Bouncing Back from Failure/Mistakes

Mistakes and failure are a part of life and often from those mistakes and failures come the best information about ourselves and the greatest opportunities to learn and grow.  The sooner you can learn to embrace the mistakes and failures, own up to them and learn from them, the sooner the fear about them happening will decrease.  Some mistakes are harder than others. Depending on the field you are in, a mistake may physically harm someone.  Regardless of the severity of the mistake, owning and learning from it is extremely important. 

Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Mistakes tend to sneak up on you.  You don't plan on making them and yet, still they occur. Here are some common ones that a little self awareness can help keep at bay.

- Acting like you are better than the menial tasks you are asked to do. - You are there to learn.  It isn't unusual for a new intern/practicum student to initially be given tasks that seem below your capability.  If, after all, you can't even complete these "easy" tasks, how can they trust you to do more? View the small tasks as a test and perform them with professionalism.  Most of the time you will start to see that people will trust you with more and if you ask for more and have proven yourself on the small things, they will give you more.  If you are performing well and feel like the placement is not recognizing that and continue to give you tasks that do not allow you to learn, then you will have to talk about it with your supervisor. 

- Not asking questions or for clarification. - If you are not sure about something, DO NOT pretend that you are.  Ask for clarification and if you are being asked to do something you have never done, ask for assistance. Don't let pride get in the way and don't think that asking questions or for assistance will make you look bad.  You will look worse if it's discovered that you didn't know what you were doing and didn't say anything. 

- Not following through. - Whatever you are asked to do, follow through to the end.  Once you've performed a task to its fruition, let the person know that gave it to you. Ask them if there is anything else they would like you to do.  If you are not able to finish it by the end of the day, check in with the person, let them know where you are in the process and your plan for completing it the next day. 

- Not learning the culture of the organization. - It's important to know how the organization runs, especially the part that you are assigned. Know how the hierarchy works, use their methods of communication, their forms, know and follow their deadlines, their dress code, etc.  This doesn't mean that if you think something could work better that you can't let them know, however, if you are telling them they should do things differently, when you haven't even learned how they do them or why, then you are setting yourself up for a difficult time.

- Drinking too much at a organization celebration. - If there is a celebration of some sort while you are at your placement and alcohol is served, what should you do?  If you are of legal age, and everyone from the boss to the rest of the employees appear to be drinking, you may decide to drink.  However, remember, you want to continue to make a good impression.  You may want to limit yourself to one or two, no matter what else is going on around you.  In this case it truly is better to be cautious and not drink or drink minimally so you can remain in touch with all your faculties. 

- Using your work time as your personal time. - Using work computers for non-work related work.  Using your cell phone to text or check social media instead of paying attention to what is going on around you.  Showing up late, taking long lunches, etc.  When you show up to work, it is time to work.  That means you respect the space, the rules and the culture. Keep your cell phones off or don't keep them on you. Only check your phone when you are on an actual break. Show up on time.  If you know you are going to be late, let someone know and don't make it a habit.  Go to lunch and return when you are expected to.  There may be times when you really need to break the norms, but overall, that should be a rare occasion and should be communicated to your supervisor and colleagues. 

- Blaming others or circumstances for you not completing something or not doing it how the placement wants it done. - This is a BIG one.  You are an adult now.  Working in an adult world. Part of being an adult means taking responsibility for your own faults, shortcomings and mistakes.  If you can not do this, then no matter what mistakes you make, you won't have an easy time bouncing back, if you bounce back at all. When you're nervous or feeling defensive, it is easy to say things like, "I never learned that," or "They didn't tell me til it was too late," or "They weren't clear with their instructions." "My laptop died so I couldn't get that done, etc, etc."  You could be quite valid in some of your assertions, however, if you never take responsibility and ownership of your own behavior, you won't learn.  You also won't go very far in your internship or placement. If there is a legitimate problem, let someone know and let them know your plan for solving it. 

What if You Really Messed Up? 

How do you come back from a major mess up? Can you? Much of how that happens and how long it will take really depends on you. 

You may have heard horror stories about a student losing their placement because they messed up.  You may not have heard how they continued on or how it was settled.  This can make you think that there is no coming back from a major mistake, but there is. 

Bouncing back after a major mistake

Take a personal inventory. Sit down on your own at first, and write down the behaviors that led you to where you are now.  Be honest about the behaviors and the thoughts behind them. Realize and accept the role you played.  Don't focus on other people's behaviors or thoughts, only yours.  Think about the impact you made on the environment around you. Think about how your behaviors impacted the well being of others, safety, trust, etc. Sit with this inventory and take it to heart.  Prepare yourself to share it and  talk about it. 

Share what you discovered with your supervisors and others that may be directly involved. Taking the personal inventory is great but it is also meant to be shared.  Whether you have lost your placement, or are being heavily considered to lose your placement, you will want to share your inventory.  When something goes wrong in a placement there is typically a meeting with you at the placement itself as well as back at your school in your program.  This is scary but important.  This is where knowing what impact you have had by behaving as you did and sharing that information can help you move beyond it. Ultimately no one wants to see you fail, so if you have and you are able to take responsibility, you will do better in the end.  This does not mean you will get to stay in your placement or program, but it will help you accept responsibility and know how to do things differently.

Accept the feedback and consequences your are given. If you have truly accepted your part and recognized the role you played in your own setbacks, then accepting the consequences will be easy, because they will make sense to you.  If you find that when the consequences come your way that you are angry at others, blaming circumstances or people for your behavior, then you may need to go back to step one and redo your inventory. There may be some consequences that you don't agree with or wished that they didn't have to happen.  If you have truly looked at yourself however, they really won't be a surprise to you.  

Move forward and make a plan. Once the discussions have occurred and you've accepted your consequences don't give up.  Even if the worst case scenario happened, whatever that may be for you, don't give up.  Take your new self knowledge and make a plan.  If you can no longer work in the placement you were in, can you be placed somewhere else? Who do you need to talk with about that? If you were kicked out of the program you were in, what other options do you have? What are your resources and who can you talk to?  Don't forget about Career Services.  They can help you figure out some next steps if you feel like you chose the wrong field or are just feeling stuck. 

Resources Available at Husson 

Your adviser/placement supervisor

Career Services (Peabody 201)

Counseling Services (Peabody 214)

Chaplain (Peabody 208)

It's important to stay connected to people.  Aside from Husson resources, don't forget to use your friends, family, and anyone else that you feel is a support to you.