Embedded Files
SEP 1886 - FEB 1887
AT RATHMULLAN
6 September - Monday
HMS Shannon. Rathmullan
It is with a sad and heavy heart that I take up my pen to write once more in this book. I hardly know how to commence. The saddest event in my life, excepting that which took place June 29 1875 when I lost my sainted Mother, occurred on July 29th 1886 1 am, at which time my Father left me and us all. My heart has been terribly wrung, for my father, brother and friend has gone, and I am left alone of the elder ones. The head of the family, to do the comforter to others, with a leaden heart. At times a feeling of despair seizes me, as I look back at the heart wrenches I have undergone and still feel the wounds, so much, I sometimes long for a less sensitive heart, it is so terrible. I feel the utter helplessness of mourning. Is this not God’s Hand to make me draw close to Him, to lean more on my Saviour, in fact altogether in Him, but I feel chastened and pray I may say from my heart “It is good for me that I have been afflicted.”
On Tuesday July 20th the Fleet in Stokes Bay, preparatory to the Naval Review.
Wednesday morning I received urgent letter to come to town at once as my father was lying ill at Rawlings Hotel, Jermyn Street. Bertie and I after obtaining leave hastened up and I found my father lying ill from stoppage in the neck of the bladder. Poor dear fellow, he had always dreaded something was the matter with his bladder, but feared to consult a doctor.
Thursday, Dr Edmunds with Sir H. Thompson’s approval, tapped him below the navel, and drew off such foul stuff from his bladder (if he had not tapped him, he would have died from blood poisoning). It gave him much relief, he was dosed with quinine, which brought his bladder into a healthy sate. He went on very well, though of course not out of danger until Wednesday, the 28th.
I had been down to Berkshire and arranged about Baldie going down to read with a clergyman and on my return I told Father, who was so pleased and said, “Thank God, I feel so happy”, and he said it several times, and said, “George has done so well.”
I kissed the dear old man about 7 pm and then said, “Goodnight”, and went out to Eaton Place to tell Baldie, returned to my lodgings and turned in at 1.30.
Woke up by Rainer to tell me my Father was dead, rushed over to Hotel and found him gone, but still warm, kissed him, with a broken heart, and prepared to comfort others. At 1 am he had asked Nurse Joseph for a drink of lime juice, who gave it to him, and shortly afterwards, she heard him breathing very stertorously, eyes fixed and teeth clenched. She asked him “What is the matter Sir William?”, twice he replied, “I don’t know”, and closed his eyes and passed quietly away.
A fine and noble and unselfish man, with a heart very tender and compassionate and a boyish nature and above all, a humble follower of the Lord. I sat with my step-Mother until 6 am, and then went to George Gilbard, asked him to break the news to dear E.D., and I went on to Eaton Place and broke it to Ella and Baldie. Sad doing it to Francie. It was a sad scene though engraved on one’s mind. I had at once to arrange about everything, funeral, settling E.D., Ella and Baldie, and all money matters. I asked God to give me strength and He did, and I humbly thank Him.
Saturday went down with dear E.D. and my step-Mother, poor thing, to The Elms.
On Monday Bertie brought the Hearse and Coffin down and rest of the family came down. Ed Grogan from Liverpool.
The funeral took place at 2 pm and though kept quite quiet many came from far and near. Many wreaths were sent. Colonel Sandys, Lady Belper, Hylda Paget, etc. and the Band of Hope children brought one. The Prince of Wales sent a sympathetic telegram.
I felt much relieved when this sad day was over, I found it very trying, arranging about the funeral and especially at the grave, witnessing the grief of the two girls. I felt myself quite stunned in the Church. It has been so sudden and unexpected, and it has left such a blank. During this sad time I had to be arranging about where Edie and Baldie were to live and also Ella, and Bertie being home was of great assistance to me.
Edie and Baldie, I located at the Reverend Elton Lee. Padworth Rectory, twelve miles from Reading, where I think they will find a comfortable home, Mrs Lee being very nice and kind, the place a pretty place. Ella stays at home more or less with our step-Mother. These arrangements suit her.
Of course my father’s death has broken up the home. A few days after the funeral, E.D. and Baldie went to the Lees, and during the month of August I was very busy arranging about legal affairs, Coffee House etc. I ran down to Folkestone for a few days to see Francie and for a change. Mother and Ella coming also for a day or two, and staying at The Pavilion.
The beginning of the month, September, having finished my business, I started for my ship, staying at Brewood for a couple of days and making the acquaintance of the Vaughans, Giffards, and Wrottesleys. Chillington with its sixty acres of lake etc. is certainly a very fine place.
On the 4th instant I rejoined my ship, found the Admiral here in Hawk and Captain away, visiting.
8 September - Wednesday
Admiral, his friends Captain Inglis and Mr Kennedy dined with me in Mess. Found Captain Inglis knew Mother well and also old Tillotson, (who had no xxx) He stayed at Whatton and told me he knew Mrs Barker, a horrid mischief maker.
Yesterday, the 9th, Admiral inspected ship, blowing hard. He found everything satisfactory, and was much pleased, (He told Hazell on shore that the Shannon was the best of the Rescue Squadron). I told Admiral, Evans deserved the praise as I had been away six weeks, and also recommended Galloway the Gunnery Lieutenant for his zeal etc. The Admiral spoke to him.
10 September - Friday
Admiral left. I miss Sweetnam our late Staff surgeon and fear my old messmate Wood who has succeeded him is of the Lushington family. Feel lonely at times, miss writing to my father very much. Wish I was married.
12 September - Sunday
Feel very lonesome and sad, and sometimes long to be at rest. I long for some sympathising friend, or wife. Will it ever be? I must be content and leave all to my God; oh! I do know my heart is so hard and ungrateful, and I have my Lord to go to for comfort and consolation. I pray for help and comfort and to trust Thee.
13 September - Monday
Saturday afternoon, received a telegram from Admiral Baird to get out Torpedo Nets on Monday and not to make any preparation. So this morning at 6.45 I commenced work; wind East, force two, raining, sea smooth. In an hour and seventeen minutes I had all Booms, but one rigged and in place, seventeen minutes later, all were ready, another hour and three minutes all nets laced on and twenty-three minutes later laced together: Total time three hours seven minutes.
Just as I finished, I received a telegram from Admiral telling me to wait for better weather. Enabled to wire back, “Nets all on, Men worked very well and with zeal, and officers also.” Was much pleased, as Admiral did not think we could put them on in six hours.
16 September - Thursday
On Tuesday drove out to Colonel Mansfield’s on the Mail Car, fourteen miles and dined and slept there, meeting Major and Mrs Hamilton. Found Mrs Willoughby and Mrs Reid were cousins of his. Colonel Mansfield had some trouble with his tenants who owed three years rent. He put Emergency men in and ultimately got half his arrears and promise of the other half with five per cent. interest, and £50.0.0 to pay for Emergency Men. Drove in on Wednesday with the whole party, who went to lawn tennis party at the Batts. Brought the two young Miss Mansfields, May and Emmy, on board to lunch, nice little girls.
Heard from my step-Mother, who thinks C. Cory likes Lel. I trust that if she likes him, it may come off, as he is very well off and then if married, Lel’s money could go to E.D.
Rob’s letter to dear old father arrived.
Spoke most seriously to Dr Wood last night, about his taking chloral and so much wine, he melted into tears and asked me not to break him, as he has a wife and two children. It would be dreadful I know, but I must do my duty as I told him, if he does not amend his ways.
17 September - Friday
Much bother, my step-Mother feeling hurt about some of Coffee House rules, which she certainly saw before I left, however, I think I have smoothed over matters. E.D. dear girl wanting to go to Germany. Lel, poor child, feels the want of sympathetic love in Mother, and I’m bothered about Dr Wood, a Memo came from Admiral about his wine bill. Dr Wood quite prostrated.
Dr Lang[r]an and myself fear he has softness of brain coming on, so I stopped his wine bill and chloral and put him into list. To-night a telegram came appointing him to Resistance, but I do not feel justified in letting him go, so have decided to pack him off to Haslar tomorrow morning in charge of Sergeant Major, and then telegraph to Admiralty, thus, I hope, saving him, as he has a wife and two children, with all this bother.
Our Christys are going on, a crowd of visitors on board, and I writing long letters and getting Wood off. I pray most earnestly I may look above to God for guidance.
18 September - Saturday
Packed Dr Wood off to Haslar this morning in charge of the Sergeant Major. Hear we have another mauvais surgeon appointed in his place. At dinner some running him down, had to speak and say it was not right to run down a coming Messmate. Spent the afternoon with the Georges.
Bertie appointed Gunnery Lieutenant of the Canada, recommissioned on the North American Station. He will like this.
At lunch today Dr Ormonde told me that Stewart of Horn Head saw a letter in Wolseley’s hand writing, stating that if Home Rule was given to Ireland and civil war had broken out, he was going to resign his commission and lead the loyalists.
God’s Mercies to us all.
