The Blessed Effects of God’s Saving Grace (4:1–6:20)
Examples of pure living
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Sanctified living involves the whole person, including how he handles his tongue. It includes what he says as well as how he says it. Controlling the tongue is not an easy task. James acknowledges that when he writes, “No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). Natural man can’t tame the tongue, but the Holy Spirit can. And he does so in the new man, who is active in the Christian. Paul is appealing to that new man when he urges the Ephesians to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of [their] mouths.”
Unwholesome talk grieves the Holy Spirit. He has done his sanctifying work of calling, gathering, and enlightening people. He has made them his own and set his seal of ownership on them by dwelling in them. His goal is to keep them safely in the Christian fold “for the day of redemption,” that is, until judgment day. Christians who engage in unwholesome talk jeopardize not only their own faith; they also put the faith of others at risk. Rather than harm others by unwholesome talk, Christians are to speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.”
This reminds us of what Paul shared with his readers earlier in this chapter. The ascended Christ gave his church public servants of the Word who are to prepare God’s people for service-work, part of which is strengthening others through the gift of speech. Talking to others is a key part of the process. This does not mean getting up on a soapbox and making ourselves ridiculous or obnoxious. Quiet, ordinary, day-to-day conversation reflecting Christian insights and value judgments can do much to “benefit those who listen.”
Talking often discloses the evil in a person’s heart and mind. But whether its damaging presence is shown by talk or by actions, Paul strongly urges the Ephesians, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.