Domestic Violence
Whether you identify as a woman, man, transgender, gay, straight, or bi-sexual, you could at some point, find yourself in a domestic violence situation.
Domestic violence is not always easily identified by those in it. Often times relationships start out picture perfect and slowly shift. This can look like your partner wanting to spend every waking moment with you, which often can be seen as romantic and flattering. This then can turn into you having to cancel plans with friends or family in order to spend time with your partner. It may be that your partner tries to make you feel bad for not being with them or seems angry when you do your own thing. You may begin to feel that you're not trusted by your partner. Your partner may call you names, follow you or check your emails and phone messages and question you vigorously about what you have done or plan to do and with whom. The behaviors can slowly increase to violent acts that range from slapping to severe abuse that unfortunately sometimes ends in death. There may or may not be a consistent pattern of physical abuse. Domestic violence is not just about the physical aspects, there is a lot of emotional abuse that goes along with it.
Warning Signs/Red Flags
Information below taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Telling you that you can never do anything right
Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away
Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members
Embarrassing or shaming you with put-downs
Controlling every penny spent in the household
Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
Preventing you from making your own decisions
Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children
Preventing you from working or attending school
Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets
Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol
Real Stories from Real People
Below is a link to real stories from real people who were in violent relationships. They tell their stories, why they stayed and why they worked so hard to get away. Warning: Some of the stories are graphic and include descriptions of violence.
Why Didn't You Just Leave? - 6 Domestic Violence Survivors explain why "just leaving," it isn't that simple. This story can be found at the Huffington Post website.
Where to Find Help
If you or someone you care about is in a domestic violence situation, there is a lot of help available. You can come to the counseling center, you can call a hotline or use the domestic violence resources in the area. Anyone can experience domestic violence! No matter if you're straight, gay, bi, transgender, white, black, bi-racial, male, female, young, old, rich or poor.
If you think you may be in an unhealthy relationship or are concerned about a friend and don't know how to talk about it, look at the information posted here or contact one of the numbers below.
Partners for Peace - 1-800-863-9909
Local Domestic Violence Resource
https://www.partnersforpeaceme.org/
LGBT Domestic Violence Assistance
Family Crisis Services - Maine 1-866-843-HELP (4357)
http://familycrisis.org/lgbtqi/
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233
Website offering information on domestic violence and resources.
http://www.domesticviolence.org
Stop Abuse For Everyone (SAFE)
Website of information about Domestic Violence