Last year appointed to this ship, disliked it very much, anxious to go to sea. Bertie also appointed to Penelope much against his wish. Cruise takes place a little earlier this year we return earlier, Bertie and I enabled to go to London, a few days after my father’s illness, and I am enabled to remain with him until his death, and being in England, settle up all his affairs, and the family, Kennedy the other executor being on South American Station. Then again about E.D. and Baldie. Darby-Griffith dining with Francie, who happens to mention about Baldie going into Church, Darby-Griffith at once says, “Mr Lees who holds a living of mine is the man for him to read with.” I go down on Wednesday, settle about Baldie, return and tell my dear Father, which makes him happy, saying several times “Thank God” and “George has done so well”, the last words he said to me. On Saturday, Bertie goes down to the Lees and arranges about E.D. living there too. Ella remaining at home. Friends of my father in the Admiralty ready to help me.
Bertie now appointed to the Canada.
20 September - Monday
Edmunds returned £10.10.0; am very thankful.
Played lawn tennis at Caraleena, which place is rented by the Sands. Colonel and Mrs Mansfield there. Heard an amusing story with regard to the Miss Groves, on the occasion of the dance at Rathmullan House last week. About 3 am their carriage came to the door, and butler opened door of carriage and after taking out some wraps, closed it again, coachee heard the door shut, and thinking his party were in, drove off and did not stop until he arrived home some twelve to thirteen miles off. The Miss Groves were disconsolate, Eddy Mansfield offered to drive them home (he has known them all his life and they are not very prepossessing and of a certain age). They refused as “It would not be proper.” Eventually they got a car from village.
Disgusted this evening at hearing one or two of my Messmates running down people who have done their best to entertain them. It shows very bad breeding.
21 September - Tuesday
Dr Donnelly, Wesleyan Minister from Derry, came on board. Had a chat with him, he knew of dear father by name, and asked to have a little prayer, which we had, and I thanked him. Suffering from a cold. Commenced reading Father’s Memoirs.
22 September - Wednesday
Our dance was most successful. The ship looked very pretty and many people came. Day all that to be desired. I helped to receive the guests and then retired to my cabin until it was all over. I was much amused at hearing a very excited conversation going on between Mr Colquhoun and three of his very pretty talkative nieces, the Misses Jackson, who wished to stay later and not go by the steamer that left at 7 pm. “Uncle Tom, it is very unkind of you”, and one was overheard saying to a cousin, a son of Uncle Tom’s “Well, if Cousin Dick was here, he would keep us.” Uncle Tom carried his point and marched them off, though they tried to miss the boat.
23 September - Thursday
Called on the Beresfords, and dined quietly with Mrs Knowles to meet Mr and Mrs Martin, the former the Fleet Paymaster of District. He had just been round the West Coast and told me there was a good deal of distress, poultry could be had at Belmullet for 4d, Butter 5d a lb. Turkeys 7d. each, of course require fattening, but the people could not sell and means of sending away is nil.
Mrs Martin was out at Malta during the Scott-Stevenson row, and was standing next to Mrs Cooper when Esme made that foolish remark. Mrs Martin had to attend a public apology, and poor Meta of course had to stick to Esme. Mrs Martin said she liked dear Meta very much and regretted very much the break in their friendship.
29 September - Wednesday
I must go back a few days. On Saturday last I left the ship soon after 8 o’clock, caught the 8.30 steamer and I got to Londonderry about 10 o’clock. Took the 10.30 train on to Carrickmacross, travelling as far as Strabane with Major Hamilton. I got to Inniskeen at 3.30 pm, very hungry, having had only a basin of very hot dirty soup at Enniskillen, and remained an hour at Inniskeen, a small station.
I employed my time usefully chatting with two individuals, who evidently had something to do with the Bank, and also with evictions, for they gave me a mass of information. From them I gather there will be much distress this winter, the potato crop only yielding half what it did last year and altogether they gave a very gloomy account of the state of affairs.
At 5 pm I arrived at Carrickmacross and found Mrs Shirley’s pony carriage and pair waiting for me. Drove out to Lough Fea, certainly one of the finest parks and places in Ireland and beautifully kept. Got in time for 5 o’clock tea and found Mrs Shirley in, and as charming as usual.
Renewed my acquaintance with Mrs Shirley’s father, Colonel Macdonald of St Martin’s Perthshire. He has lately married again and has come over with his step-daughter, Miss Ross, to pay a visit. Alice Macdonald, I am sorry to say, is laid up with erysipelas and confined to her room.
The house is quite a baronial mansion, most substantially and beautifully built. Possesses a gem of a chapel and a magnificent baronial hall, the room being, I suppose 100 to 120 feet long, and very well proportioned.
The Shirleys, the head of which is Lord Ferrers, are a very old family, this branch is a cadet branch, but hold Eatington in Warwickshire, which has been in the family possession before the Conquest. Shirley was MP for Monaghan, the space of twelve years, but got kicked out by a Home Ruler. He is a very nice quiet fellow, a good landlord and what pleased me was to see him read prayers every morning in the chapel at 10 o’clock. All the large household attending.
Sunday, we all had Holy communion at Church at Carrickmacross, Monday the Colonel and I went for a walk round the Outer Chase through most lovely walks and glens, the Park is about 1,000 acres, Lough Fea about 100 acres in extent.
Colonel made a faux-pas at breakfast, he began to talk about nicknames and then spoke of Edward Grogan, in by no means a very complimentary manner. Poor Mrs Shirley was on pins and got quite red. I smiled and easily turned the conversation. After breakfast in the corridor where we smoked, the Colonel apologised to me for having spoken of Edward Grogan, and said he had forgotten he was my bother-in-law. He said he was very fond of dear Meta (there is or was a bitter feud between Colonel Macdonald and Edward Grogan).
In the afternoon we played tennis, and then I went down with Shirley and the Colonel to shoot pigeons. Shirley shot two, wood too thick yet, could not see them. After dinner Mrs Shirley showed me a pretty photo of one of her Brownlow cousins, very like Ida Willoughby. Mrs Shirley had a chat with me, she dreads going over to St Martin’s, and I do not wonder at it. Her sister Alice, she does not think can live there now. Curiously Miss Ross talked to me and said she found it so hard getting on with the ladies of the family.
There is no doubt that second marriages make a total change in the family. The Shirleys anxious I should pay them another visit later on. I certainly shall if I can get away. Exchanged photos. On Tuesday, I left having enjoyed most thoroughly my short visit and got on board the ship last night at 6 pm
Today. Bertie sails today in the Himalaya; shall miss him very much.
Received a letter sent by Sir Henry Loch, Governor of Victoria, to father. Robbie having been to him in great distress, his wife refusing to live with him, saying she did not care for him. Robbie wanting to come home not knowing of the sad changes that have taken place and wanting Sir Henry to cash a Bill for him, he rightly refused, but offered to give him assistance.
I’ve written Sir Henry and enclosed £5.0.0 and authorized him to give £5.0.0 more, and also written Robbie telling him not to come home. What will be the end of it all? Feel depressed at times. Wish I had a home of my own. Is this not selfishness?
2 October - Saturday
Heard on Thursday from Mrs Shirley, thanking me for my photo, and saying how much she had enjoyed my visit, having unknowingly been of great help to her.
Had some ladies off to tea this afternoon. Mrs Knowles, Mrs George, Mrs and Mr Waller and Beresford. Beresford also coming off. The latter I took all over the ship, and he is the nicest person in these parts.
3 October - Sunday
A large party came off to Church and lunch, about eight staying to lunch, Mrs Duthie, Miss Bate and Miss Doyne, and Miss Peel, and some men. The last two young ladies are suspected of having come off, without any invitation. I must say I do not like people coming off to Church. Communion after Service, only myself amongst the men and officers took it.
Had 5 o’clock tea, at Drumalla, Mrs George having asked me to come, met the Beresfords there, and walked back with Beresford. Got wet through.
5 October - Tuesday
Last night had a budget of letters. A long one from Robbie, written from Colombo, expected to arrive at Plymouth in P & O Kaisar-i-Hind on the 8th instant. Poor fellow, he had some painful interviews with his wife, who refused to live with him, in consequence of his wild life before he married, so he writes. But she promises to come to England, if he makes a home for her, so he has come home.
Sir Henry Loch paying his passage for him and writing dear father about it. Robbie wants to borrow £50.0.0 from me, which I cannot lend, but have sent him £11.0.0 and given him some clothes etc at Cootes. Written to him to encourage him to press on, and also explained everything to him.
Remitted from Estate £25.0.0 to Sir Henry Loch’s bankers.
Heard from Mother and Lel who are going to Mentone for six weeks the end of this month, in company with Will Keene and his wife.
Francie and Ted came to Lough Fea on the 1st November for a week. Cannot get away myself as we leave for Bantry that day.
Felt very depressed last night, fearing 1874 over again and yet fear I shall have poor Robbie on my hands. Wished I had a home of my own. I do miss my dear old father so very much, but I am thankful he is free from trouble.
