By Litzy Silva
November 13, 2003, wasn’t just a regular day, it was the day she was born. Her mother is gasping for air as she is pushing to give birth to her third child, and what is the gender? You may ask….
After hours and hours of pushing, pushing and pushing, sweat dripping down her face, being in pain and the baby is born and as the nurses are bring the baby to her mother, she sees that she just gave birth to her first daughter and the winnie the pooh honey hazel eyes, really tiny forehead and even the thin, light brown curly hair same as hers.
The mother grabs the baby and they both look at each other so deep into each other, almost as if they could read each other's mind. The baby gives the mother a smile and tears of joy come out so clear you can almost see the baby's reflection from them. She lays the baby in her chest, and gives her some slow and soft pats in the back so she could calm down as she sings her a song they used to sing to her when she was a toddler. As she does that the baby is picking her mothers scent and remembering it for later.
After being in the hospital for the necessary day the hospital requires she was good to go home and take her newborn beautiful daughter home. Once she got home, the car parked in the driveway, her husband opened the door for her and helped her get out of the car. She took a deep breath and breathed in the fresh flowers that were growing in her front lawn. She saw her flowers were growing and they were so bright when she smiled it looked like they smiled back.
Couple days later the mother rushed the mother to the hospital for a check up and she had a fever and was burning up almost as if she was boiling, nobody could do anything to bring it down. Doctors did not have hope that they could do anything or that she was gonna make it, they quarantined her, they quarantined her in those big plastic wrap in a hospital room, because no one knew what she had.
She asked to see her little baby girl so she can say goodbye but because of the virus they told her no. On her final days, her husbands brings her 2 boys of age 7 & 5 and her little girl who was almost 2 weeks old as though she could not hold them, not give them her last touch through their short brown curly hair and then going to their face, their small and soft face, she reminded them how much she loved them. Although they were too little to understand what was going on they shared one big laugh with their mother through a big transparent plastic wall.
A few days later the mother passed away.
Something that inspired me to write this story the way I did is ummmm, well to be honest I don’t know it sort of just popped in my head and ideas were just coming through my head as I was typing. And I think that as I was typing i wanted to make it sound interesting or like leave people with a suspense I think.
In the story “One last touch” Litzy Silva writes about a mother giving birth to her third child and how she then gets a disease no one knows about, a nonexisting disease, which prevents her from not having a whole lot of time with her newborn or her older boys.
The story begins with the mother being in the process of giving birth to her soon to be daughter. Silva uses epizeuxis when saying the words, “hours” or “pushing” emphasizing that it took a lot of hours and lots of pushing before meeting her daughter, then it's giving details of how the little girl has similarities to her mother
For example, she gives details of a lot of similarities the mom and the daughter have, like the same winnie the pooh hazel eyes, the small forehead or the same light brown curly hair. Silva goes into detail describing the similarities.In the following paragraph its describing a connection the baby and the mother have instantly once they both touch each other, comparing it like they can read each other’s mind and describing the mother coddling the baby as they used to do to her.
The two following paragraphs are about the mother having a fewer which turned out into a dangerously non existing disease that people didn't know about which then she has to be quarantine going days without seeing her kids and then ends up in her dying without seeing her kids grow up.
I like how much detail was put in to the story. with all the descriptions of the baby, setting, and other things around you could picture what they're talking about. I like how you can feel the instant connection a mother can have with her child. She includes how fast a mother can create a bond with her newborn with so little time being with them.
--Nelinda Gallegos
I love how much detail was added to the story, I was able to picture the baby and the mother and feel the emotions that were felt. And even though this story is fiction it seemed so real.
--Alyxia Benavides
What I liked the most about the short fiction, is when the mother had her baby girl for the first time in her arms.
The connection that existed between them is something so beautiful, the resemblance they had to themselves, they say that the love of a mother It is the most beautiful thing that exists, and although the mother could not see her grow or spend time with her baby, she enjoyed her and had the pleasure of meeting her and having her in her arms, my favorite details were when the mother lay on her breast while she she sang a song.
Notice in the writing that it has very good ideas, that the writing has many examples from life, very good punctuation, it seemed like a true story and not a short fiction.
This made me think that being a mother is the best gift that God can give a woman.
--Litzy Silva
Something I really enjoyed while reading this story was the great details the author included . One of the main phrases that stood out to me and made me feel like if I was there feeling and seeing all the action going on was " the winnie the phoo honey hazel eyes , really tiny forehead , and even the thin , light brown curly hair " . This really stood out to me because it felt like I was at the hospital just looking at the beautiful newborn . This story actually made me feel sad about the mother passing away and leaving her children all alone , but at the end a beautiful angel left and a new angel came to the world .
--Jazmin Perez
I loved this writing. The metaphors and imagery was very vivid. It almost felt like a movie ... it was a great writing piece.
--Amah'rion Poston