Sunday Family Humour 1st July

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour



New Priest

Thanks to Andre M.

A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.


The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."


So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.. He proceeded to talk up a storm.


Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:


1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say,"Eat me."

12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.




Moscow Flash Mob

Thanks to Andre M

Moscow Flash Mob


Cop Humour

Thanks to Ray M.

cop humour.ppt



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Hell's Angels Great Grandfathers

Thanks to David H.

Hells Angels Great-grandfathers.ppt



Hanging Out With Friends

Thanks to David M.

Grab a cup of coffee           
 
          
Friends 1

     
      Dine out at your  favorite restaurant 
   
friends 2

     
    Spend some time at the  museum
  
friends 3


      Meet at a popular  diner
 
friends 4


      Relax at the  beach
   
friends 5


      Go to a game  
   
friends 6
  

   
   Going out on a  date
   
friends 7


     
    Take a drive around  town
friends 8

Don't you want to just slap them sometimes?

Beautiful Blooming Cacti - and life wisdom

Thanks to Ray M.

POSITIVESIDEOFLIFEep.pps



Spectacular Photos

Thanks to Ray M.

Photos_spectaculaires.pps



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