6 October - Wednesday
Last night an agonizing letter from Francie, re Robbie. Not knowing what to do, have written Rob again, telling him he must not hang about London and if he goes abroad, failing his being employed in London, Francie and I will assist him.
Captain Knowles and Mrs Knowles tea’d or rather had 4 o’clock coffee with me yesterday.
This afternoon Farrow (our Pay) having gone up to Londonderry in the morning returned at twelve o’clock escorting a nice looking dame (an old acquaintance, I believe) called Mrs P. She had obtained a divorce from her husband.
I sent the whaler in for them, and was much amused to see how she quite had a good grip of our Messmate. He took the lady to my cabin preparatory to giving her lunch, and on his entering the W.R. was saluted with cries of “I suppose it is all right”, and “When is it to be?” He smilingly repudiated the insinuation, however I can see he is well hooked. I took her round the ship after she had lunch, and at 3 pm they both went away, he on forty-eight hours leave, she to Portrush. I expect he is not far from her.
Later on I went ashore to call on Mrs Smyth, who gave me £2.0.0 for Holmes’ widow. I had called two days ago to thank her for having answered my appeal so generously, but she was not well, and then she wrote me to come to tea.
So off I started at 4.30 to make the acquaintance of the widow, who does not go out at all. I was ushered into the sitting room, and on hearing her coming down the stairs, I placed myself in a good position for observing her, back to the window.
In she came and sat facing the light, so I had a good opportunity of taking her measure. She is not a lady, I could see that. I rather suspect she has a little trouble with the H from the measured way she spoke. I should think her husband had been a retired tradesmen, who had done very well and I expect she is generous which is the main thing.
I found my stratagem of sitting back to the window soon gave me the sniffles and as the window behind the blind was open, so I had to shift and expose my countenance to the light, so I daresay she studied my visage and I trust was satisfied at the end of three quarters of an hour’s chatting. I rose to take my departure, in doing so, she said, I must send you an invitation to come and dine quietly with us (she has a niece with her). I was equal to the occasion, not fancying the idea of getting too thick with the widow, and I wriggled out of it somehow, promising to come to tea again.
No, I did not see a joke of getting thick with a widow of £1000 a year.
8 October - Friday
A large budget of letters from Francie, Ella, Baldie, and Holbech. Francie looking forward with anything but joy to introducing Robbie to Ted.
Went out to the Sands this afternoon, lawn-tennis handicap going on. Walking round the grounds with Miss Kathleen, we came on a blue-jacket and young Mansell laying down snares. They immediately made tracks, but one of their dogs getting caught they had to stop and release it. We overtook them and I pitched into them. Williams an A.B. got quite pale with fright, as I thundered out the penalties for trespassing and threatened to report it all to Mr Beresford the R.M.. After dressing them down, we let them go and they soon disappeared. Wrote to Lord Charles Beresford about Moon, trust I shall succeed.
Been reading my dear Father’s journal. If it was possible my love and respect for him would magnify itself ten times, and what a Mother I had. My heart still bleeds at the memory of what I lost on the 29th June 1875 and my father. I dare not yet dwell on my loss on 29 July last. May I follow Thine Example. I long for more earnestness and to be of real use: less selfish for I am selfish and love my ease: though the outside world - which cannot read the heart - would perhaps not say so.
11 October - Monday
Yesterday took a walk over the Mountains by myself. Got into an interesting talk with an old fisherman, who complained most bitterly of the Trawlers, doing much damage to the spawning beds, and said he, “supposing a farmer after sewing his seed, goes hauling a harrow all over the field, how can he expect to get anything to grow up unless he gives it root.” I thought there was much to be said for his view of the case.
I resisted the temptation yesterday to call at Drumalla, thinking Miss Mansfield was a charming girl with not a penny, madness to fall in love with her.
This morning Captain showed me a private letter from Admiral, saying we were to drill at General Qtrs, four times a week, and get Nets out once a fortnight, as there was every chance of our being at War with one or more Powers very shortly. This letter was marked Private, and Captain has not told Mrs Knowles even. Quite right too, for a woman cannot keep anything in.
Wrote to Perry, telling him some foolish people are getting up a memorial for us to stay here during the winter and telling Perry we should be at Bantry now, as our drills etc. are quite stopped by weather. It is out of the question, spreading Winter Awnings here as some fine day I should find the ship sailing down the Lough, tides are so strong, and holding ground not good.
Robbie has been at Cootes and got his gear I sent him and I conclude also the money I sent. I suppose he will acknowledge it by and by.
13 October - Wednesday
Lunched at Drumalla, Nepean in company. Miss Mansfield there. She told us another story with regard to the Groves, that on one occasion they were driving in a closed carriage and two maids on the back seat. That the back seat came off, depositing them on to the road some miles from home. Carriage went on and on arrival was put up, no one noticing the want of the back seat and that during the night the maids turned up, much shaken.
After luncheon went nutting and then played lawn tennis between heavy showers on a mild kind of bog.
14 October - Thursday
Played lawn tennis at the Village Court, then to tea at Miss Mary Batt, meeting Miss Mansfield, a nice charming girl well brought up and good looking.
Heard from Robbie and Ella, the latter going down to Berkshire to see E.D. and Baldie.
Perry wrote me that he had shown my letter to the Admiral as he thought it contained so much information. So I promptly wrote another, giving details of our Night Attacks, which we do every night, weather permitting, from 8 to 8.30 pm.
15 October - Friday
Blowing very hard. This evening have been writing to Mrs Shaw about my dear father. It has made me very melancholy. Tis not safe yet for me to think much of his having gone, I could not stand it: my eyes run with tears, my heart is lead, and I feel in despair, but God I do pray most earnestly for resignation and comfort, for I feel so lonely.
Been busy this afternoon sending Ted a detailed account of how I have invested and apportioned money amongst the three dear ones.
16 October - Saturday
Received a letter this morning from my step-Mother, most decidedly objecting to have anything more to do with Edie or Baldie, and this after all she had promised my loved father. I felt low after reading her letter, but am thankful I’ve got over it. I should much like to marry, and make a home, and mean D.V, to endeavour to do so. God overrules everything and I know I can leave all in His loving Hands. So be at rest my anxious soul.
17 October - Sunday
Did not derive much profit from this morning’s service. The performance of it seems so hollow, and to me lacks spirituality. Vaughan being quite content to do no more than what he is obliged to do.
Landed this afternoon for a walk, went out as far as Caraleena with Nepean and Chown, and then called on Beresford. Took a tramp over hills with him, and we fetched up at Drumalla. Had 5 o’clock tea there.
Wish I had some money, should go in for Miss Mansfield. I find it hard to keep away from her, as I like her companionship. She seems so well brought up and such a nice girl.
On board at 6 pm. At dinner, Farrow, evidently meaning an attack for me, launched out about Tom Bate, etc. He is a foolish fellow.
18 October - Monday
A long letter from Francie. Evidently there are strained relations between her and Lady Hall. If all Francie says is true, Lady Hall has gone down very much in my opinion, but I can hardly credit she is thinking of Colonel S. M.P., though I know she could and did not appreciate my loved father. Francie thinks she wishes to break with Lel.
I have written urging a conciliatory course on our side, let the break, if it comes, proceed from her.
Got Boom and Nets out this day.
Mrs Batt and Miss Mansfield came off to see them.
Had a speak to Farrow about his taking a Boat. I told him to wait for Postman. He understood Mail was one hour late.
Heard from Kennedy. Wrote long letters all round, occupied some hours.
20 October - Wednesday
Had a good night attack this evening from 8 to 9 pm, firing twenty pdrs and working Machine Guns and Twelve Tenners. The men are getting more expert at using lights and more steady at their guns.
21 October - Thursday
Trafalgar Day, not much remembered.
This evening had a good practice at night attack, firing twenty pdrs and working machine guns. Thorne, and Joey [?], and Valentine, Lieutenant, had a narrow escape from having their heads blown off, through vent of a twenty Pdr not being screwed up properly. Valentine was blown back and the Marine had all his hair singed and coat burned. He very nearly got severely burned.
During the forenoon, I was at Director and fired a Whitehead adjusted for ten feet, but it evidently went only three as it struck Stbd Pinnace Keel, splitting it. Did not damage itself.
23 October - Saturday
Dined last night at Drumalla (Georges) (Bristol address is W.E. George, Downside, Stoke Bishop, Bristol). Took Miss Mansfield into dinner, a very pleasant diner party. Promised to send Miss Mansfield, Oleana.
She wanted me to come out to Castle Wray on Monday, but I said I should be too busy, besides which I did not think it would be right to do so, she is a very nice girl and well brought up.
24 October - Sunday
Received many letters last night, one from Lady Hall, which jarred on me very much, by being full of her visits, relations and grandeur, and saying the Fridays prevented her paying them before, Friday being my dear Father’s board day. She is a most curious woman, easily influenced by some, jealous, inclined to be spiteful, a good hater, not truthful, yet has a kind heart towards dumb creatures. She is very touchy, very gauche, and not of a very delicate nature, yet can and does kind actions and as far as her nature permits, appreciates kind attentions.
