Sew…?
*Click, click, click.* Goes the sewing machine as I sit in my grandma’s living room. She has started another one of her many projects and like always, I’m just watching. I’ve always envied my grandma and the way she can take a pattern or an idea of her own and turn it into a work of art. To me, sewing allows you to be free with your mind and artistic abilities. There is no wrong way to create something you like, at least not in my eyes.
I became interested in sewing when I was about seven or eight because the sound that the sewing machine made was so relaxing. The feel of the fabric when I ran it through my hands was like a drug. It gave me a euphoric high, and that’s why I wanted to learn to sew. But I never had the courage to actually pick up the needle and ask someone to teach me how to sew, or even learn on my own. I didn’t want to try to make a bag or a pillow and it didn’t come out the way I expected or the way it should look. I was afraid of the mistakes I would make. I wanted my first project to be perfect. My need for perfection has held me back in many ways. Sometimes I try so hard to be perfect that I even erase letters when I am writing because they just don’t look right, or they don’t fit in with the rest of the word. It’s something I have been trying to fight for a long time, because everyone is not perfect. I always tell my friend that they can’t let things, such as perfection get in the way of things, but now that I think a
bout it I am just contradicting myself. Perfectionism is the key to self-destruction.
About a year ago my mom bought me my first Singer sewing machine. It has about 64 different stitches, but I have yet to learn how to use them. The machine has mostly been sitting under its dust ruffle on my desk since I got it. The most I have done on it is, fix the pocket on my mom’s work pants, but I didn’t do much of a good job.
Learning to sew is not an easy task. Well not the way my mom and grandma make it seem. You have to be able to guide the fabric on a straight path. I can’t even keep myself on a straight path, so who knows if I’ll be able to guide a piece of fabric.
I have many projects that I want to do on my sewing machine. There was this messenger bag that I wanted to make for my first project. So together, my mom and I went to Jo-Ann fabrics picking out the perfect fabric and lining. It took us about an hour to get everything we needed. But I soon realized that I took on more than I can handle. The project just never made it to the sewing process, just a whole bunch of cutting and tracing. And just like my machine, the fabric just sits there and is a constant reminder of what I have not completed.
I want to be able to make things and give them to people so that I can see them smile. Like when you give a baby a new fuzzy and soft blanket, or when your mom opens her sweater you made her for mother’s day. I want to be able to take my love and kindness and sew it into things, so that I can share it with people no matter where I am. But who knows, learning to sew just might become one of those forgotten things, just like my sewing machine.