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Sunday Family Humour 4th November Page 2
Sunday Family Humour 4th November Page 2
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
The perils of aging
The perils of aging
Thanks to Chris A.
A group of chaps, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for
lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View
restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, with tight
skirts, perky breasts and nice bums.
Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because the food and service was good and
the wine selection was excellent.
Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet
and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the
Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible
and had an elevator.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the
Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
Only in Australia
Only in Australia
Thanks to Tony H.
Treat for Musicians and Engineers
Treat for Musicians and Engineers
Thanks to Neil D.
Dear God: It's me, the Dog
Dear God: It's me, the Dog
Thanks to Paul S.
Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our
Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. W
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside,
and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God:
When I get to Heaven,
May I have my testicles back?
"Saving one animal won't change the world but it will change the world for that one animal." -Anonymous-
What Goes On in the Garden When You Aren't Watching
What Goes On in the Garden When You Aren't Watching
Thanks to Paul S.
SUPER Amazing Photography!
The hummingbird doing rolls chasing a bug is neat!!!
This is beautiful.......be sure and watch closely (around 2 min 40 sec)
and check out the baby bat under its mama. Unreal.
If you never knew what goes on in the garden when you aren't paying attention.
Watch this
- this is some of the finest photography you will ever see.
Four Cats
Four Cats
Thanks to Ray M.
The Four Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured
Exactly 8 ounces into the glass, without spilling a drop .
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
Ate the cookies........
Drank the milk.....
S**t on the paper.......
Screwed the other three cats........
Claimed he injured his back while doing so.
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......
Put in for Workers Compensation..................and
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............
AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO
WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!
Beauty and the Beak
Beauty and the Beak
Thanks to Paul S.
Amazon Associates
Amazon Associates
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Hash House Harriers
Hash House Harriers
The Hash House Harriers (abbreviated to HHH, H3, or referred to simply as Hashing)
is an international group of non-competitive running, social and drinking clubs,
whose organisation and mismanagement have existed for over 50 years.
Visit relaxing Laos
Vientiane Hashes run every Saturday and Monday
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