I think she and Ella will not keep together long.
Dear old Father, he was not appreciated by her at his worth, and he never thought she would go back on her promised word as she has done.
l drove with Valentine yesterday to Lough Fern 10 miles out. Fished for six hours got nothing and drove back, very cold.
Lloyd preached this morning. I liked the first five minutes of his sermon only, where he preached Christ.
After lunch, I landed and took a long walk over the hills and had five o’clock tea with the Georges. Miss Sands walked with me.
On Tuesday we go to Milford and disembarked Captain Nepean, Lieutenant Chown and twenty odd marines. They wish to stay in ship.
26 October - Tuesday
Last night had a dinner party on board. Dr Loughnan, Mrs Batt and Captain being Mess guests. Made a little speech thanking Captain for his present of Mess Hammer. He returned thanks. I was much annoyed at finding several of the fellows had asked private guests without saying anything to the Committee about it. If I had known this I should have asked George. I was much put out and told the fellows so, and that I did not intend to allow any gambling after dinner and drinking.
Most of the fellows went down to the Mess and had a Sing Song. At 11.30 I cleared everyone out of the ship, poor Mrs Batt, seventy years of age, had to be helped down.
Gave Barton a rub down for absenting himself from the Mess, without saying anything to me about it.
DEPART LOUGH SWILLY
27 October - Wednesday
Steaming quietly down Irish Channel to Milford which we shall reach tomorrow morning, where on Saturday we lose Nepean and Chown, Captain and Lieutenant of Marines and eighteen men, all anxious to have stayed, which shows they like the ship.
I believe our first Lieutenant Evans is engaged to Miss K. Sands, and there is no doubt Farrow is going to get spliced very soon. I long to have some one I can pour my love and affection on. I feel if I had. I could do anything for such a one and please God some day I may have the pleasure of finding someone to devote my life for her happiness.
ARRIVE MILFORD HAVEN
28 October - Thursday
Coaling up to 10.30 pm by aid of Electric Light. Had a row with Galloway as I thought he looked and walked sulkily about upon my telling him to assist in coaling. I think he most certainly was, but I was hasty, so I made all right with him later on.
29 October - Friday
Our two new Marines Officers came this morning, in the middle of coaling, packed them off again, they being nothing loth to go.
30 October - Saturday
I think a split has taken place at last between Lady Hall and Ella. The former forgets that Ella is not obliged to live with her and certainly does not care about it. But she treats Lel as if she was dependent on her and had no spirit and also that though Lady Hall shews Lel she does not care to consult Lel’s comfort or convenience, she expects Lel to say and do nothing.
But it is preposterous. Lady Hall saying Lel may live with her and then putting every obstacle in her way and not shewing any affection. I do not wonder Ella writes saying that as Lady Hall puts off her visit to Mentone from time to time, also saying she may not go, she Ella must give up thoughts of going and will go on her promised visits.
31 October - Sunday
Afflicted with a terrible cold in the head. Ella’s letter was not forwarded after all, so hope things may turn out all right. Blackburne arrived this morning and takes over ship tomorrow. Heard from Buz who is doing very well.
2 November - Tuesday
Yesterday Captain Blackburne joined us and in company with Captain Knowles lunched with us. I made a speech proposing Knowles’ health. He was much affected, in returning thanks.
At 4 pm we saw him out of the ship, the men manning the rigging and clapping most heartily, POs lining the Gangway, with the Officers.
At dinner I had to make another farewell speech to Nepean and Chown who left us this morning, and did not find it so difficult doing so as I did that of my late Captain, the New Captain being alongside of me.
Captain Blackburne on being introduced to me said, “I know you very well by name and the Admiralty told me about you. Don’t be conceited.”
I have so much to be thankful for, but know I am most forgetful and thankless.
We are now waiting for a cask of Sherry that belongs to the Captain, but has not yet turned up.
3 November - Wednesday
Blowing hard from SW. Steam Pinnace and Gig stove in. Captain’s cask of Sherry not arriving yesterday, has delayed us sailing so have lost a couple of days.
DEPART MILFORD HAVEN
4 November - Thursday
Steaming to Queenstown against a nasty head sea. Most uncomfortable motion pitching into it.
The last fortnight I have been suffering from headiness, cannot get myself into proper order, am taking medicine. One doctor says eat anything, another says give the advantage to vegetables. How doctors differ.
Farrow heard this morning of his engagé having broken a blood vessel internally and lying in a very dangerous state. Feel sorry for him. I wish I had someone to care for. However, I must look "up and not down.”
ARRIVE QUEENSTOWN
5 November - Friday
Arrived and moored to a buoy Queenstown Harbour, having been firing at a target all day. Received such a budget of letters from family and such a kind affectionate one from dear Mrs Rawson. She reminds me more and more of my own dear Mother.
6 November - Saturday
Paid Captain Dennistoun and Orlebar a visit on board Revenge. Had a chat with both. Orlebar said “Don’t you marry unless you have £700 at least.” He amused me with his ideas on matrimony, considering he has only been married ten months and is very happy, but dissuading me from thinking of doing the same.
Payne, Commander of Coast Guard lunched with me. He has just completed his time here, My Lords told him, he might have an extension, but would not have a sea-going command. He is most disgusted and is going on half pay.
Just having dined, suffering from a heavy cold in the head. I am quite done up. I paid Mrs Hickley a visit and stuck up for Knowles. I heard the particulars of the case from Captain D. this morning.
It appears Mrs Knowles, the first, was cold towards him, and he seduced the maid and went to sea. Catching the fever abroad, he thought he was dying and wrote home to his wife confessing the fact, after which he remained abroad two years longer. On returning Mrs Knowles would not sleep with him, but put him into a separate room, and he found the maid was still there, waiting on Mrs Knowles and one night the maid came into his room and whilst in bed with him, Mrs Knowles walked in, evidently a regular plant.
The Judge said he had never heard a worse case on both sides, but Captain Knowles got all the blame.
Had 5 o’clock tea with Orlebar and wife and inspected the four weeks old baby.
7 November - Sunday
Had Communion this morning on board. Captain and I the only Communicants. My mind wandered very much I am sorry to say. Dennistoun and skipper yarned in my cabin. I told the latter I thought of leaving in February, as I was not sure of being able to get leave. Blackburne said he would not like to lose me and must manage the leave somehow.
Usborne and a very plain badly dressed niece of his, came off to see the ship, showed them round, then landed and had 5 o’clock tea with Mrs Usborne and on to Admiral’s. Went to Church with his party and had supper there afterwards.
Jack Hickley, Lieutenant in Monarch, there. Seems a good sort of chap and anyway must be a kind brother, as he has been sending his sisters such nice presents. Wrote Baldie.
Hickleys had not heard the story of Nelson Byng’s marriage. On his proposing to the daughter of the widow Mrs Blake at Southsea, the girl said “Ask Mamma;” meaning get her consent. Byng went to the mother, who said, “Why she is such a girl, nonsense, now, if you had asked me” whereupon old Byng asked her, and was accepted. Report has it that she found old Byng was too much for her, and gives him an allowance not to come near her.
8 November - Monday
Walking the steerage this afternoon, I felt prompted to speak to the Messenger boy Thom, a nice gentle looking lad. On enquiry, I found his father and brother were Captains of Merchant ships. I asked him why he came into the Service, he said, he saw some boys in uniform and was much taken with the dress, and being the pet at home, they allowed him to enter the Navy. He told me he had always belonged to the Band of Hope and was a Total Abstainer.
I spoke some encouraging words to the lad and felt very happy and thankful God had given me the opportunity and prompted me to do so.
At 9 pm fired twenty pdr. case and Machine Guns at Target.
ARRIVE BANTRY
9 November - Tuesday
Arrived at Castletown this morning, got hold of our Launch and Tank and moved down to Bantry, where we arrived at 4 pm and moored. I hope for four and a half months.
Heard from E.D. and Robbie.
10 November - Wednesday
A very nice letter from my step-Mother last night, she and Ella start for Mentone this day.
Blackburne this evening, told me a story regarding Gladstone, that took place two or three days ago. The Curate at Hawarden went to call at the Castle, found Mrs Gladstone in, Mr Gladstone being in room above. Curate began condoling on Mr Gladstone not being in power and wound up by saying “Our help is from above, in whom is our trust and dependence.” “Oh! yes”, said Mrs Gladstone, “He will be down in ten minutes.” Collapse of curate.
11 November - Thursday
Commenced at 6 o’clock this morning getting Booms and nets out, though I got up at 5.15, the Quartermaster rushing into me and saying in a very startled tone, “Heave Sir, the safety plug of Steam Pinnace is out.”
“Put another one in.” But I had to get up as Kelly the Quartermaster is not bright. Very tired in the evening.
13 November - Saturday
On going ashore at 10 o’clock this morning, found the Pier crowded with pigs being passed on board the Steamer Fastnet.
