Grief

According to the dictionary grief is: "keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret." Most often we think of feeling grief when we have experienced the death of someone.  Grief however can be experienced through any sort of loss or major transition.  We can feel grief when a family member or friend has died.  We can feel it for a pet that has died.  We can feel grief for the loss of a relationships whether it be of a friend, a partner, or any person that was significant to us for any reason.  We can feel grief for the loss of a job, a home, changing schools, anything that feels like a loss is attached to it.  

As students in college we may experience a number of transitions that can feel like losses.  Though many of those transitions are typically exciting, they can also cause us to feel sadness and even confusion.  Below you will find some information on managing changes and transitions.  

When My Parents Passed Away - A video on buzzfeed.com where several adults talk about the loss of a parent or parents. 

Grief due to Death

As we grow older the reality of life tends to find us, that is, with life comes death.  No matter what your beliefs about death it is a difficult transition to face and with it comes periods of grief for those who have been left behind.  There is no quick fix for grief and there is no right or wrong way to grieve or show grief.  Everyone is different.  It's important for those of us grieving to remember this.  It's important for those supporting those that are grieving to also remember this.  

In today's world there seems to be so little understanding for the process of grieving a loss.  In our jobs we often are allowed 3 days of bereavement time.  Though grief is not neatly put away and dealt with after three days.  Many people who are experiencing grief may feel that they "should be over it by now."  It's important again to remember, that this is a process and there are no "shoulds" or "have to's" or even "musts."  

I don't know what to say

Just as there is no right or wrong formula for grieving there is really no right or wrong formula for showing support.  It is said that in times of grief, words are meaningless. This is in many ways true.  It is not often the words that people remember from supportive others, but the sentiment and the actions.  Often times just being there, allowing someone to feel and express, is the most important part.  

No one seems to understand

This can often be the feeling that the person experiencing grief can have.  On many levels this is also true.  As we are all individuals with our own experiences, no one can truly understand fully your own experience.  However, this does not mean that others can not empathize or understand pieces or even have some pieces of shared experience.  If you are feeling this way, it is sometimes helpful to attend groups that are supportive to those who have lost a loved one.  Below is a link for such a group in our area.  

I feel like I need some help

If you notice that you are struggling through the process, don't have a lot of support, or just want to put your mind at ease that what you are experiencing is "normal,"  please come into the counseling center and meet with one of our counselors.  

Though the grieving process is a natural one, it can often feel un-natural and you may notice that you simply don't feel like you have the energy or strength to do things.  You may feel more agitated, more tired, have difficulty focusing, etc.  If this is the case, make an appointment or make sure you are talking to friends.  It is also possible to be concerned that you are not feeling enough sadness or maybe that you feel nothing at all.  There is no right or wrong way in grieving. No matter what you are experiencing,  there are resources available to support you.  Don't hesitate to stop by and talk with us about what's available and how we can help. 

Find more information about dealing with death and chronic illnesses on the following page.

Support Services

Pathfinders - support group for grieving families - 207-973-8269

http://vnahomehealth.org/pathfinders/

Grief due to loss of any kind of change

Though most people think about grief in terms of the loss of a life, grief can occur with any loss.  When a friend has moved away, we lose a job, graduate from school, break up with someone, etc.  Grief is an emotion that can happen from any loss or change where we feel we are losing or have lost something.  Often times, when we experience a loss, feelings of other losses can come back as if they happened yesterday.  It's important to remember that grief is a natural emotion and that most people go through their process and eventually have a sense of normalcy again.  If you feel like you're struggling however, talk to someone.  It doesn't have to be counselor but if you are struggling with where to start, the counseling center can be a good place to begin.