What Garb Is This?
Copyright 2005 by Jeff Suzuki
This is, I believe, the first SCA filk I wrote. Hence its poor scansion, forced measures, poor rhyme scheme...and yet some people still like it. I suspect it's because the song reflects their own experiences---as well it should, as it is based on my own experiences. As I've lost the original manuscript, I'm doing this from memory and improving it (to the extent that I can, given the material).
Back in my early days in the SCA, I was one of the few people in the (college) group that had a car; as a result, I often found myself driving people to events. The knife incident is more or less true (although it was a stage knife, not a real one, so I avoided any charges).
Could you please tell me whose garb this is, That was left in my gear after some event, Could you please tell me whose garb this is, Oh would someone please take it away. It's yellow and orange and made for a fool, And has a rather nice silken sash. I'd wear it myself but it's made of wool And it'd make me break out in a rash. Could you please tell me whose plates these are, That were left in my bag after some event, Could you please tell me whose plates these are, Oh would someone please take it away. They're round and they're wood and they weren't cleaned, And they've been in my bag since the first of May. Now they're turning all fuzzy and green, Oh would someone please take them away! Could you please tell me whose dress this is, That was found in my flat after some event. Could you please tell me whose dress this is, Oh would someone please take it away. It's red and it's silk and it's very fine, And it's done in the style of French court fashion It was found 'neath the bed by lady mine, And she won't believe my explanation! Could you please tell me whose knife this is, That was left in my car after some event, Could you please tell me whose knife this is, Oh would someone please take it away. As I was speeding to an event late, The radar did clock me at eighty-two. The fourteen inch blade made the cop irate, My case goes to court in late June. Could you please tell me whose sword this is, That was left in my campus after Pensic war, Could you please tell me whose sword this is, Oh would someone please take it away. It's sharp and it's steel and it's very fine, And it looks rather nice on my weapons shelf, Oh, well, never mind... This one I will keep for myself.