Every one anxious to get his pig on board and shying them in to a boarded gangway on top of each other, where they kept jamming. The drovers lifting them up for the ‘shy’ by the two ears and tail, the mate and sailors of vessel hauling them out of the mass of struggling flesh by the tail, the pigs not squealing but simply bawling.
Drovers got excited and began piling pigs up so fast, that at last Captain and crew charged with sticks and kept them off until the gangway was cleared. It was a must ludicrous sight. There must have been some hundreds of pigs on the pier.
In the afternoon Captain and I went for a walk over the Mountains. On our return had tea at Waters and I left a card on Mrs Hopkins. Am afraid I shall find this place very dull this winter. Received secret instructions to look out for a steamer, that has sailed from New Orleans, ostensibly bound for Mexico, but supposed really for Ireland, manned with Arms and Fenians.
14 November - Sunday
Felt out of sorts this morning, so on Captain going round and finding fault, felt and showed myself put out. Very foolish of me, for the skipper said to me afterwards, I don’t mean to find fault with the Commanding Officer, but do it to help him.
Had a nice letter from Taylor last night, telling me of the meeting at C. House.
15 November - Monday
Sent all Boats ashore to clean out.
Crane and Warburton called. Landed and walked down with Crane to Rifle Range to see Wiseman who has taken the fields from Payne, he asked £10.0.0 for use of fields for January and February. I do not think it is excessive.
Was surprised to hear that he gave Payne £250 for the good-will of the lease, a yearly one and pays £40 a year, besides £10 taxes for the sixteen acres. Looking at the man I should not have thought he was worth £5.
Received much information from Crane. He tells me Lord Bantry is in a very bad state of health, through over indulgence before marriage. I also learnt that the true aborigines of Ireland are the Firbolgs, those that have the long upper lip. The Milesians being an invading tribe of Celts.
Feel much better today and I have been busy arranging Baldie going to town. Hear Lady Bantry wishes to sell a pony for £10. Feel much tempted to buy it as I am so fond of riding.
17 November - Wednesday
Went ashore with Captain, making a round of calls, winding up with Bantry House, finding Lady Bantry in, a chatty person. Lord Bantry laid up and the Dowager Lady Bantry not being visible.
18 November - Thursday
Walked out to Ardnagashel with Blackburne, 7 miles, got wet through. Had tea there and came back in Launch, a fog, and managed to miss our way, running out to sea for half an hour.
Captain Blackburne had a dinner party in the evening, very pleasant one.
19 November - Friday
Had a day of drills and sent men on long leave.
20 November - Saturday
Crane, District Inspector of Constabulary, came on board and told me he would give me a mount, so off I went and we rode round to Ardnagashel, finding Mrs Hutchins in, got back about 6 pm pretty moist. Crane told me he had been sent down here partly to stiffen Warburton the R.M. who is so weak, and tries to serve Loyalists and Nationalists. Asked Crane to dinner for Friday next.
21 November - Sunday
Walked out to Wilkinsons with Blackburne and found Miss Wilkinson as lively as ever.
22 November - Monday
Went over to Ardnagashel in Launch with Blackburne and accompanied by Mrs Hutchins and Miss Shine, drove through Glengariff, where Mr and Miss Carey picked us up, to the Tunnel, six to seven miles further on.
The scenery as we drove up the Mountain was very grand and I enjoyed it very much. Upon arriving at the top of mountain and arriving at Pass, found the Pass was a tunnel about 100 yards long. Drove through and from County Cork found ourselves in County Kerry, and such a view of the valley almost immediately beneath us, spreading out for miles and bounded in the distance by the MacGillicuddy’s Reeks and many other ranges of mountains. Truly a fine sight.
We strolled about and then had an al fresco lunch. Drove back and had tea at the Careys, plucked flowers, viewed the church, saw Mrs Eccles and on to Ardnagashel and on board Launch, returned, having had an A1 day. Mrs Hutchins said she wished I would settle down near her.
Carey told us a yarn of a clergyman who wrote to Allsopp for a subscription, was refused. Replied to refusal by saying in return: “I always thought your mark was an open hand, but I have found it a closed fist.” Allsopp replied “I appreciate your wit and enclose £5.”
Reading my dear old father’s journal, I feel proud. Ah! that is a poor weak word to use - of having had such a man for my father. I desire to be like him, but that is impossible, he was one amongst many. I feel unable to express the proud joy I feel at being his son. I did not know in his lifetime the treasure I possessed, now I feel inclined to say “God bless him”, but this is not necessary now. He is with the blessed. Amen.
Troubled a little about Baldie. God guide him and us all.
23 November - Tuesday
Lunched with Captain to meet Mrs Hutchins, Miss Shine and Careys. Took the girls all over the ship. Finished reading Monkraven by Burrard, Lt. R.A. (Aramis). It has a certain amount of cleverness about it and well written as regards keeping up the characters, and the third volume certainly improves and there are many laughable scenes in it. But I find much to find fault with, in its morals - ostensibly to inculcate charity, really palliating adultery. Also much coarseness and lightly speaking of God’s name. I have written to Burrard on this Book, telling him I shall not write my ideas on it, unless he wishes. It is his first Book and I should think he would improve, but I wish I had saved my 32/8d [?].
24 November - Wednesday
This day five years ago, my dear sister Meta died of Typhoid at Perth. A warm hearted devoted sister and Mother and a clever woman, and I believe now she is with her Lord and Saviour.
Went out shooting today, did nothing, but did not mind, as I went for exercise. Long letter from dear Francie.
Night attack this evening.
25 November - Thursday
Made up a party and went in steam launch, lunched at Mrs Eccles’ Hotel, and drove up in a drag to The Tunnel. Party rather slow and dull. Writing now I feel depressed and discontented at my position, no home, and still serving in a Reserve Ship. Milne appointed to Minotaur flag-ship in channel. I wish I did not get discontented. Must pray and fight against it.
27 November - Saturday
Here am I, continually worrying myself about the future. I read my dear old father’s journal and what do I find there? That he did the same sometimes, but then he fought against it and always recounting God’s goodness to him and for instance I quote his words, referring to a little money he gained by Exchange.
“This was unexpected on New Year’s day, and how plainly does it show the goodness of God towards me and mine in the chief place, and in the second, the uselessness and injury to mind and body attempting to look ahead more than the day, and leave all events in the hands of God, where they are safe, and who has promised to help all those who trust in Him and blessedness of being able to commit our ways to the Lord and lean not to our own understandings. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy Paths.”
28 November - Sunday
See Ajax is to be commissioned early next year for Mediterranean, she would just suit me. I have written a letter to Admiral Hoskins to ask for his interest, but have not sent it yet, as I have not made up my mind as to whether it shews want of faith in not leaving All to God; who has so abundantly blessed me in every way. If God would have me go there, surely He can over rule all hearts, Kings, Admirals and Admiralty. Then again, should one not use the means at one’s disposal, and act according to the best of one’s judgement, taking it in prayer to God and being content whatever may happen. I feel puzzled. I ask for guidance. Read John Newtown and prayed and have torn up letter. If the Lord is to be trusted, I can trust Him. He will guide me. I can leave my affairs in His Hands and wherever I go, do my duty to Him. I pray He will help me in my weakness and with such an unstable character as mine.
30 November - Tuesday
Went ashore this afternoon, shooting, saw nothing and got wet through.
Received a nice letter from Robbie and yesterday heard from Lady Hall and Ella from Mentone. Going on to Nice on December 4th.
3 December - Friday
Wednesday last took a walk over the Mountains with Evans, Isaac - and Poulter, and rattled home along the road at a tremendous pace, everyone thinking it too fast, but all too proud to speak and say it was pleasanter going slower. We got over the last four miles in a very short time.
Dined in the evening with the Somers Payne, a very pleasant party. The Hopkins and Bolsters dining there. Came off early, as I had boat waiting, and it was cold work doing so.
4 December - Saturday
Went over to Ardnagashel to shoot with Galloway and Valentine in Steam Launch and joined Hutchins. We went through a lot of coverts and Hutchins and I got a cock each. Tisdall joined us and got a snipe, a great many misses, a heavy lunch at house and out shooting again, no one got anything, but enjoyed the exercise very much. Trouble with rheumatism in my left knee, weather cold, find it dull here, not having any chum to talk to.
5 December - Sunday
Heard from Burrard this morning who thanks me for my letter and quite agrees with me about his book. I wrote carefully and said little, but he rightly - as he said - understood my unsaid criticism.
Am thinking of going on leave the first week in January. I wonder if I shall be successful, in what I intend, D.V, trying for. Had a very nice letter yesterday from Mrs Shirley. She is a very pleasant person and altogether of a sterling character.
Read the papers up to service, consequently paid no attention to service and felt I did not. It is a bad practice and must not be indulged in.
