The Filth - Introduction
© Grant Morrison 2004
Transcribed and formatted by Rogan, a Bosnian Art History student, at Studfor, August 2010
ARE YOU:
TROUBLED
BY PERSISTENT, NAGGING SOUL-ACHES?
UNABLE
TO SLEEP IN OLD-FASHIONED, THREE-DIMENSIONAL SPACE?
EXHAUSTED
FROM SUPERVISING WORLDS THAT ONLY YOU CAN SEE?
IF SO, THEN TAKE HEART: COOLING, SOOTHING RELIEF FROM REALITY IS HERE WITH THE FILTH FROM MORRWESTERSKCO - NOW AVAILABLE IN PRESCRIPTION STRENGTH!
THE EXPERTS AGREE - NOTHING IS MORE EFFECTIVE FOR SHRINKING PAINFUL EXISTENTIAL ERUPTIONS.
DON'T SUFFER FOR A MINUTE LONGER - GET THE FILTH TODAY!
Side effects of THE FILTH include convulsions, leakage, aphasia, fenestration, logorrhea, tinnitus and beatitude. MorrWestErskCo, Ltd. is a wholly imaginary subsidiary of Grant Morrison, Chris Weston and Gary Erskine, Inc.
Patient Product Information
The
FILTH™
COMIC BOOK ISSUES 1-13
WARNING ------ BE CAREFUL
Please read this introduction carefully before you start to use THE FILTH. If you have any questions or are not sure about anything, ask your doctor, pharmacist or comic book dealer.
WHAT IS THE FILTH?
The Filth contains the active ingredient metaphor.
* The rectangular, multicolored comic books marked "The Filth" contain 500 mg of active visual and thematic metaphor per issue. Comic books also contain inactive ingredients paper and ink.
Metaphor is one of a group of problem-solving medicines known as figures of speech which are normally used to treat literal thinking and other diseases. Metaphor combines two or more seemingly unrelated concepts in a way that stimulates lateral thought process and creativity. Patients using The Filth are required to participate in the generation of significant content by interpreting text and images which have been deliberately loaded with multiple overlapping meanings and scales.
The comic book issues come in collected editions of 13 and are to be consumed optically.
WHAT IS THE FILTH USED FOR?
This comic book is used to treat all manner of disorders including Internet pornography addiction, insomnia, grief, "mid-life" crisis, schizophrenia, the ignorance of samsara and 21st-century blues, especially in patients whose millennial anxiety and general paranoia has not yet responded to normal treatments.
WHEN MUST THE FILTH NOT BE USED?
* If your doctor has advised you to avoid the use of metaphor.
* If you refuse to acknowledge the mocking laughter of the Abyss.
* If you cannot face the fact that your entire immediate environment is a seething battlefield of microscopic predators, prey and excreta and, simultaneously, a rich and complex metaphor.
* If, without uderstanding how it happened, you have found yourself in a dark room breastfeeding two elderly men you hardly know.
* If you are taking certain "dumb" antibiotics present in most media.
* If you are allergic to comic books or any of the ingredients they contain.
* If you take high-dose vitamin A supplements or have high levels of cholesterol or triglycerides (a fat-like substance) in your blood.
WHEN YOU SHOULD BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN USING THE FILTH
Make sure your doctor knows if:
* You or members of your family have a history of brutality and stupidity dating back to the pre-Cambrian oceans.
* You or members of your family really think anyone is listening when you talk the shite you talk.
* You regularly use drugs to desensitize yourself against the violent entertainment you consume.
* You have a history of vague depression, all-pervading guilt and a denial of personal mortality despite living in the pampered luxury of a privileged capitalist democracy.
If you experience severe diarrhea, stop reading The Filth and contact your doctor immediately.
Your night vision may be affected by this medicine and ultraviolet light may become visible to you, so avoid sun-beds and "Insecutor" bug-killing lamps, as the glare may lead to blindness.
Special note for blood donors
You should not donate blood in smug imitation of Christ either during or for at least one month after reading The Filth.
MAY THE FILTH BE USED DURING PREGNANCY OR WHILE BREASTFEEDING?
* The Filth must NOT be taken during pregnancy.
* The Filth MUST be taken during pregnancy.
* The Filth must NOT be taken during breastfeeding.
* The Filth MUST be taken during breastfeeding.
Scientific opinion remains undecided.
Important
The Filth will damage an unborn baby only if inserted into the body. Female readers must strictly follow these instructions:
* You must not become pregnant while reading The Filth.
* If you are a woman of childbearing age, you should have been using an effective method of contraception for at least a month prior starting The Filth.
HOW SHOULD THE FILTH BE READ?
* Always hold the comic books as your doctor tells you to. Your doctor will tell you when and how much to read and what to think.
* The comic books can be read either one at a time or all at once. Take them with a meal or with a glass of milk and some recreational drugs.
* Occasionally feelings of isolation and alienation may become worse during the first phase of treatment. Your symptoms should improve with further treatment.
* A course of treatment is generally dictated by reading and interpreting speed, after which you are likely to remain free of symptoms for a long time.
* Repeated courses of therapy are not normally needed, but if your symptoms reoccur significantly then you or yor doctor may decide on repeat doses of The Filth.
* If you read too many issues at once or someone accidentally reads your copies of The Filth, contact your doctor, comic book dealer or nearest hospital straight away.
WHAT ARE POSSIBLE UNWANTED EFFECTS OF THE FILTH?
* Eye irritation
Your eyes may feel abused and slightly inflamed after exposure to The Filth. This may especially be a problem if you wear contact lenses or big horse blinkers. Ask your comic dealer to suggest some less visually demanding entertainment immediately.
* Aches and pains
Some people have muscle aches and pains and occasionally soreness of the tendons when they are reading this comic book. This may be more likely if you remain motionless in bizarre and awkward positions while reading.
* Hair changes
You may notice some changes to your hair (it will have grown very slightly) after reading The Filth for a while. This is usually only temporary and your hair should return to its normal lenght following a brief visit to your hairdresser or barber.
* Mood changes
Some people have experienced mood changes (depression or other symptoms of mental disorder followed by an elated, orgasmic release phase) while reading The Filth and in rare cases suicide and attempts of suicide have been thwarted and made to look ridiculous by use of this medicine.
HOW SHOULD THE FILTH BE STORED?
* Keep this medicine out of the reach and sight of all but the wisest of children.
* REMEMBER, this medicine is for you. Only a right c**t would tell you anything else.
* Do not store your medicine above 451° Fahrenheit.
FURTHER INFORMATION
You can get more information about The filth from your doctor, pharmacist or comic book dealer or from the website at www.crackcomicks.com.
DATE OF PREPARATION
March 2004