Sunday Family Humour 8th July

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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Drinking and Driving

Thanks to Tony H.

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some folk have been known to have had brushes with the authorities
 on their way home from the odd social session over the years.

Well a couple of nights ago, a friend of mine was out for a few drinks
with some other friends at the Clarence Hotel
 and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine.

Knowing full well that he may have been slightly over the limit,
he did something he’d never done before. . . .
He took a bus home.

Soon enough he approached a police road block
but since it was a bus, they waved it past.


Thus he arrived home safely without incident which was a real surprise,
as he had never driven a bus before and is still not sure where he got it. 



Beautiful Natural Pictures

Thanks to Lee

Nature Pictures.ppt



Cool Dog

Thanks to Ray O'.

YouTube Video


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Life's Rules

Thanks to Tony H.

 
1.     There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and The Worse Half's.

2.     The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

3.     I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

4.     I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess’ on it.
        I said, "Thyroid problem?"

5.     I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

6.     A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

7.     Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

8.     I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

9.     If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?

10.    I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

11.    The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

12.    If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s.

13.    I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want
         to annoy for the rest of your life.

14.    Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

15.    I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

16.    Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

17.   That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain
         world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains."

18.   No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.

19.   Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets,
        are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

20.   How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

21.   Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in
        a swimming pool?

22.   Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

23.   Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

24.   Snowmen fall from Heaven un-assembled.

25.   Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
        Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.


Skywalk

Thanks to Lee
This skywalk is 4700 meters high, on the Tianmen Mountain in  Hunan, China

Skywalk.pps



Computer Experts with Time to Spare

Thanks to Ray O'.

Computer experts 1

Computer experts 2



Roadworks


Computer experts 4



Computer experts 5



Cat with Human teeth

Computer experts 6



Walking Truck



Card Trick

Thanks to Tony H.

Card Trick



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