7 December - Tuesday
Pondering on Sunday about giving money away whilst I am so anxious to save and help the family. I was uncertain what to do, as I had not much by me. I turned out all my drawers yesterday, tearing up letters etc. and putting things to right, when to my surprise I came upon a £1. Now, I do not believe it was mere chance my looking over letters, just at the same time I was turning over in my mind about the expediency of sending a £1 away, thus the matter is solved for me.
8 December - Wednesday
It came on to blow very hard last night about 11 pm and culminated in a regular hurricane at midday. After consideration, let go our sheet and lit fires in four boilers, as I fancied we had dragged a little, and the shore was not far astern. Our Steam Launch I hope is safe under the shelter of Pier.
A schooner of about 150 tons broke adrift, got on shore and in five minutes was no more, also Steam Trawler belonging to Somers Payne and Newburgh, broke loose and went up the harbour. I am afraid she has been damaged. I have not seen it blow so hard for many years, it being quite a hurricane. How one’s thoughts go to the poor fellows at sea, for no doubt many lives will be lost through this gale.
Had a curious letter from Mrs Harwood, which I answered discreetly.
Been reading my dear father’s journal, one long praise of God’s goodness to him.
11 December - Saturday
On Wednesday evening, a cold came on me, and Thursday and Friday I was very bad, eyes, throat, ears, and chest attacked, and I spent two very miserable days, especially yesterday. I am thankful to say I am better now and on the mend.
Lady Hall wrote me yesterday from Mentone, saying she had ceased to be a Teetotaler, and also mentioning about the remark she made to Ella about marrying again, which she says she did hastily etc., and alluding to Colonel Sandys said there was nothing in it.
I replied, I quite agreed with her, never thought there was, and ended by saying I did not think it was a subject to talk about, considering my father was not dead five months. She is evidently tired of being abroad and hankers after men’s society and I shall be glad to have Ella home again as I do not care for the Sandys [?].
12 December - Sunday
Got rid of my cold, but troubled now with diarrhoea, but hope tomorrow D.V. to be all right. Reading dear old father’s journals, what an unselfish, simple minded, honourable Christian man and yet so active in work.
I was rather distressed at hearing Baldie was not well, pray the lad may soon be himself again.
I was quite knocked up last night going over the journal recounting my mother’s illness.
While I still remember it, let me jot down what I remember of that happy little visit that my father made and enjoyed so much last May, the last time I saw him in health, with the exception of once at Francie’s and the following day.
On Friday, May 7th, 1886 he arrived at the Plymouth Station, where I met him, he came down 2nd class, dear old man. We drove into the Rawsons, who had some cocoa ready for him, and he did enjoy being there, so much especially seeing his old friends Harry and Florrie Rawson.
After a pleasant chat, it being late, I took my departure, and the next day, Saturday after breakfast (I think we had a little prayer) we went in Dockyard Train and down to Keyham Yard, and he called on Robb, the I of M, and they had a long chat over old times. The mateys all touched their hats to him and he was so pleased at seeing them, though eleven years had elapsed, they still remembered him.
He came on board Shannon in dry dock. I introduced him to some of the officers who were on board. He came into my cabin, put on his spectacles and had a quiet read in my cabin. He then went back to the Dockyard and up into the loft where the sailmakers were working, to have a yarn with an old Calcutta Coleman working up there; then into the rigging house to see some more old ships.
I sent over for Stephens, an old Butter, now in Boat House and he rushed over to see Father. Old Quick did not know he was down yet. Father went to Rawsons to lunch.
I went back to ship to lunch and shift and about two o’clock called for Dumps and we sallied out. Calling at Miss Weston’s found Miss Wintz and Miss Brown in, had a long yarn, at last I said, we must go, to carry programme. Miss Wintz said “Well, Sir William, you have done us such a lot of good, like a smack of the sea breeze.” Called at Clarkes, B. and Adams, and on to Admiral Phillimore’s. He stayed yarning there about three-quarters to an hour. I waited outside on Mount Wise.
We then went to Quick’s, found old Quick was out fishing, and Mrs Quick said, he will be mad at missing you Sir William. Poor Mrs Quick, dying fast, cancer. Dear father gave her £1 and we then walked back and had 5 o’clock tea at Mrs Rawson’s, finding Mrs Rawson in. Father did enjoy being petted by Mrs Rawson, who made cocoa for him, and he certainly looked happy.
We then had dinner there, father and I having had a stroll first. Admiral, Mrs Grant and two Hospital Nurses (one having nursed Wyatt Rawson when he died) dined there also, and a charming little party it was.
Sunday. We went to Church, in Captain Rawson’s pew, and heard an essay from clergyman of Belle Isle. I was much amused with Captain Rawson manoeuvring me from between himself and his wife. However I sat next Father.
Lunched on board and returned to pick up father and away we went and walked out to Cemetery and saw our sainted one’s grave. We then walked back and called on Drury and Admiral Napier, and back to Dockyard.
Father did not like the 5 o’clock tea anywhere so well as at Mrs Rawson’s. To evening service, father and I, a little affected at past memories, heard a capital sermon from Canon Moore. After service father and I walked over to vestry and father spoke to Moore, who took the opportunity of pressing father to come down that evening and speak to boys at Gordon Home. He consented at once. Back we went to the Rawsons and had supper (the Rawsons are so kind and my heart warmed to them, for their kindness and attention to father).
At 9 pm father and I walked down to Gordon Home and father spoke so nicely to boys. We got back about 10 to Rawsons and yarned for half-an-hour.
Monday. I came round to breakfast and father offered up little prayer in his room and we drove to station and Quick and I saw him off.
The dear good old man, he and I did enjoy ourselves and were so happy. I heard he went to town and insisted on going over everything he did several times to Francie and Ella.
31 May - Monday. On a few days leave in London. Met Dumps at Eaton Place and next day Francie and I picked him in Brougham, at club. He felt, dear old man a little proud, I cannot help thinking in having the Brougham waiting for him, and I think myself he kept it purposely a few minutes for he said on getting in “I’ll just let some of those old buffers at the club see me getting into my daughter’s brougham” and when he was asked whether he would like to go round Battersea Park or along the Row: he said, “Why The Row of course”, and he looked like a boy on the spree, and so he was, dear old man.
14 December - Tuesday
Rob’s 29th birthday, wrote him. Been getting Nets out today, slow and tedious work. Sent my letter to Burrard, who wrote Monkraven, as in my last letter I did not criticise it very much, but, he wrote me, saying he looked upon me as a friend etc. So I wrote him very candidly, telling him to “Honour God and God would honour him”, and write of His name more reverently.
Miss H wrote me two long and clever letters, entreating me to write her, saying she trusted me so much in advising her to act rightly. So on consideration I will not drop it, altogether, as I may do good. Received the proof print of my dear worthy father, a very good one. I pray I may keep up the honour of his name.
Read that excellent sermon in John Newtown, on Trust in God, more especially as giving money away.
16 December - Thursday
Went over to Glengariff this afternoon, met Captain Blackburne, who with Valentine and I walked up and called on Miss White at the Castle.
This evening heard from Lady Hall of dear Lel’s serious illness at Cannes. Lady Hall writes in rather a way that is ill feeling I think, but I do not intend Lel should stay much more with Lady Hall.
17 December - Friday
Wired Francie, who replied dear Lel was better. Feel so thankful. Am very perplexed as to what to do. My inclination is to go on half pay, but full pay enables me to help the two girls. I am so cold and heartless in my prayers, I long to be more faithful, more single-hearted, less worldly, living more and more for the next world, so easy to write these desires, but oh! so hard to practise them, and what do I do for my Lord? Nothing.
19 December - Sunday
Dear Lel still on the mend, I am thankful to say. Went over to Ardnagashel this day, in company with Evans, Wylde and Delafons. We shot all the woods, but we all shot badly, Bag, 2 woodcock, 2 couple of snipe and a rabbit. I got 1½ couple of snipe and missed two cock.
Blackburne seedy. Yesterday we went out for a walk together and I thought he was rather dull, though he never does say much.
In talking to an old shopkeeper ashore here, I brought in Mr Gilhooly’s name. “Ah!” he said “he does work hard for me, but I don’t know what good he does.” I slapped my breeches’ pockets and said, “Anyway he fills this" at which he laughed and said “Yes.”
24 December - Friday
Christmas Eve. This time last year spent it in company with my dear father, now alas! gone from us. But yesterday I read some lines on a tablet in the church here, put up by Lady Bantry to her daughter’s memory (Lady E. Leigh), which one can apply to one’s father. “All is right, that seems most wrong, if it be His sweet will: nevertheless the light of our eyes is gone from us.”
How one’s family is broken up and scattered. It seems hard to realise, Father and Mother gone, Meta and Russell also. Now making a home in lodgings for my two dear sisters and young brother. My dear father always trusting Lady Hall would make a home for them, as she promised him, but I believe God will never desert the orphans if they put their trust in Him.
The year is nearly over. Let me take a short review of it, and doing so may it tend to make me see God’s goodness and mercy.
