream of dancing.