Sunday Family Humour 23rd December
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Best Blond JokeThanks to Tony H.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and
decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it
for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to
send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the
telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister
telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch
the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, and
then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word..' Well, after paying for the
bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to
send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here
to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
You'll love this..........
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll
read it very slowly.... 'Com-for-da-bul.'
Britain From The AirThanks to Jane MacR.
(Great Pictures - may load slowly, but it's worth the wait)
of aerial photographs giving a spectacular bird's eye view of
Britain from above has been released to mark the Queen's Jubilee
contrast with serene stretches of glorious countryside as sites
that might seem ubiquitous from the ground are transformed into
unique and wonderful images when viewed from above.
heart-stopping shots are the work of aerial photographer Jason
Hawkes who developed a love of Britain 's varied landscape since
taking his first flying lesson 20 years ago.
location: The Glenfinnan Viaduct in Scotland featured in the
Harry Potter films.
Buckingham Palace dominates the landscape in this aerial view of
pics: Pictured from above these sports pitches and the ant like
people playing take on a strange geometrical beauty
dreams: The Oval cricket pitch in South London at
Fun land: A
rollercoaster track twists and turns to form an incredible
colourful image at this amusement park in Southend-on-Sea
on an angel: A rarely seen view of Anthony Gormley's Angel of
the North sculpture in Gateshead
with Nelson: A view looking down on Nelson's Column in London 's
Centre Court at the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Club
A quiet moment at Stonehenge
crannies: A lighthouse looks out over a rugged stretch of coast
near East Prawle in Devon
legend: Some believe Glastonbury Tor in Somerset is the final
resting place of King Arthur
field of Flax in Buckinghamshire takes on magical
Longleat maze near Bath is the largest in Britain
Meanwhile - in RussiaThanks to David H.
Boogie Woogie - I Can DanceThanks to Captain Bob.
is a pianist from Switzerland
who plays some of the best Boogie Woogie
He is so BIG over there,
they hold a week-long Boogie Woogie
contest every year
and all the best players in the world are invited.
In this video he is joined by 2 amazing dancers....
The male dancer
even has a haircut from the forties.
If you can take your eyes
the male dancer is super
. . . never moves his shoulders
relative to what his feet and knees are doing.
And the top of his head
stays at the same height no matter what.
Turn up the volume, watch, and give it a listen!
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T REMEMBER,
THIS IS HOW THE BOOGIE WOOGIE WAS DONE!
Where Would You Be?Thanks to Tony H.
Where Would You Be?
WHERE WOULD YOU BE:
IF - YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES?
IF - YOU HAD NO WORRIES?
IF - YOU CAME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL WAS AWAITING YOU
IF - YOUR BATH WATER HAD BEEN RUN?
IF - YOU HAD THE PERFECT KIDS OR PETS?
IF - YOUR PARTNER WAS AWAITING YOU,
WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES?
SO, WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
Well....... HELLOOooo !!!!!!!
YOU'D BE at THE WRONG FIRKIN HOUSE!
It can comfortably fly 10,000 Miles (16,000 km) at Mach 0.88 or 654 mph (1,046 km/h)
with 1000 passengers on board !
They have kept this secret long enough.
This shot was taken last month by an amateur photographer.
BOEING 797 Boeing is preparing this 1000 passenger Jet Liner that could
reshape the Air Travel Industry. Its radical "Blended Wing &
Fuselage" design has been developed by Boeing in cooperation with NASA
Langley Research Centre. The mammoth aircraft will have a wing span of
265 feet compared to 211 feet of its 747, and its been designed to fit
within the newly created Air Terminals for the 555 seat Airbus A380,
which is 262 feet wide.
new 797 is Boeing's direct response to the Airbus A380, which has
racked up orders for 159 already. Boeing decided to kill its 747X
Stretched Super Jumbo in 2003 after little interest was shown for it by
Airline Companies, but continued to develop its "Ultimate Airbus
Crusher", the 797 at its Phantom Works Research Facility in Long Beach,
California. The Airbus A380 had been in the works since 1999 and has
accumulated $13 Billion in development costs, which gives Boeing a huge
advantage. More so because Airbus is thus committed to the older style
tubular structure for their aircraft for decades to come.
are several big advantages in the "Blended Wing & Fuselage" design,
the most important being the "Lift to Drag" ratio which is expected to
increase by an amazing 50%, resulting in an overall weight reduction of
the aircraft by 25%, making it an estimated 33% more fuel efficient than
the A380, and thus making the Airbus's $13 Billion Dollar investment
look pretty shaky. "High
Airframe Rigidity" is another key factor in the "Blended Wing &
Fuselage" technology. It reduces turbulence and creates less stress on
the airframe which adds to fuel efficiency, giving the 797 a tremendous
10,000 Mile range with 1,000 passengers on board cruising comfortably at
Mach 0.88 or 654 MPH, which gives it another advantage over the
tube-and-wing designed A380's 570 MPH.
exact date ! for introduction of the 797 is as yet unclear, but the
battle lines are clearly drawn in the high-stakes war for future
civilian aircraft supremacy.