I tried hard to get my appointment to this ship cancelled, failed, result, instead of being abroad at my Father’s death, arrived in England from our Summer cruise, a week before he died, saw him, cheered him up, by arranging about Buz going to a clergyman. Got leave from Lord John Hay and Admiral Baird, as much as I required, and stayed at home six weeks, settled everything. Placed E.D. at same place as Buz. Arranged about Coffee House, Yearsley assisting by taking the pledge.
By coming to this ship also, have regained my health, saved money and got commended for a good inspection during summer cruise. Very thankful I did not come to the point this time last year with Miss Swinburne, sister to poet.
I cannot be too thankful, that all my endeavours to get to sea failed, and I earnestly pray I may not forget His benefits as I do.
I desire to get married and make a home for myself and the girls, and strive to leave all in His hands, so easy to write, but not to believe.
This day, the 24th, walked with Blackburne round to Ardnagashel 6 miles, came back by Steam Launch.
Going to send the boys there tomorrow, to have tea.
Ella and Lady Hall should be at Paris now, and London, I hope, on Tuesday. So glad to hear form Lel yesterday, she is longing to get to Francie and E.D. once more.
Christmas Day 1886
Passed off very quietly on board. The men decorated their messes very nicely, and we all walked round, cheers being given for Captain, Commander, etc.
Blackburne dined with us in the evening. After the Queen I proposed “Absent friends, Sweethearts and Wives.”
27 December - Monday
Reading Review on Algernon Sidney by Blackburne’s niece. Very well written, she has evidently read carefully. I believe not more than twenty years of age. I was struck with one observation of Algernon Sidney. “I write my thoughts at one time, that in perusing them at another, I may come to knowledge of myself.”
I received a summons this afternoon for carrying a gun on the 24th without having a licence. I said to Evans on the 24th, I don’t like going on shore until I get a licence. He said it is all right, if you write for one. I told the Steward to do so and landed walking over the Domain and shot nothing. The Steward did not write for licence until the 25th, and I received it on the 1st January, with an intimation that I had shot on the 24th without one.
I at once wrote and explained and correspondence was sent on to London to the Inland Revenue Commissioners. But I could not get them to stop proceedings so, I suppose, I must stand the fine of £10, which I can ill afford to pay, with the many demands made on my purse.
It seems sharp practice, as Mr Murphy saw me with a gun and yet never spoke to me, and he could not have known I had no licence. But must have lodged an information against me after especially making enquiries.
28 December - Tuesday
Went ashore this forenoon. Saw four of the Magistrates at Club who told me, they would take care to be on the Bench when my case came on, and also would postpone it, until my return in February. Prentice, Capt. of Top, took the pledge for three months.
1887
ON LEAVE
2 January - Sunday
Lough Fea, Carrickmacross.
I must go back to Thursday, the 30th, on which day I left Bantry and fetched Dublin, having the evening before received a note from Sir Algernon West saying proceedings against me had been withdrawn. Slept at North Wall Hotel and on Friday strolled about Dublin, and on to this place, received a hearty welcome.
Sir Oriel Forster staying here and at dinner that evening he gave us some interesting information about the Coca (Cocaine) plant. He was staying in 1883 at Darmstadt, under the care of Dr Hoffman, a distinguished oculist, as he was losing one of his eyes through blood poisoning.
Dr Hoffman went into some Congress or other and met a Viennese Chemist, who told him of the discovery he had made with regard to the wonderful effects resulting on using Coca to prevent pain and produce insensibility to the touch. Dr Hoffman got the secret from this chemist and sent it to be made up by his chemist in Darmstadt and Sir O. Foster was the first patient experimentalised on, Dr Hoffman having first tried it on rabbits etc.
The chemist in Darmstadt sent all over Europe and bought every leaf of the coca plant that was to be obtained and raised the price from 4/- a dram to 40/- a dram.
On Saturday Shirley and I had a try for the duck on the Lough, much too wary. In the evening shot pigeons. He told me he had 2,000 tenants on his Irish Estate.
McClintock, nephew of Sir Leopold lunched, also Gibbons, Shirley’s agent.
Dr Hope to cross over tomorrow night. Feel so happy away from ship and its restraint and pettiness. Wish now I had a home of my own.
6 January - Thursday
Left Lough Fea on Monday and after a tiring passage across got to London 7 am Tuesday morning. Snowing and had some difficulty getting cab to take me over to 46, Stanford Road, Kensington, where my two dear sisters Edith and Ella are living. Baldie and Rob lodging at 52, where a room had been engaged for me.
When alone in my room I felt very depressed and tears came into my eyes, as I thought of my sisters living in such small lodgings, all by themselves, and what a different life it might have been if Lady Hall had only shown ordinary courtesy and I also thought of how my dear father had always believed Lady Hall would be as good as her word, in offering the girls and Baldie a home, if anything happened to him, and what he put up with, alas! for day dreams.
Found the girls very happy and very well I am thankful to say. Rob not much altered, Buz a charming young fellow.
7 January - Friday
Did a lot of business in City. Saw Francie and dined there, meeting Lady Abinger, who with dear Francie, is intent on marrying me.
8 January - Saturday
Dear Lel and Rob not very well, throat, the latter smokes cigarettes too much, a luxury he can ill afford to indulge in.
9 January - Sunday
Heard an Historical Essay this morning instead of a Gospel Sermon. Lunched with Ted and Francie, had 5 o’clock tea at Lady Abinger to meet Miss Toler. Miss Eveline Scarlett, and in fact all the family knew the reason of our being invited to meet each other, and I was much amused at seeing Miss Eveline bursting with suppressed laughter at Miss Toler entering.
I whispered to Ted, “Look at Miss E.” (she by the way had, I believe, accepted Major Haverfield of the R.A. that afternoon, he was also there). Lady Abinger manoeuvred and put Miss Toler and I next each other and I found her a charming girl and got on swimmingly and hope to follow it up.
Last night Rev Mr Spurrell, who is lodging here, sent a message down to me, asking me (whom he did not know) to come and have a smoke with him, as he was all alone. I thought it best to go up for a short time and was received by him, “Ah what wine do you take?” Thank you I am a Total Abstainer, refused his cigar and hauled out my pipe, and sitting down spoke of Temperance and then glided on to the evils of Ritualism and I hope on saying good-night at 9.30 pm I had done the young man some good.
Have been receiving some very spiteful letters from Lady Hall, trying to draw me, with regard to Ted’s kindness in assisting the girls. But I am not to be drawn. Also some very unkind remarks about my flippant suggestion about text for my loved father’s tomb and objecting to expense. I see Mrs Barker in all this.
10 January - Monday
Dear E.D. 23 years of age, and no man would wish for a warmer hearted sister. Called with her on Mrs Findlay, who was so glad to see us.
18 January - Tuesday
Let me go back to last Thursday, when I went down to The Elms, and meeting Yearsley at Leicester was informed by him, that Lady Hall had never told him about the Temperance Meeting that night, in fact, he did not know of it, until I told him. It looked uncommonly as if she, in her dislike of Yearsley, had done it on purpose, and as he had an engagement that night, of course he could not attend. I found Mrs and Miss Barker and young Rich (who had lately lost his father) staying at The Elms.
After luncheon, Lady Hall and I at once went on to business and we got over everything very amicably taking lists of everything. That evening, Mr Edgecombe came over from Nottingham and we had a very pleasant meeting at Coffee House, over 200 being there. Mr Edgecombe spoke very nicely and at the end some Temperance friends of my dear father presented an engraving neatly framed of him, which much touched me and I thanked them in suitable terms and hung it up.
It was slippery work walking back in the dark, the country being under snow and freezing hard, making it difficult to walk.
Friday and Saturday I was busy packing up and sending away all my father’s books and crockery and the girls’ things, leaving only the pictures and ornamental china.
I found her ladyship very touchy at times, and very bitter towards Ella. She quite agreed that in future she and my sisters could only be acquaintances and so ends their connection and Baldie’s with her.
Looking back over six years, I cannot recall any kindness Lady Hall has shown my sisters and, in fact, has shown much unkindness, in fact almost amounting to cruelty towards them, especially Edith. What a life of self denial, trial and abnegation my dear father had to live. Tied to a woman that was not capable of understanding or sympathising with him, yet he was so loyal to her for all that. However let me stop, else I shall get very uncharitable in my writings and to review the past six years would fill pages.
I had long yarns with Taylor laid up with the gout, and he told me what people thought of her conduct. However let me dismiss Lady Hall from my thoughts.
Sunday, in the afternoon I went to Taylor’s Church and read the lessons as dear father used to, curiously enough the 57 Isaiah being one. A very handsome brass has been placed just over the reading desk. I append the Inscription:
To the Glory of God
And in Memory
of His faithful Servant
Admiral
Sir William King-Hall, KCB
Born March 11th 1816 Died July 29th 1886
This brass is erected
by many in this place
who thank God
For his good example
Above the inscription being his Coat of Arms.
On Monday I returned to town and glad I was to get away from The Elms and its hollowness and pitfalls.
