Roommates

Basic Rules to Follow

• 1. Be Respectful - In other words, treat your roommate how you want to be treated.  This doesn't mean you should let them take advantage of you, or never tell them they are doing something, or have done something that annoys, hurts, or bothers you.  It simply means, communicate respectfully and treat them like a person.

  2. Watch Assumptions - Chances are, you and your roommate are very different in ways that may not be clear until you start living with them.  When we meet someone for the first time, we tend to think they have similar backgrounds and values. They may not.  It's good to talk about things like cleanliness, privacy, sharing, study needs/habits, noise levels, etc., right at the beginning so you can set up ground rules and avoid making assumptions later.

  3. Conflict is inevitable - It doesn't matter how similar or different, how much you like or don't like your roommate.  Conflict is going to happen.  Just remember to be respectful when discussing difficult topics.  Listen to each other and attempt to compromise.  

The Dos and Don'ts of being a College Roommate

Do - Start open communication early. From day one talk about your pet peeves, how clean or messy you are, if you're a night owl or need your beauty rest.  Talk about your schedules, how you want your room to be set up and thought about (example: a place to study and rest or a place to socialize and have fun). 

Don't - Pretend that you are easy going and easy to live with and that whatever your roommate wants to do is ok with you if you are not ok with it.  You are just setting you and your roommate up for some troubling times. 

Do - Be willing to compromise and make a plan for living together that you are both comfortable with.  Try setting up regular check-ins with each other, at least for the first couple of months so you know that you can keep the lines of communication open and make changes when needed.  

Don't - assume that your roommate knows that you don't like or appreciate something if you don't actually say it out loud.  They can not read your mind and often times silence is seen as permission. 

Do - Try to be friendly with your roommate.  

Don't - Assume that the two of you are going to be best friends forever. 

Do - Talk to your roommate first about any problems that you feel are happening in the living situation. If it can't be settled after that, then use your resources such as RAs and RDs to help you figure out what the next steps are. 

Don't - Have your parents or other friends try to solve your problem for you.  This is your time to begin the process of becoming an adult and adults attempt to work out and solve issues with other adults.  If you have someone do the work for you, you will never learn how to deal with similar situations in the future, and there will be more. 

Do - Be proactive and attempt to have open communication with your roommate.

Don't - Be passive aggressive and behave in ways that just look mean or like you don't care about the other person.  This can only cause more tension and stress for both of you and make you both miserable in your living situation. 

Husson's Rommate Agreement - Use this link to connect to Husson's Roommate Agreement.

Below is a video from the University of Missouri (http://reslife.missouri.edu/roommate) that illustrates some of the above and offers a few more tips for getting along with your roommate.