Never Say Never Again

Re-enter an older Bond ...

Never Say Never Again (1983) Distributed by Warner Home Video

Video - NSNA

Older, wiser ? - NSNA
After his lack lustre performance in Diamonds .., Connery returns as 007 in a non EON production and re-working of Thunderball. In this Warner Bros. release, Sean helped by his $5 million fee is in competition with Moore's Octopussy.

In this updated but similar plot, we have a wiser, older, greyer and phased out secret agent who in the opening sequence has to save a damsel in distress on a jungle training exercise resulting with a knifing for Bond. During the video replay M played by a 'crusty' Edward Fox is not impressed, so he sends James off to Shrublands, a health clinic "to fight some toxic radicals". On arrival he spots the lovely Fatima Blush parading as a nurse and drugging poor Capt. Jack Petachi ( no double in this version ) who is part of a SPECTRE plot to steal two nuclear missiles. Yet again Connery gets to grip with another blonde ( Prunella Gee ) but has a drawn out and silly fight with ex-wrestler Pat Roach ( who is credited as Lippe .. a Count never ! ) which ends with help from some bodily fluid.

A life on the ocean seas - NSNA

A less menacing Blofeld ( Max von Sydow ) and crazy Largo ( Klaus Maria Brandauer ) are the main villains helped by Blush, the ravishing Barbara Carrera who like Octopussy's Wayborn seems to end her lines with an exclamation mark. Her character enjoys killing her victims, an earlier version of GoldenEye's Xenia, but after a long and exciting bike chase around the streets of the South of France she finally gets the point from James after demands about their love-making on a boat. Meanwhile Brandauer's portrayal of a wealthy businessman & calculated, sinister modern day villain is great especially with his hold over Jack's dancing sister Domino ( Kim Basinger ).

Hold this ! - NSNA
This adventure may lack the EON trade-mark ( especially the Bond theme ) but because of Connery's charm & presence Never .. proves to be an enjoyable romp with good supporting cast: a brief appearance by Alec McCowen as Q aka Argy who expects "gratuitous sex and violence" from our hero and aided by another Felix Leiter ( Bernie Casey whom film critic Barry Norman jokingly suggested Felix Darker ). Director Irvin The Empire Strikes Back Kershner keeps the narrative moving along at a nice pace helped by some exciting stunts and the usual Bond locations ( the Bahamas for the underwater scenes where 007 is fished up by Valerie Leon who played the receptionist in Moore's The Spy .. ). Also around to provide some comedy is the bumbling Small-Fawcett played by Rowan tv's Mr. Bean & Blackadder Atkinson . On the musical side not a bad title* theme by Lani Hall but for the rest as Bond composer David Arnold recently said "without the Bond Theme it's just an action movie". Hold me tight ? - NSNA

Despite ending pleads from a wet Atkinson of "We Need You !", Connery winks to the camera and will "never again" appear as James Bond 007. No doubt helped by the blonde Miss Basinger in a tiger swimming costume. Watch out for a couple of obvious bloopers ( Blush's water skis and Leiter's diving head gear ). Also questions about the re-vamped plot, less over the top than Thunderball, like how does Domino appear from nowhere to shoot that spear ? Poor James had to order a Naval chopper ( from somewhere ? ) to drop down a well to catch up with Largo.

If it took Connery & co. nearly 20 years to do this entertaining re-make, how long will it take EON to do similar with Casino Royale ? Now there's an idea ( as once suggested ) ... move on to 2006.

* In a tv interview Connery said that the movie's title was thought up by his wife.

DVD - NSNA

In 2006 when MGM Home Entertainment brought out their James Bond Ultimate Edition 2-Disc DVD collection they also released a single DVD of Connery's non-Eon movie. With a DVD cover using the end Tears of Allah set ( repeated on disc without the stars ) as background with a black haired, less wrinkle faced Connery and his two lady co-stars in the foreground - not the best of Ms. Carrera. Perhaps this touched-up photo of Sean was to attract an audience not aware this was an older Bond, shame as they only had to look at rear cover photos ! The only extra on the disc is the movie's cinema trailer.

This one helps complete your Bond DVD collection.