The Mystery of the Fire Alarm -
Part 2

by Defne

So. Why did the school change the fire alarm? That I must ponder very thoroughly, for it is as difficult a question as one might find in a math test. Perhaps it might be that they changed it to make it clear what the beep means. The Original Beep went “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank!” However, the New Beep goes “The fire alarm has been activated. Beep. Beep. Beep. Attention.” And that gives us a lot more information than just “aaank.”

Another question to ponder is that of my own private sidekick, who asked, “Who’s the culprit? Who is the Voice of the Fire Alarm?” I thought this was a great question, and so I found three prime suspects. Here are the results of me interviewing each one of them.

Our first suspect: Buddy. Now, as a canine, he has a significant bark, and it is highly likely that he could’ve been hired to be the fire alarm. Possibly, he was given dog biscuits as a reward for his labor? When I asked him, “Are you the fire alarm?” All he did was bark, which I take as a no. Then I spent the rest of my precious time playing fetch with him. I’ll admit it: he’s a pretty cute dog.

The next on the sus list is Buddy’s mother, who’s a chair. This chair is not only extremely comfortable, but has a beautiful floral design on it. And the floral design could’ve easily grabbed the microphone and said, “Attention. Attention.” So, I interviewed her. When I asked her whether she was the fire alarm, she said, “No, of course not!” So I am forced to remove her from the list.

My pencil is the last on the list. I have always wondered why it shrinks every time I use it, and as you might know, shrinking whenever forced to write big words is a sign of hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. What this has to do with anything I’m not sure, but for the sake of justice I had to choose one suspect, and my pencil is the one. Anyhow, here’s how his interview went.

Me: Hi pencil, I’m going to interview you today.

Pencil: …

Me: Where were you while the alarm was going off?

Pencil: …

Me: Let’s try again. Are you the fire alarm?

Pencil: …

Me: Okay… I’ll just take that as a yes. Case closed!