Relationship Advice

Do's and Don'ts of Valentine's Day

*Disclaimer* This is completely satirical and should not be taken seriously. This is meant to cause people to reflect on their current behaviors and hopefully make changes for the good. - Cate

Do’s: Pick Up Lines

Pick up lines are a sure fire way to get a bae. 

• Are you the sun? Because you are hot.

• Do you like minerals? Because you rock.

• Are you Thomas Edison? Because you light up my life.

• Are you a bee? Because I want to be your honey.

• Are you a runner? Because you have been running through my mind all day.

• If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I would only have a dollar because you never left my mind.

Don’ts: Messing up basic questions. 

You can’t be messing up on Valentines day so here is how not to. 

• Are you dating someone?

This means they want to know if you want to date them. It doesn’t matter if you have someone else in your life. Just say no.

• Are we exclusive?

They just want to make sure they will never find out if you are cheating. They don’t have to know all the details. Just say yes.

• Did you miss me?

It is always yes. Even if you haven't thought of them all day. What they don’t know doesn’t hurt them. 

• Where were you?

Visiting older family members. It makes it even better if there is a sappy story involved.  

• Who is ____?

A second cousin. It is always the second cousin. They will never be forced to meet them but you can still be close with them. 

• Can I see your phone?

This one takes planning. Contacts need to be changed. And remember, if they ask, it is always a second cousin. But play it cool. The more defensive you act, the more guilty you look.