Reasons for Beard

Reasons for Beard

steve janke

1. It discourages unseemly women from looking at me, and when they do it is with insolence.
2. I want to see what it looks like to be Moses
3. I am enjoying my new found freedom (not lasting). And this beard helps ward off the rats that come into my life
4. It allows me to stroke my beard anytime I want.
5. I got AADD. Every time I get my tooth brush, I forget the razor. When I brush my teeth, I forget to shave.
6. I don’t have a woman in my life to stroke her hair, but I have my beard!
7. To make the derelict think I am crazier than they. Therefore, leaving me alone
8. No money to buy a razor.
9. To have my parents stop saying “That’s a good boy”. After a month seeing I have hair growing on my face, they stopped.
10. Do lions shave their mane?
11. It is a witness and testimony to all men, to which I have not been with a woman intimately in mind or body since my last shave.
12. When wearing a tie it hides the front of my collar that I may or may not have buttoned.
13. Not having a woman in my life, I still have beautiful hair to smell and sniff...Well, it's euphoric and smells beautiful...
14. I wear my beard so that old girlfriends won’t recognize me. I just can’t have my parents get a spaz if those girlfriends show up.
15. Considering my past, I am hoping those females won't recognize me.
16. The crazies out there don't approach me fearing I am crazier than they.
17. The musician have a 'musician's patch' or 'soul patch', the prophet has his beard.
18. The innocent, give me more attention than any one else in the world. Who could ask for more?
19. The beard acts as a natural bib.
20. Truly, it keeps my neck warm in the winter. In the summer, all I have to do is spay my beard with water and my neck is cool!
21. It hides the sorrows in the face.