Experienced or Aged Out of Foster Care

There are many students attending college who have experienced or aged out of the foster care system and have a specialized set of concerns or struggles along with the more universal struggles of other students.  Below are some examples of what counselors see related to students who have had the experience of foster care and aging out of the system. 

Trust

Many young adults who have aged out of the foster care system may have few, if any people, that they feel like they can count on. The reasons for this are varied. Though it would be wonderful if everyone you interact with followed through on words with actions, they may not.  Ultimately it is up to the student to begin to figure out who is worthy of trust and take some chances. 

    Tips: 

• Start somewhere that feels like a safe bet.  It can often be difficult for students to admit that they are/were in the foster care system.  Find out the services that are available on campus and start with one that feels the best for you.  It may be the counseling center, it may be the Chaplain, or your adviser.  If you're not sure, try different places and see what feels best to you.  Which people do you feel comfortable with and like you can start to engage with?

• Challenge yourself a little every day.  Challenge yourself with classmates, roommates, campus supports, teachers.  Give people a little information about yourself and see how it goes.  If they respond well, try a little more.  

• Find out what supports are in your area or at your school specific to resources for your situation.  A little further down there are links posted for resources available in Maine. 

Shame/Embarrassment/Lack of Confidence

Aged out students may feel like they don't really belong in college and that someone may "find them out."  They may think that if their history is discovered that they will no longer like them or that they will be treated differently.  

    Tips: 

• First and foremost you were accepted to college!  Be proud.  You worked hard and you're here. You belong just as much as anyone else. 

• Assuming no one will like you will likely influence how you behave around others and that may set you up for not having a lot of friends.  There may be some people that you meet that will not understand and think less of you.  Most will not!  Give people a chance and as always, follow your gut about people.  Start with people that feel the warmest to you. 

• If you need more proof about why you are not less than others, check out these links to see what great company you are in.

www.imafoster.com                  www.sanmarhome.org

jitfosteryouth.org                       www.casey.org

Belonging

It may be difficult to feel that you belong.  You may be worried that you don't quite fit in, that you're not likable, that you have nothing in common with other students.  The thing about feeling like you belong is that you have to be open to it and actively participate in making it happen.  It's natural to feel shy or guarded.  However, you will be going to school for at least four years and it's best to make the most of it.  

    Tips: 

• Look at the clubs and organizations on campus.  Find something that interests you and go.  The others that go will at least have that in common with you and that is a great start. 

• Start or join a study group in some of your classes.  If you have already declared your major than start out in those classes.  Again, it provides a place where you already have something in common with the others in the group; wanting to pass the class. 

• Get a part time job if you can.  On or off campus, this allows you to meet more people. 

• Go to smaller events that the school offers where you might be forced to interact with other people. 

Other Resources

Aging Out Institute - "AgingOutInstitute.com serves four groups of people: Foster youth approaching the age of 18, former foster youth who are dealing with life after foster care , foster parents, government and other foster program professionals who work with foster youth"

College Scholarships for Foster Children - Listing from collegescholarships.org for scholarships specific to children who have been in foster care. 

Foster Care to Success - Organization that for over 30 years has been providing college funding and support services for foster youth. 

Foster Club - Organization whose mission is "To lead the efforts of young people in and from foster care to become connected, educated, inspired and represented so they can realize their personal potential and contribute to a better life for their peers."

From Foster Care to Freshman Year - NPR story. 

Jim Casey Youth Initiative - Organization whose mission is "to ensure that young people—primarily those ages 14 through 25—make successful transitions from foster care to adulthood."

Maine youth Transition Collaborative - Organization whose mission is to "improve the successful transition of youth in foster care to adulthood." 

Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation - Housing assistance for youth who have aged out of foster care.