Parents
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
When Paul in this section addresses “fathers,” he is speaking to them in their role as the head of the household. Mothers, of course, are by no means excluded or assumed to be less active in bringing up the children. Recall that in the previous verse the apostle called on children to obey their “parents”—not just their fathers. We may therefore fairly understand this section of the table of duties to be addressed to both parents. Paul’s directives to parents take two forms, a negative followed by a positive.
Paul begins, “Do not exasperate your children.” Indeed, parents are in charge, but that doesn’t mean that they’re always fully informed or that they might not at times have used better judgment. Temperamental outbursts and undue harshness on the part of parents can do major harm to tender souls.
Instead of exasperating and frustrating children, parents are to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The Greek word translated “training” implies discipline and correction. It would be naive of parents to expect that such training will always be welcome. Recall the Scriptures’ comments regarding the acceptance of “chastisement” (Hebrews 12:7-13, particularly verse 11).
But in the long run, treatment that is fair and consistent will be helpful, particularly as that is combined with the “instruction of the Lord.”
Parents always need to remember that children have an old Adam who needs to be curbed with God’s law. But through Baptism and basic instruction from the Word, children also have a new self who cheerfully responds to God’s will as it is conveyed to them through God’s representatives.