Sunday Family Humour 18th November

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

The Educated Dog

Thanks to Tony H.

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university.

Halfway through the semester he has foolishly squandered all of his money.

He calls home. 'Dad,' he says,

'you won't believe what modern education is developing..

They actually have a program here in Brisbane that

will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.'

So .... his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.

The boy calls home.

'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know..

'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... but you just won't believe this.

They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the

animals how to read.'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him

read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news.

Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home,

Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back

in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal.

Then he suddenly turned to me and asked,

"So, is your Daddy still dating that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''

The father groans and whispers,

'I hope you shot that swine before he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!'

'That's my boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer and politician!

Try out the new Ipad

Thanks to Captain Bob.

When you feel like you've just had enough

Thanks to Ray M.

One tough ol' bridge

Thanks to fritz

I am Thankful

Thanks to Peter D.

I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE

WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,

AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND

WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME

WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER

WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS

SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A

LITTLE TOO SNUG

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,

WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,

AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME ..

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING

I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE

FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN

BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION ..

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH

WHO SINGS OFF KEY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES

AT THE END OF THE DAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF

IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MANY E-MAILS

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE

THINKING OF ME.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

Evolution

Thanks to Arthur

We have used this very funny article as the basis of an experiment

into the best way to show pictures.

I'm going to look at increasing the picture size to a suitable standard.

The following slide show from Flickr seems good to me.

If you roll your mouse over the presenation, choices appear.

You can skip backwards and forward and browse through thumbnail images and lots of things.

I think the time taken to get images from the email that you send me

to the final presentation in Sunday Humour

will now be much easier.

I'm going to try to make it so that you can copy just a presentation

if you want to save it or forward it.

Please let me know what you think -

How about the download speed?

Should we use Flickr in future?

Go slowly and enjoy

Hint: Mouse over the display to find remote control switches

- Choose yourself

Shuttle and Chase Plane

Thanks to David H.

his movie-sequence is more than historical and just breathtaking beautiful!

(Switch to HD and full screen with sound on).

You`re almost sitting in the FA-18 chaseplane and can hear the pilot`s breath.

What a nice feeling of flying!

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