Feedback and Conflicts

Though sometimes it can feel like feedback creates negative conflict, it certainly doesn't have to. When done appropriately and viewed appropriately, feedback is some of the greatest opportunities for learning and perfecting your skills. 

What Is Feedback

Feedback is not offered by your placement supervisors or colleagues as a way to make you feel bad, dumb, or useless. You may feel like this sometimes and take feedback negatively.  If this happens ask yourself to think about the reasons why you are in the placement and what is the goal of the placement. When you see feedback from the perspective of helping you succeed, it is easier to accept. 

• Feedback is not criticism for the sake of criticizing. 

• Feedback is not someone judging you because they have nothing better to do.

• Feedback should always take into account your strengths and weaknesses.  

What If I Never Get Any Positive Feedback?

Though true constructive feedback shares your strengths and your weaknesses, it is possible that a supervisor or colleague has a tendency to focus on the negative.  This can leave you feeling angry, disappointed, and even hopeless.  If you do not feel that you can approach your supervisor with your concern, than talk to your school field supervisor. Do not involve other interns. Do some role play/rehearsal for how you will offer your feedback to the supervisor. Being a student, does not mean that you don't have the right to offer feedback to the supervisor.  Just remember what feedback is and approach your supervisor in the same professional, constructive way you would have them approach you. 

Learning to Embrace Feedback

Listening and accepting feedback can feel impossible when you are feeling the pressure to be the best.  The fact is that being the best really does mean being open to hearing about your weaknesses, accepting and owning your mistakes, and understanding that you can NEVER know everything and NEVER do everything perfectly. 

• Be open to learning - Remind yourself that you're in school, at a practicum or internship to learn and that those around you are there to share their experience and teach you.  

• Practice with friends - Ask your friends to start giving you some constructive feedback outside of class. Practice makes perfect.

• Supervisors and colleagues are teachers - If you view those in your new setting as an extension of your teachers, it may be easier to accept feedback.

Conflicts

Conflicts come in all shapes, sizes and situations.  Below are some examples.

• Conflicts of learning - You can be in a placement and find that what you learned in school, is different from how things work in that placement.  This can leave you feeling a little uneasy and you may resist the change. 

  • What should you do? Be open.  Ask questions.  Get an understanding of why the organization does things in that manner.  

• Conflicts of personality - If you don't seem to mesh in personality types with someone at your placement, this can cause a great deal of stress and concern.  You may feel agitated, frustrated, or even shut down. 

  • Use your field supervisor (as long as it is not them you have the conflict with) or your school supervisor to work through options of handling the situation.  Try to always remember if it is a personality clash the only thing you can really do is control how you respond. Make a plan, practice, and follow it. 

• Conflicts of fit - You might discover that the placement is not the right fit for you at all. 

  • Can you find ways and work with others to get some or all of the experience you hoped you would?  Who do you need to talk to for that to happen? If the the placement isn't the best fit, can you learn from the experience and use it as a learning experience for next time? 

  • Is the placement such a mismatch that it is better for your health and well being to leave and try another placement, even if it means graduating later? Use your supervisors, family, friends and other supports to help you determine your best options. 

At some point, conflict will occur. The more you try to avoid it, the more it builds.  It is better to address it, express yourself as best you can, be open to hearing the other person's perspective, and learning how to live with clashes of personality.  It is possible to not like someone and respect their work and knowledge.