20 January - Thursday
Met Lady Hall at Station, asked me to dine at Rawlings Hotel. Thankful to say I was engaged to Mrs Findlay’s, to whose house Rob, the two girls and myself went to dinner and a very pleasant party it was. Edith played most beautifully on the piano after dinner.
21 January - Friday
Went down to Northampton, meeting Lady Hall and Colonel Sandys at Euston, I went 3rd they went 1st. Lady Hall wanted to pay the difference so that I should accompany them, but I would not have it.
Arrived at Northampton. We met Bradford (the first time I had met him) and Dr Wilkinson at Christchurch, Leamington, and we lunched at the George, and then went to Bradford’s Chapel. I was much struck on entering at its pretty and cheery appearance. It holds 1250. I was much affected and wept as I thought of the past and how lightly Lady Hall held his memory and also at observing the beautiful Tablet put up to his memory.
Dr Wilkinson could not restrain his tears and he then mounted the platform and from where my dear father declared the church open free of debt, he read some verses and offered up prayer. We had tea at Bradford’s, a fine honest and faithful Minister of the Gospel and I am glad I have made his and Dr Wilkinson’s acquaintance the latter evidently a clever well read man and very thorough.
At 5.45 we left for town, travelling as we came down. Colonel Sandys’ Brougham meeting them at the Station. I hear Lady Hall had a dinner party of five including Colonel Sandys at Rawlings.
I am much disgusted at the very palpable manner that Lady Hall is trying to catch Colonel Sandys, flattering him, which he is open to, but still more disgusted at her using religion as a cloak to further her ends. I feel sad at heart, at thinking how unworthy she was of being a wife to my dear father.
I verily believe that whilst my father was lying dead at Rawlings, she was thinking of marrying again and of Colonel Sandys too, for, I find she talked of it, a very short time after his death and carried Colonel Sandys’ photograph about with her. It was most disgusting to see the girlish way she went on. Colonel Sandys is obstinate, easily flattered and in his way anxious to do good and does do so. Is I should say narrow minded and if she catches him, of which I am doubtful, she will catch a Tartar.
22 January - Saturday
Wrote a long letter last night to Rob’s wife. Went this day with the two girls into the City to New Inn’s Yard. We paid a visit to St Mary’s, Woolnoth, and had a prayer. We were all affected very much, remembering our dear father’s custom of coming every Friday, for the same purpose.
23 January - Sunday
Went to St Mary Abbots and heard the Dean of Windsor preach. Did not care very much for it. In the afternoon paid Ted and Francie a visit at Flemings Hotel.
24 January - Monday
Called on the Reverend Carr Glyn and informed him of the fact that he had two new parishioners in the shape of E.D. and Lel. Then into the city to Bank, about the girls’ affairs, having previously been to the Admiralty about my Mat and saw Admiral Graham the Controller who threw cold water on it a bit, as they are so hard up for money.
25 January - Tuesday
Took the girls to Co-op and invested in some things for them. It is a pleasure doing anything for them and they are so happy and looking so well and contented. Met Sir Houston and Lady Stewart, the former told me he was much cast down. Grace his daughter, who married a French officer, dying of cancer in Paris. They were just going over to see her. No hope.
A pleasant evening. I do not look forward with pleasure to returning back to ship, one is so happy here.
27 January - Thursday
Paid the Curzons a visit, most friendly, then on to Chown’s and Ella signed her Will.
Back to the Admiralty and saw Sir A. Hood the First Sea Lord, and had a short interview with him, during which I informed him I was anxious to get into a sea going ship. Then I had an interview with Sir A. Hoskins the Second Lord, and had a pleasant chat with him, about myself, my dear father and also my Mat.
Back to the Co-op with E.D. and Lel, had tea there and then home. It is certainly very pleasant seeing the two girls so well and happy and R, going on steadily. I feel quite satisfied now having made known my desire to get to sea and shall do no more.
29 January - Saturday
Received yesterday a letter from Lady Hall, saying she did not wish me to have anything to do with putting up a Memorial to father at grave, the latter being her property. I felt much pained at her showing feeling. Even at the grave, however, I’ve not quarrelled on such a matter, and have told her, a hint months ago would have been sufficient. I shall in conjunction with my sisters and brothers put up something at Sutton and Devonport.
31 January - Monday
Yesterday, E.D. Ella and I went and had Communion at 8 o’clock and 11.30 we went to Service at St Mary Abbott’s. During the afternoon we went to call on the Margessons and had 5 o’clock tea there, Lady Alkina being there. Margesson a very charming person.
In the evening dined with Francie and Ted, Miss Gurwood, O’Neill MP for Mid-Antrim, and French, a very good looking Irish Landlord, who talks of leaving Ireland and setting up on the Stock Exchange.
O’Neill told me that in his last election Mr Harrington wrote to a Priest telling him to warn his congregation to vote against O’Neill. This so enraged the Priest that he marched all his congregation up and made them vote for O’Neill.
This forenoon, wrote about putting up Brass Tablets to dear Father at Devonport and Sutton and then saw Lord W. Kerr, private secretary to Lord H. Hamilton, had a pleasant interview with him and then called on Captain Dawson and had a yarn with him about Father’s Memoirs.
Called on the Findlays and Halls, on to the House of Commons. O’Neill trying to get me in, but it was too crowded. O’Neill told me some interesting things about the Irish MP’s being divided into three classes, the first being the good speakers always in town during the sitting of Parliament, receiving a regular income; the second who work up statistics etc. getting about 50/- a week and the items (rest) who when wanted to vote get a third-class return ticket sent to them and 4/- a day lodging allowance. He also told me that last year he was at Childers’ house, and Childers said to him the division on the English Church in Wales, will be coming on soon, and we must go down and support the Church. Imagine O’Neill’s surprise when he saw Childers voting against the Church.
2 February - Wednesday
Yesterday, E.D. Lel, and myself went to Olympia, and it was certainly very well done, and I was much struck at seeing the wonderful sagacity of the two elephants.
In the evening Rob and I went to the House of Commons and heard some new members ranting, especially a Mr Graham. Mr Grant Duff late secretary to Admiralty spoke well. Returned home about midnight.
Had a satisfactory interview with Lord Walter Kerr.
Paid Mrs Harwood, Rob’s mother-in-law, a visit and had a long talk with her about Rob.
5 February - Saturday
Thursday last E.D. and Lel and myself walked in to Clarges Street. Saw Francie and then on to the Civil Service. Did some shopping, it is really so pleasant going about with the girls, they are so happy.
Nellie Morgan and Miss C - g came to tea, and Nellie sang. She certainly has a lovely voice and will make a great name for herself by and by.
O’Neill MP told me Sir M. H. Beach and Lord R. C. [Randolph Churchill] were very off hand in their manner, especially the latter.
Friday, Lel and I walked in and saw Francie and Ted, I said good-bye to them both and then we went on to Civil Service and did some shopping, and on to Admiralty.
I saw Awdry about nomination for Moon’s Sea, and on to R.N.I. (over which yesterday I took dear E.D. and Lel). At U.S.I. saw Captain Burgess, who told me my plan of Collision Mat was going to be printed. Hurrah for me.
I came back by bus, sitting next a sergeant of Commissionaires, he belongs to the U.S.I. club. I entered into conversation with him and found the C. Engineer of Tartar is his son.
The girls and myself went out for a walk through High Street together and returning had 5 o’clock tea. Rob returned and Lel said let us have a little prayer together and we all had a prayer together, I praying. It reminded me so much of dear old father’s practice.
This forenoon (Friday) gave orders about the Brasses being put up, one at Sutton to Father’s Memory and one at Devonport to Father’s and Mother’s Memory.
In Memory of Admiral Sir William-King Hall K.C.B.
Born 11th March 1816. Died 29th July 1886.
This Brass is erected by his children who thank God
for having blessed them with such a loving
unselfish Father
And they shall be mine saith the Lord of Hosts, in
that day when I make up my jewels.
------------
In Memory of Admiral Sir William King-Hall, K.C.B.
Born 11th March 1816. Died 29th July 1886
and
Louisa his wife
Born 26th September 1826. Died 29th June 1875.
This Brass is erected by their children who thank God
for having blessed them with such loving unselfish Parents.
In their death, they were not divided.
--------------
At 5 pm Friday, after our prayer we parted having had a very happy time together and I feel it not only a duty but an exceedingly great pleasure working for the two dear, good and loving girls. Rob saw me off at Euston and I arrived on board this evening, having had a stormy passage across the Channel.
RETURN FROM LEAVE
I shall finish up this Journal thanking God for His great mercies and blessings to us all. He has seen fit to remove our loved father, now he is happy in the Lord’s presence. My earnest desire and prayer is that I may in some degree fill his place by God’s guidance and I earnestly pray I may live for things Eternal and not temporal. God knows my weakness of the flesh and my instability. I pray God to strengthen me and fill me with His Holy Spirit that I may indeed be a follower of the Lord Jesus.
I close this book 9 pm, February 5th 1887.
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